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Haiku Battle

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Augusto86, Apr 15, 2007.

  1. Augusto86

    Augusto86 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,776
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2004
    Location:
    A Cave in Afghanistan
    Ok, so many of you have noticed, shouted at me, and mocked my haiku-writing for the past couple of days. Sometimes you just get bored...it's been the slowest weekend ever!

    Anyways: I still love haikus and instead of cluttering up perfectly reasonable threads I've decided to start a haiku battle. Basically the way it works is: I'll start off with a haiku. The next person up will take some element of that haiku and turn it back around on me - imagery, subject, meter, whatever. Try to make it a sort of riposte. It's actually a sort of old Japanese form/game.

    It's a fun little game. And it'll shut me up! [​IMG]


    The pen weeps black ink;
    and parchment stained with its tears
    crumples in her hands.
     
  2. JetBlast

    JetBlast Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,880
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles / London
    Yes, I am aware.
    My haiku is very bad.
    I am miserable.

    [​IMG]

    JB
     
  3. Brian SD

    Brian SD Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    9,760
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    Feb 5, 2004
    Location:
    Tokyo
    The haiku master
    Weeps for faded Nudie Bjorns
    Olas will not join
     
  4. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,599
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    Apr 18, 2006
    Location:
    Virginia, USA
    告白は
    するより聞くのが
    苦手です
     
  5. Augusto86

    Augusto86 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,776
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2004
    Location:
    A Cave in Afghanistan
    告白は
    するより聞くのが
    苦手です


    Foe boasts of his strength;
    yet in foreign tongue, his pride
    falls upon deaf ears.
     
  6. VMan

    VMan Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,103
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Foe boasts of his strength;
    yet in foreign tongue, his pride
    falls upon deaf ears.


    You: Big fish, small pond
    Wanna step with true ballers?
    You gonna get served.
     
  7. yerfdog

    yerfdog Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,334
    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2006
    The king to be crowned
    Punks jump up to get beat down
    Always defeat clowns

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Huntsman

    Huntsman Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Jul 3, 2004
    The pen weeps black ink;
    and parchment stained with its tears
    crumples in her hands.


    Regardless of the pro/con haiku battle, you must know that I really appreciate this one. I write alot, by hand, with a dip pen, and it is a very important process to me -- weeping tears is an apt analogy. I have written it out, and have put it under the glass that protects my desktop.

    Thanks,
    Huntsman
     
  9. Alter

    Alter Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,539
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Regardless of the pro/con haiku battle, you must know that I really appreciate this one. I write alot, by hand, with a dip pen, and it is a very important process to me -- weeping tears is an apt analogy. I have written it out, and have put it under the glass that protects my desktop.

    Thanks,
    Huntsman


    I agree. Augusto has written a few nice haikus in the last few weeks. I hope he is saving these. They will make a nice collection someday.
     
  10. designprofessor

    designprofessor Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    tornado alley
    a mere golf pencil
    wields more power of change
    than my whole hard drive
     
  11. chorse123

    chorse123 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    10,448
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    endless New York rain
    spring clothes in closet unworn
    fucking Nor'easter
     
  12. JetBlast

    JetBlast Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Los Angeles / London
    Chorse, you win I think [​IMG]


    Angry passengers,
    A whole lot of fricking rain,
    This is the airport.

    JB
     
  13. mack11211

    mack11211 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,436
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Location:
    Brooklyn USA
    endless New York rain
    spring clothes in closet unworn
    fucking Nor'easter


    Like he said.

    [add lines and syllables as necessary]
     
  14. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,599
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    Apr 18, 2006
    Location:
    Virginia, USA
    rain, rain go away
    come back another day, please.
    plagiarism rules.
     
  15. LSeca

    LSeca Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,255
    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2007
    Location:
    Seattle
    rain rain go away
    come back another day please
    plagiarism rules


    winner! [​IMG]

    edit: sorry to quote before the commas
     
  16. tiecollector

    tiecollector Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,031
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    Sep 8, 2006
    Location:
    Germany
    Mom really hates me
    But with StyleForum's guidance
    I will out-style her!
     
  17. chorse123

    chorse123 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    10,448
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2004
    With all credit to Wordsworth (not William)

    In haiku battles
    Augusto will dial nine
    To get a line out
     
  18. Homme

    Homme Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,678
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    Mar 11, 2006
    Hot girls won't be found
    In the current affairs threads
    Only grumpy men
     
  19. Todd

    Todd Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    112
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2007
    Hot girls won't be found
    In the current affairs threads
    Only grumpy men


    But Thou Drug Habits
    May be covered up
    advice granted within
     
  20. kwiteaboy

    kwiteaboy Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    569
    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2006
    Your haiku is shit
    You know you can't hang with the
    King of poetry
     

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