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Cap in a fine restaurant

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by jerrysfriend, Mar 8, 2005.

  1. ernest

    ernest Well-Known Member

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    Once summer evening I went in a bar with a guy i knew.

    He was tall and fat and was wearing black leather.

    The guard at the entry told him to put out his gloves inside.

    Strange?

    May be every restaurants should have a cap guard?
     
  2. VKK3450

    VKK3450 Well-Known Member

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    I've gotta quit partying so much on weekends...

    I have no clue what this means.

    K
     
  3. JBZ

    JBZ Well-Known Member

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    It was actually the signature restaurant at the Lodge at Koele on Lenai (I can't remember the name of the restaurant). Lenai is (I believe) the smallest of the Hawaiian islands and was once owned in its entirety by Dole. Most tourists who come there stay at either the Lodge or at another resort, Manele Bay. The resorts are inter-related (e.g. you can stay at the Lodge, but also charge lunches etc. at Manele to your room). I highly recommend going to Lenai for a couple of days if you ever visit Hawaii. Great golf and snorkling, and a host of other activities which you can do through the resorts (at a fairly steep price, but a vacation in Hawaii is hard to do on the cheap if you want to do it right).

    Jeff
     
  4. jerrysfriend

    jerrysfriend Well-Known Member

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    I have been put to the test. It has happened twice in the last three weeks.
    First, it was at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, Buckhead branch, Atlanta; about a $80/person restaurant. My wife, our friend, and I arrived 20 minutes early. They asked us to wait in the bar. While there, I saw a man in his late 50's wearing a cap. His party (6-7 people) got their table before we were called. Then, about 10 minutes later, we were told that our table was ready. I glanced in and saw that they were finishing setting up a table right next to the guy. He was still wearing the cap. I told the manager that I was not willing to sit next to the type of person who would wear a cap inside an expensive restaurant and that we would eat at a table in the bar, instead. He glanced in and said; "Oh." He then said that they had a "flexible" policy about caps. He said that if the man had gone straight into the dining room, he would have noticed him and asked him the remove the cap, but the man got around him by going to the bar first. He said it was too late now.  He also said the man had had some trouble getting there. His cab got lost. We ate in the bar. It was a great dinner.
    Then, last Saturday night was at Oceanaire Seafood Room in Atlanta, also about a $80/person restaurant. When we arrived, they led us to a booth next to a table were a man sat, wearing a cap. I asked for another table far away and got it. The manager came over and asked if we would prefer a booth, but when I told him about the cap, he said that that was the only booth, unless we wanted to wait a while. He also said that they tried to stop customers coming in who were wearing caps, but if they got by him, were seated and were there a while, he could do nothing.
    I suspect that both restaurants were trying to stop cap wearers at the door and offer them the choice of removing the cap or being denied a table, but if the customer somehow got in and seated with the cap, the places wanted to avoid the embarrassment of having to throw them out.
    A fair policy.
    The Oceanaire Seafood Room, where we are also regulars, had been unable to get us a reservation at our usual 8:00 time, so we had to come early. The manager said that would not happen again. He said that he had made reservations for us on every Saturday night at 8:00 for the next month and if we could not come for any, just cancel.
    That is service. I would like to think that we get such treatment due to my good looks, etc., but I think the fact that my wife and I are fairly well known as frequent dining companions of Atlanta's leading restaurant critic helps some.
     
  5. topcatny

    topcatny Well-Known Member

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    And because they know you will not wear a cap to dinner. [​IMG]
     
  6. Horace

    Horace Well-Known Member

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    Horrible. Things for keeping up the good fight.

    Once we are rid of those wearing head-gear, we then go after those not wearing coat & tie.
     
  7. LabelKing

    LabelKing Well-Known Member

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    All the diners should stare, and make furtive comments to make the wearer distinctly uncomfortable.
     
  8. Mike C.

    Mike C. Well-Known Member

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    I'm far from a stuffy person, however someone wearing a cap to dinner would piss me off as well.

    I refuse to dine with some of my best friends because they insist on leaving the table 2-3 times during the meal to go outside and smoke a ciggarette. How incredibly rude is that? I also cannot stand to dine with more than 5 people at a table. I notice when there are 6 or more, common ettiquette and manners go straight out the window.
     
  9. PHV

    PHV Well-Known Member

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    It's nice to know that you like food, but really, get over yourself.

    I'm sure chefs tremble when you walk in, with your elite food doyens and captains of industry forming your ominous possy of old world etiquette and values.

    This is America, where many different ideas exist. I don't agree with wearing a hat inside, I think it is boorish. However, even if I'm spending the national debt of Sudan, I don't demand to be sat at another table away from the plebians.

    For all the class and sophistication that you claim to have, you fall short in tolerance, another hallmark of the well raised. I cannot understand how a fairly intelligent individual is put off by something so insignificant. Yes, it is vulgar, but these are different times my friend.
     
  10. LabelKing

    LabelKing Well-Known Member

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    One used to be able to smoke in resturants.

    And fine ones at that.
     
  11. Brian SD

    Brian SD Well-Known Member

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    It would drive me nuts if people insisted on going outside for a smoke break. However, wearing a cap? I still insist that it's rediculous to care or be bothered by it. I can understand just telling your buddy to remove it, but does it REALLY detract from your dining experience to be sitting near someone wearing a hat? I'm glad that it doesn't for me.
     
  12. YMark

    YMark Well-Known Member

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    It's nice to know that you like food, but really, get over yourself. I'm sure chefs tremble when you walk in, with your elite food doyens and captains of industry forming your ominous possy of old world etiquette and values. This is America, where many different ideas exist. I don't agree with wearing a hat inside, I think it is boorish. However, even if I'm spending the national debt of Sudan, I don't demand to be sat at another table away from the plebians. For all the class and sophistication that you claim to have, you fall short in tolerance, another hallmark of the well raised. I cannot understand how a fairly intelligent individual is put off by something so insignificant. Yes, it is vulgar, but these are different times my friend.
    I agree. I can't stand caps in nice restaurants either, but you really should get over yourself. You sound like you'd be a great table mate yourself. [​IMG]
     
  13. Horace

    Horace Well-Known Member

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    Why should KP "get over" himself (whatever that trite phrase means). The problem is with the slob in the baseball cap.
     
  14. PHV

    PHV Well-Known Member

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    Yes, but there is quite a problem if you are so affected by it that you and your epicurean goons cannot possibly go on sitting beside that slob.

    If I found your wife ugly, or if you were well out of my tax bracket, I would hardly find it acceptable to ask to be moved to a different table. I know it's not the same thing, but really, if you're so damn sophisticated, use your sophistication to conjure up an image of a manificant souflee in the place of the cap wearing slob.

    No one is disputing that wearing a cap indoors is wrong. I just think that there is also something quite boorish about making a big issue about it. In the end you look like a pathetic drama queen with something to prove.
     
  15. Horace

    Horace Well-Known Member

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    Originally Posted by Horace,June 27 2005,21:32
    Why should KP "get over" himself (whatever that trite phrase means). Â The problem is with the slob in the baseball cap.
    Yes, but there is quite a problem if you are so affected by it that you and your epicurean goons cannot possibly go on sitting beside that slob. If I found your wife ugly, or if you were well out of my tax bracket, I would hardly find it acceptable to ask to be moved to a different table. I know it's not the same thing, but really, if you're so damn sophisticated, use your sophistication to conjure up an image of a manificant souflee in the place of the cap wearing slob. No one is disputing that wearing a cap indoors is wrong. I just think that there is also something quite boorish about making a big issue about it. In the end you look like a pathetic drama queen with something to prove.
    Epicurean isn't the word you're looking for. But KP didn't seem to make "big point" of it, nor was the behavior he described "boorish". Â He appears to have been discreet. Â Cap-wearing slobs shouldn't be allowed in the restaurant. edit: no one is claiming, except you, that this is a matter of "class" or "sophistication", but rather it's a matter of decency and decorum. If _not_ wearing a hat is sophisticated, then we've got a problem with what that concept means.
     
  16. nightowl6261a

    nightowl6261a Well-Known Member

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    I must say, after sitting here for many tolerable minutes reading this elaborate display of mannerisms do's and don't, which by the way, I personally could care less about whether or not the man next to me has good/bad etiquette.....the above statement must be one of the rudest most outrageously stupid comments from a member placing a direct attack on a gentleman I happen to know over his right to a dining experience.
    I certainly do not defend any one persons particular quirkiness, however, in an upstanding fine restaurant or any other environment for that manner which a person should conduct himself/herself with a touch of class, should we not agree that part of the experience lies within the overall atmosphere as well.
    I will say, if dining with Jerry, and we were to be seated next to a man wearing a hat, and this bothered him, if he were to ask to be seated in another place, I would not personally hesitate to agree. The whole reason for going into a fine restaurant is not completely the food, but the overall ambience.
    It is not that the chefs tremble at his footsteps, but more, they appreciate the patronage and the referrals from a man that has extremely good taste in fine wine, food, and hopefully company, which I have no doubt.
    IMO, it is this statement from the NEW age adults that is putting a ruin to this fine place we call home.
    If the younger people of today's world would learn from the higher etiquette standards of the past, we could gain some respectability around the world. But Americans are viewed as boorish disgusting people in many places because of the lack of class in many an upbringing.
    As I said, I personally would not take offense to a man wearing a hat in any restaurant, I would laugh aloud, not because I am rude, but more because of the fact that his parents did not have the decency to raise him to know better.
    Now that said, I have dined with Jerry, on more than one occasion, and his taste in restaurants and fine wine is only out-weighed by his class and thoughtfulness, so if this man does not want to be seated next to someone who has relatively low class and selesteem, and prefers to enjoy the atmosphere and experience of an upperclass quality restaurant, then I say, grab hold of your ominous old world etiquette and values and Michelle and I will be more than happy to join you again.
     
  17. Cliff

    Cliff Well-Known Member

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    Well said Nightowl .
     
  18. ATM

    ATM Well-Known Member

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    Detroit suburbs
    I'm not going to pick a side in this argument but it reminds me of this scene from the Blues Brothers:

    Customer: Waiter. Sir. Please, waiter.
    Mr Fabulous: Yes sir. How are your salads?
    Customer:The salads are fine. It's just that, we'd.. we'd like to move to another table, away from those two gentlemen.
    Mr Fabulous: Why? Have they been disturbing you?
    Customer: No. It's just that.. well frankly, they're offensive. Smelling. I mean they smell bad.
    Mr Fabulous: Excuse me sir, I'll see if I can locate another table for you.
    Customer: Thank you.

    Hope that helps lighten the mood.
     
  19. PHV

    PHV Well-Known Member

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    PHV,June 27 2005,21:03 It's nice to know that you like food, but really, get over yourself.
    I must say, after sitting here for many tolerable minutes reading this elaborate display of mannerisms do's and don't, which by the way, I personally could care less about whether or not the man next to me has good/bad etiquette.....the above statement must be one of the rudest most outrageously stupid comments from a member placing a direct attack on a gentleman I happen to know over his right to a dining experience. I certainly do not defend any one persons particular quirkiness, however, in an upstanding fine restaurant or any other environment for that manner which a person should conduct himself/herself with a touch of class, should we not agree that part of the experience lies within the overall atmosphere as well. I will say, if dining with Jerry, and we were to be seated next to a man wearing a hat, and this bothered him, if he were to ask to be seated in another place, I would not personally hesitate to agree. The whole reason for going into a fine restaurant is not completely the food, but the overall ambience. It is not that the chefs tremble at his footsteps, but more, they appreciate the patronage and the referrals from a man that has extremely good taste in fine wine, food, and hopefully company, which I have no doubt. IMO, it is this statement from the NEW age adults that is putting a ruin to this fine place we call home.
    If the younger people of today's world would learn from the higher etiquette standards of the past, we could gain some respectability around the world. But Americans are viewed as boorish disgusting people in many places because of the lack of class in many an upbringing. As I said, I personally would not take offense to a man wearing a hat in any restaurant, I would laugh aloud, not because I am rude, but more because of the fact that his parents did not have the decency to raise him to know better. Now that said, I have dined with Jerry, on more than one occasion, and his taste in restaurants and fine wine is only out-weighed by his class and thoughtfulness, so if this man does not want to be seated next to someone who has relatively low class and selesteem, and prefers to enjoy the atmosphere and experience of an upperclass quality restaurant, then I say, grab hold of your ominous old world etiquette and values and Michelle and I will be more than happy to join you again.
    There is nothing new age about me, save for my actual age. Again, I very much hold onto the values that were taught to me by my parents, who came from a background that discretely judged a person's character based on their social graces and table etiquette. At the same time, I am also aware of the changing times in which such values are becoming antiquated. Instead of kicking and screaming about the whole thing, I am slowly realizing that you cannot hold others to that standard as was once expected in fine restaurants. The best you can do is to conduct yourself in the manner which you were taught, do it quietly and gracefully, and if there is a horde of barbarians, continue on in your quiet way. If there is a man in a ball cap next to me, I'd definately make a joke to whoever is at my table. However, I usually have enough confidence in the company I keep to engage my mind to a degree that a man in a ball cap will not disturb me enough to ruin a beautiful atmosphere. If the table is excessively loud, then I definately would do something, as I did once at a new trendy place in Montreal. I was out with my mother and a friend of mine. They were cursing and being total jackasses. If it had been just my friend and I, I'd probably forget it. But since my mother was being subjected to half the sailor's dictionary, and even against her urging that she was not bothered, I got up and asked that they move them, or remove them. The manager obviously got the people out of there. I don't disagree with the values being spoken of here. I simply think that we have to get over some of the mannerisms that perhaps are not relavant anymore. Don't ever spout that new age BS on me. I am a violinist, and am studying to do that on a high level. The music I play is sometimes 400 years old, and the level of decorum and protocol adhered to in this art is staggering. What we are realizing, is that audiences are changing, and thus so must we. Of course I'd like to play an all Ysaye program, but most people will be bored out of their minds by the time I start the Obsession. I understand, but I have to respectfully disagree.
     
  20. globetrotter

    globetrotter Well-Known Member

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    I have to say here that I agree with P - I might find it mildly offensive to see somebody wearing a cap in a resteraunt, but as long as he isn't loud or smelly, I am not going to let it bother my meal. sure, I might find pleasure in having some very nicely dressed people in my line of sight while eating, and perhaps it will give me displeasure to have unatractive or poorly dressed people in my line of site, but I won't let the boorishness of somebody away from my table ruin meals for me on a regular basis.

    life is to short to let these things get your pants in a twist. I mean no distrespect to Jerry'sfriend in saying this, but I honestly believe that a gentleman should be able to get by this type of discomfort without letting it ruin his day.
     

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