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Feel like I'm going nowhere in life

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by pokey07, Aug 5, 2010.

  1. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Well-Known Member

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    I see you do not know many people trying to find work in entertainment right now.
     
  2. globetrotter

    globetrotter Well-Known Member

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    you have 30K, no responsibilities, a BA and a job and you are misrable and 24? that about sums it up?

    ok, here's what you do - liquidate everything. put it in an account that you can access. start traveling, as a backpacker, spending as little money as you can, set yourself a goal to work 10 days a month in something. you should be able to travel for 2 years plus on that, maybe as many as 5 if you are careful. you can see things that none of your friends have. get yourself a kindle and load it up with classics. read while you travel.

    now, you will be 27-28, with a BA, no money and no job, but you will be intersting, well rounded, you will apprectiate what you have, you will be well travelled and not spoiled.

    if you still aren't happy, inlist in the army for a few years, save 30K, and start over. believe me, eventually you will be doing great.
     
  3. haganah

    haganah Well-Known Member

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    Didn't read this whole thread, not sure i need to. Many (including I) believe that when someone close to you passes, it's good to do/create/improve on something in your life as a tribute to them. It will help channel your energy, help you in remembering them each time you do said activity, and is a great way to honor them.

    And, also, see a therapist. Nobody on here is qualified to give you advice regardless of how many self help books they've read or their philosophy majors from when they were in school. You need to work out your problems.
     
  4. pokey07

    pokey07 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry I put a negative sign in front of the $30k, but I knew a lot would miss it... I'm $30k in debt from undergrad. All the money I make now is pretty much going to that to pay that off as quickly as possible. If I was debt free I would not hesitate to go back to school (of course actually really thinking about what it is I want to do would be the first step though). Thanks for all the advice everyone. edit: and I agree I probably should see a therapist. I've never been though, and I don't really get how it works. What I need right now is a life coach. Who offers that service? (Besides this guy) [​IMG]
     
  5. imageWIS

    imageWIS Well-Known Member

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    And there goes your credibility.

    This.
     
  6. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Well-Known Member

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    The workweek is over. I can now turn off my crabby asshole autobot and be jolly.
     
  7. Superfluous Man

    Superfluous Man Well-Known Member

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    One thing many seem to think is the be all and end all is that you need a uni/college degree to be successful or happy or get where you are going. This is bullshit. Most of the really really successful people are not university educated, they just have a lot of common sense and a really good work ethic.

    Suvivorship biases ITT! But I am one of those who never went to college and I do agree that you don't need a degree to make it or be happy.
     
  8. imageWIS

    imageWIS Well-Known Member

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    Suvivorship biases ITT! But I am one of those who never went to college and I do agree that you don't need a degree to make it or be happy.

    Who mentioned happiness?
     
  9. sho'nuff

    sho'nuff Well-Known Member

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    without going into a lot of detail, basically, find a purpose in whatever you do. im serious. you find a purpose, it doesnt matter if you make 100,000 or 40,000, or if youre handicapped or 6'2 and good looking or whatever.

    not to rub it in or be trite, but i wake up everyday overjoyed at everything i have and live for. i literally count my blessings every other day or so and am so thankful, i cant help but to walk down the street whistle and hold a door open for someone.
     
  10. Superfluous Man

    Superfluous Man Well-Known Member

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    Who mentioned happiness?

    Orly
     
  11. CDFS

    CDFS Well-Known Member

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    Losing a parent at such a (relatively) young age or any age for that matter makes for a difficult time.

    Life loses some of its luster when you are in mouring. This will probably keep for a while, perhaps a long while.

    It probably makes every experience a little less pleasurable. So your feelings of pointlessness seem normal. I have mo solution for you other than kepping your chin up and makig the most of it. But I just want to wish you well.
     
  12. imageWIS

    imageWIS Well-Known Member

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    Orly

    Unless you equate money with happiness...
     
  13. pokey07

    pokey07 Well-Known Member

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    Losing a parent at such a (relatively) young age or any age for that matter makes for a difficult time.

    Life loses some of its luster when you are in mouring. This will probably keep for a while, perhaps a long while.

    It probably makes every experience a little less pleasurable. So your feelings of pointlessness seem normal. I have mo solution for you other than kepping your chin up and makig the most of it. But I just want to wish you well.


    Thanks for that, but I just want you guys to know I didn't lose my dad that recently... it's been a little more than 4 years ago. I just feel that since he passed I haven't had any guidance or anyone to really talk to about this stuff. Know what I mean?

    This is also why I'm thinking, it's been a while, time to get a move on... if that makes sense.
     
  14. CDFS

    CDFS Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for that, but I just want you guys to know I didn't lose my dad that recently... it's been a little more than 4 years ago. I just feel that since he passed I haven't had any guidance or anyone to really talk to about this stuff. Know what I mean? This is also why I'm thinking, it's been a while, time to get a move on... if that makes sense.
    My father lost his father when he was thirteen. And around the time he semi retired he lost his mother and had a lot of time on his hand. Then the grief/anger came back to him and he went through a difficult patch. My point being that dealing with your grief may be very good for you. So get a move on, but don't just move on, since that is, imo, not possible without some work, conversations and some sort of support, paid or not.
     
  15. Monaco

    Monaco Well-Known Member

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    as long as you're taking care of your mom and she is happy, you are NOT going nowhere in life.

    Do you have a girlfriend? Do your friends encourage you to do better?

    Why don't you create one of those long term to short term goal timelines? Since you mentioned a career in finance that didn't really take place, you can always strive for it.
     
  16. Humperdink

    Humperdink Well-Known Member

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    Fuck. Why did I read this thread? And why does this state have such restrictive gun laws...
     
  17. Flambeur

    Flambeur Well-Known Member

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    you have 30K, no responsibilities, a BA and a job and you are misrable and 24? that about sums it up?

    ok, here's what you do - liquidate everything. put it in an account that you can access. start traveling, as a backpacker, spending as little money as you can, set yourself a goal to work 10 days a month in something. you should be able to travel for 2 years plus on that, maybe as many as 5 if you are careful. you can see things that none of your friends have. get yourself a kindle and load it up with classics. read while you travel.

    now, you will be 27-28, with a BA, no money and no job, but you will be intersting, well rounded, you will apprectiate what you have, you will be well travelled and not spoiled.

    if you still aren't happy, inlist in the army for a few years, save 30K, and start over. believe me, eventually you will be doing great.


    This is good. My backup plan was always "hey, if I am ever at a point where I think that suicide might be an answer, I might as well go join the mafia, become a gunrunner or a scam artist.. " You know, just kind of seemed like a good idea when you no longer give a fuck.

    Thanks for that, but I just want you guys to know I didn't lose my dad that recently... it's been a little more than 4 years ago. I just feel that since he passed I haven't had any guidance or anyone to really talk to about this stuff. Know what I mean?

    This is also why I'm thinking, it's been a while, time to get a move on... if that makes sense.


    I've found a lot of direction by educating myself in every possible way - do you read books, brosky?

    This is all rather saddening, for all of you guys feeling like this.

    One of my favourite quotes is from that of the dalai lama which is quite simple

    "I believe the true meaning of life is to find happiness"

    I have this written on my wall (a chalkboard wall) and look at it every morning. It very simple because if you are not happy, then you should look at why and try and do something about it.

    I'm not a particularly religous person but do live my life to a basic set of buddhist principles of if you are good to people it will be returned which works for me. Karma if you will.

    But remember there is almost always someone worse off in life than you are, for example I do volunteer work for the red cross with a guy who has downs syndrome and the highlight of his week is me picking him up to go see a movie or go bowling, which is just an everday activity for you or I.

    This in itself doesn't make me happy of course, but I certainly feel much more fortunate myself knowing that things really aren't that bad for me. I have a good job, I'm fit, own my apartment (well bank does), drive a nice car and am generally pretty happy and healthy, so life could be way worse. You just have to look at it from a different perspective. I'm 30 and unmarried but would like to be in the next 5 years, but while I could let this get me down I don't, I just get on with living life.

    For the OP, there is surely someone out there with no parents left in more despair than you are, so be thankful you still have your mother. AJ, there is surely someone out there that doesn't have a beautiful wife and child that wants those things, and you should appreciate that you do. I think you get my point.

    I think you should definitely get some greif counselling to start off with, this could be a big part of the problem with you getting motivated.

    Good luck!


    outside of the buddhist bullshit, this actually isn't too bad.

    Baby steps in the right direction can add up to pretty big changes in not too long a time. But you have to know what you want, and have to be willing to put in time and effort to achieve those baby steps.

    If you have no part 1 ready, then figure that out I guess.


    KEY

    Dude, your 24 as cheesy as it sounds your lie has barely begun. You can still do just about anything.
    Having 30k, a degree, and a job (and presumably job skills) puts you far ahead of many if not most 24 year olds.
    Again, 24 is really young and you've got plenty of chances to change direction.
    See a therapist.
    Ignore everyone telling you life sucks.
    SF is not the type of place to get good advice about this sort of thing, too full of poseurs and "master of the universe" types.


    somewhat true


    I dunno man, both people who mentioned booze and chicks were joking, and you specifically touched on that.

    What the hell is wrong with you? Sex and booze are great, and will always be on my list of like 6 things that make me happy whether I'm successful or not.


    For me personally, some of the most important things were:

    -realize money isn't everything, even if your sole wish in life is to make money
    -concentrate on long term and build your short term goals on that, not the other way around
    -be humble and at least attempt to understand the context of things instead of jumping to conclusions
    -understand the small things in life that make you happy - i.e. sex, books, booze, food, wisdom, clothes, cigars, whatever, etc
    -some other stuff I forgot because I am hung over.
     
  18. LTJazz

    LTJazz Active Member

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    Brilliant post; I agree whole heartedly. First and foremost, I believe the original poster should spend some of that money he has saved up and go out, have a little fun, and meet some people. Don't underestimate the power of networking. You may meet someone that introduces you to a possible career you may fall in love with while simultaneously clearing your head. While working your current job, I suggest trying out some other things. Maybe offer your knowledge or time to a place that might appreciate it. You could also take some of your money and invest in some other skills that might help to segue you to another job....or you could simply work your way up the ladder in your current field. Above everything, find something that makes you happy. Money helps, but is an extra 20 or 30 thousand really going to change your life? Isn't it more important to be in a happy place? Surrounded by people you enjoy your time with.....maybe a person you care about to share your passions with? I think it's more than money and a job right now...you need fulfillment. For being 24, you're not in a terrible place...you're certainly better off than my friends with art or music degrees. You've got quite a bit of time. I've seen so many people, especially in my own family, that would quit their reasonably well paying job for a bit more happiness. My friend, your life and time are far more valuable than money.
    sorry to hear about your dad mate i think only the luckiest people know exactly what they want from life and head down that path effortlessly. the only thing to do is some deep soul searching. it sounds like you want to acheive something with your life so thats the first step. now the hard bit is figuring out what. be realistic abou what will make you happy and work hard towards acheiving it. this reads like some bullshit self help guide but i went through the same thing and came out the other side. i was a few years older than everyone i graduated with but knew what i was doing is what i wanted to do. good luck
     
  19. Slopho

    Slopho Well-Known Member

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    ^ He's 30K in debt.
     
  20. edinatlanta

    edinatlanta Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for that, but I just want you guys to know I didn't lose my dad that recently... it's been a little more than 4 years ago. I just feel that since he passed I haven't had any guidance or anyone to really talk to about this stuff. Know what I mean?

    This is also why I'm thinking, it's been a while, time to get a move on... if that makes sense.


    You should see a therapist. There are short-term and long-term therapies available. Decide which one you want to do.
     

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