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Aggressive tatics to shut down a passive-aggressive co-worker?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Shoe City Thinker, Jun 24, 2010.

  1. Shoe City Thinker

    Shoe City Thinker Well-Known Member

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    I have a bitch on wheels co-worker that is constantly criticizing me by e-mail on how ineffective and incompetent I am. The inconvenient truth is that my IT training and experience outstrips hers. We clearly have a case were this bitch is insecure and is engaging in aggressive tactics to undermine me. She habitually over-reacts to situations. When she over-reacts she'll CC and blind CC every person that makes up her "allies" then she'll assail my character publicly.

    The last incident was when I was working on bringing a set of data center documentation current. I had e-mailed a "first pass" copy of the spreadsheet with the caveat that it was a first pass document and the reason why it was being distributed was so that key team members can have access to the info they need. She freaked out and flamed me for producing a product that "made everyone look bad by sending out an incomplete documentation". The point of a first pass is to get any sort of semi-current documentation in the hands of the consultants that will be working on this project, It will be perfect once I fill in the gaps after I get the feedback I was expecting to get back. But ooohhhh noooo!!!! I fucked everyone up and made everyone look like doucebags according to her.

    Did I mention that she's a mean, angry, spiteful bitch?? Nothing I do is good enough for her. Her mission is to get me thrown to the curb because she or her best friend the former CTO can do the job better than me.

    She's established a pattern of trying to throw me under the bus and undermine my success at this company. I need to protect myself from her but don't know what the best way to do this without engaging in Bastard Operator from Hell tactics. I could use some advice.
     
  2. CrocsRock

    CrocsRock Well-Known Member

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    Victoria, BC
    Fight passive-aggressiveness with passive-aggressiveness.

    Reply all, quote the part where you state it's a first pass draft and are sending it out merely to provide the others with the information (and only sending it to team members I'm guessing), then reply with 'Any other questions?'

    Or jam a golf ball in her exhaust. Whichever works.
     
  3. Joffrey

    Joffrey Well-Known Member

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    Quit copying her on your emails. Just cut her out of the loop. She has a problem with that, she'll bitch at you. Then you act like a man, and school her on why she was cut out of it.
     
  4. Shoe City Thinker

    Shoe City Thinker Well-Known Member

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    I'm going to write a bot that searches for her cache of tranny pr0n then report her to HR.
     
  5. Mark it 8

    Mark it 8 Well-Known Member

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    Start to lay the groundwork for how she disrupts the team atmosphere. Build the story slowly and keep pointing it out. Eventually, it will be accepted as fact. Then use it as a reason to cut her out of the loop.
     
  6. SField

    SField Well-Known Member

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    The only way to truly deal with it in a professional way is stating facts. On this forum, as I'm sure you've seen me and others do, it's possible to effectively assassinate someone's character in a funny way but obviously that isn't going to work in a work environment.

    Facts can be devastating, so if she has her facts wrong, in as few words as possible, enumerate (make a numbered list) where she has it wrong. Be very direct and be just on the very brink of condescension. Embarrass her, and it should be fine.

    Quoting what she says, then quoting your own work and putting them next to each other can be extremely damning. Sometimes, you won't have to do anything besides this. Be factual and rub her face in it.
     
  7. willpower

    willpower Well-Known Member

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    Just confront her every time she does it. Make it so uncomfortable for her that she'll stop just to avoid the grief. Be relentless, but do not break any rules or do anything malicious.
     
  8. Mr Herbert

    Mr Herbert Well-Known Member

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    Quit copying her on your emails. Just cut her out of the loop. She has a problem with that, she'll bitch at you. Then you act like a man, and school her on why she was cut out of it.

    this is probably the least confrontational way about it.
     
  9. Mr Herbert

    Mr Herbert Well-Known Member

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    by the way, is this behaviour actually technically 'passive aggressive' ... i always hear this term misused.

    im not sure her resistance is that passive, emails are fairly direct and long lasting form of resistance. i think she is just plain aggressive.
     
  10. Milpool

    Milpool Well-Known Member

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    Have you tried talking to her?
     
  11. taxgenius

    taxgenius Well-Known Member

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    Is she overweight? Serious question.
     
  12. CityHunter

    CityHunter Well-Known Member

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    The only way to truly deal with it in a professional way is stating facts. On this forum, as I'm sure you've seen me and others do, it's possible to effectively assassinate someone's character in a funny way but obviously that isn't going to work in a work environment.

    Facts can be devastating, so if she has her facts wrong, in as few words as possible, enumerate (make a numbered list) where she has it wrong. Be very direct and be just on the very brink of condescension. Embarrass her, and it should be fine.

    Quoting what she says, then quoting your own work and putting them next to each other can be extremely damning. Sometimes, you won't have to do anything besides this. Be factual and rub her face in it.


    +1
     
  13. CityHunter

    CityHunter Well-Known Member

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    I have an extremely similar situation to yours currently...fortunately for me, she is a step below me so you can say I outrank her and everybody knows that she is crazy. I guess it makes it that much easier to "school" her.

    Sorry for you though...a hostile work environment is difficult. It's not like you can take it to the streets or anything. OR CAN YOU [​IMG]
     
  14. Fuuma

    Fuuma Well-Known Member

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  15. celery

    celery Well-Known Member

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    I dunno Shoe City Thinker, looks like you didn't get the answer you wanted in your first thread:
    http://www.styleforum.net/showthread.php?t=186579

    The only sure fire method to "winning" at work, is to do better work, do it faster, and take on additional responsibilities to gain respect and attention of higher-ups. The more you fight against this co-worker, the harder she'll push back.
     
  16. Bhowie

    Bhowie Well-Known Member

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    Running the trap house.
    Talk to her.

    So beta
     
  17. celery

    celery Well-Known Member

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    So beta

    [​IMG]
     
  18. SField

    SField Well-Known Member

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    Is she overweight? Serious question.

    Do you even have to ask that? Of course she is.
     
  19. LordWanker

    LordWanker Well-Known Member

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    Well if your IT experience is as you claim it to be, then no worries non?
    Let her be the drama queen ( with a paper trail of course ) and let her make her own noose, so to speak.
     
  20. mondayc

    mondayc Well-Known Member

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    Let her be the office shit-stirrer while you get stuff done. Someone is sure to notice.
    Being passive aggressive back would help too. I would have just replied "That's why I said it's a first pass."
     

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