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Do you enjoy being married? - Page 6

post #76 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiecollector View Post
People who are happy rarely go on about how happy they are. People who are unhappy will often let you know about it though.

I can't wait to get married. I'd recommend waiting until about 27 before doing so. After you've met so many people and had some many casual relationships through acquaintances, work, etc. It's pretty amazing to have one person you can always go back to that you can love and trust. In the end you're wife will be your best friend, not every moment needs to be out of a cheesy movie.

Don't rush into it but that is all relative. When you aren't wondering how your life could be different you'll know you're ready.

Nothing is perfect. Your friends, your parents, whoever, you'll always argue with them sometimes and things won't always be a bed of roses with your wife. Marriage is hard work but so is life! I heard about a study on the radio where it said kids who witnessed their parents arguing had a much lower divorce rate, makes sense to me.

There's also a statistic that says that kids with divorced parents are more likely to get divorced themselves.
post #77 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spirit of 69 View Post
No, I don't enjoy being married. Probably becasue I've been married so long, 24 years!

Then you married the wrong person. My parents have been married for 29 years and are the most deeply in love, romantic, and connected couple I've ever seen in my life.
post #78 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by voxsartoria View Post
The brain doesn't fully mature until the mid-20s. Cognition matures much earlier, but various aspects involving reality assessement do not complete their physiological development until later.

I can actually feel the reality assessment kicking in as we speak.
post #79 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
Then you married the wrong person. My parents have been married for 29 years and are the most deeply in love, romantic, and connected couple I've ever seen in my life.

+1
post #80 of 196
Pure bliss.
post #81 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post
hope you being sincere not snarky. because your avatar is so scary.

No, genuine. I had a different avatar picked, of a hamster chopping up a carrot, but it was too big and this was the only other avatar-sized pic I had on hand.

I don't think there's anything you can be snarky about against someone who is happily married. They're happy and they get tax breaks, the best of both worlds!
post #82 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Étienne View Post
A famous exception is Caesar.

There's more no doubt, and I'm not sure which Caesar you're referring to. But it seems to hold, that by and large, that moment when lightening strikes for the first time, tends to happen prior to 30. I guess that's why I'm stuck as a HIWS. I bloomed late.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Étienne View Post
I am pretty surprised by how many people in this thread equate a stable long-term relationship with the legal and social institution of marriage. You don't need the latter to have the former.

Agreed. We lived together for years, and might well end up divorcing at some point, depending on how the tax code goes. Being married does give certain legal benefits though, such as not triggering a taxable event at the death of the first party.
post #83 of 196
Thread Starter 
this is a quality thread. thankyou, gents
post #84 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post
There's more no doubt, and I'm not sure which Caesar you're referring to. But it seems to hold, that by and large, that moment when lightening strikes for the first time, tends to happen prior to 30. I guess that's why I'm stuck as a HIWS. I bloomed late.



Agreed. We lived together for years, and might well end up divorcing at some point, depending on how the tax code goes. Being married does give certain legal benefits though, such as not triggering a taxable event at the death of the first party.

post #85 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoJohn View Post
this is a quality thread. thankyou, gents

+1
post #86 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fabienne View Post
Pure bliss.

Salut Fabienne! Long time no see

I love my wife and kids and can't imagine what I'd do without them (well maybe I can and it ain't pretty).

So here are some of the benefits of marriage according to research that is highlighted in a book called: The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially

Better Financial Picture

The old saying "Two can live as cheaply as one" isn't exactly true. Two do appear to be able to live as cheaply as one and a half persons, though. That means sharing furniture, food, insurance benefits, a car, etc…. And, when one person becomes ill, loses his or her job, or needs emotional support due to stressors, the spouse is there to help. This is cheaper too, as in home nurses, credit card debt, and therapists cost more.

Married men are more successful in work as well, getting promoted more often and receiving higher performance appraisals. They also miss work or arrive late less often (Kostiuk and Follman, 1989, and Shaw, 1987). As for women, white married women (without children) earn 4% more and black married women earn 10% more than their single peers (Waite, 1995). While some point out that house work for married women (37 hours per week) is greater than that of single women (25 hours), half of that is due to having children (South and Spitze, 1994).

Longer Life

Married people live longer as well. Single men have mortality rates that are 250% higher than married men. Single women have mortality rates that are 50% higher than married women (Ross et all, 1990). Having a spouse can decrease your risk for dying from cancer as much as knocking ten years off your life. Single people spend longer in the hospital, and have a greater risk of dying after surgery (Goodwin et al, 1987).

Married women are 30% more likely to rate their health as excellent or very good compared to single women, and 40% less likely to rate their health as only fair or poor compared to single women. Based on life expectancies, nine of ten married men and women alive at age 48 are alive at 65, while only six of ten single men and eight of ten single women make it to 65. Married men may have better immune systems as well, either from support or from nagging to monitor blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, etc… and may be at less risk to catch colds (Cohen et al, 1997)

Better Mental Health

Married men are half as likely to commit suicide as single men, and one third as likely as divorced men. Widowed men under 45 are nine times more likely to commit suicide as married men (Smith, Mercy, and Conn, 1988). Married people report lower levels of depression and distress, and 40% say they are very happy with their lives, compared to about 25% in single people. Married people were half as likely to say they were unhappy with their lives.

Single men drink twice as much as married men, and one out of four say their drinking causes problems. Only one of seven married men says the same. One out of six single men abstains from alcohol, but one in four married men do (Miller-Tutzauer et al, 1991).

Better Sex

About 40% of married people have sex twice a week, compared to 20-25% of single and cohabitating men and women. Over 40% of married women said their sex life was emotionally and physically satisfying, compared to about 30% of single women. For men, it's 50% of married men are physically and emotionally contents versus 38% of cohabitating men.
post #87 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manton View Post
This says something deep about you.

My uncle never got married because "marriage is a bourgeois" institution, if you knew him or his lifestyle you'd choke on your food if he announced that at the dinner table, ready to argue with anyone who thinks he's being an idiot, including his "girlfriend" of something like 25 yrs.
post #88 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemagic View Post
I can actually feel the reality assessment kicking in as we speak.

Nah that's you unrealistically thinking you can assess reality.
post #89 of 196
I'm a bit to young to be considering marriage (24) but i worked with a few older guys who were not married, and never were. One in particular was extremely depressed, drank enourmous amount of alcohol every night by himself after breaking up with a girl he dated for 6 months (she left).

Another is no doubt one of the most selfish people i've ever met, in his early 40's never married, but has been with one girl for about 15 years.

At the same job i was good friends (still am, but havent talked to him in a while) with a guy who was in his early 30's and married about 8 years, who no doubt was having more sex then most everyone who was 'successfully single' was claiming.

For me to get married i would want to date the person for a few years, maybe live together for a few years, and get to the point where you feel like you're seeing that true person.

The single people in my experience, we all pretty unhappy.
post #90 of 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustinW View Post
Took me 38 years to find the right woman, but I did and will be married next month - wish me luck!
Congrats and good luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage Gent View Post
I definitely enjoy being married, as it affords one the piece of mind to know that, if the cops are looking for patsy to hang a trumped-up charge on, you have a built-in alibi.

Assuming you remembered to take the garbage out that week.


This thread evokes fond memories of vanity worrying about whether he'd still get oral sex if he got married.
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