Do you enjoy being married? - Page 4

No, that's not what I was suggesting. I am not a big fan of marriage counselors.

It's just that I spent several years in a marriage that started out wonderfully, but regressed to "roommate" status and then to dissolution. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'd rather be divorced than repeat that experience, as would, I'm sure, my ex-wife.

def +1 here.

Sadly, this is what I suspect for a lot of people. My friend, who was madly in love with his girl and they got married about 4 years ago, is always annoyed at her these days, and always sneaking away to look at porn. When I ask him, he would never admit to making a mistake, in general I believe married couples think it is better to pretend everything is great, until that point they decide they would prefer a divorce. Especially if kids are involved.

Thoughts?

It is very difficult to pretend things are okay when your heart and soul are hurting.

The problem for me was that when I graduated college my future wife wasn't born yet.

My response wasn't referring to you. But, when people asked you, you never responded that "everything is great" during the decline of the marriage?

^no, I didn't

we really never fight, or so seldom that it would be hard to quantify it - a couple of times a year? probrably less. the sex isn't as frequent as I'd like, but aside from that really it couldn't be better. I really feel badly for people who are misrable in their family life.

Divorced now, but it was good while it lasted. Make sure to choose wisely. The divorce experience is enough to make you hate all women.

Neither was mine...

Thats a relatively deep, yet tongue-in-cheek comment, but I was being serious.

I did while it lasted. Well, at least I thought so. Wait. Actually I am not that sure

I'm only 26 but I don't think I could ever enjoy being married. If you are in love with someone you're dating thats fantastic; you spend time with them on your own volition and enjoy it. If you didn't enjoy it you would stop dating. When you get married you become legally obliged to spend time with someone. All of the sudden it goes from something that you willing do to something that you have to do (even if you coincidentally enjoy it). Not to mention the financial obligation that having a bunch of kids brings. I'd rather have the option to retire early and spend my time doing things I wanted to do - rather than sitting at some job that I hate, reading internet boards all day just so I can pay for tuitions rather than beefing-up my portfolio.

I used to date a lot of girls when I was in college. I've had sex with many more women than most. I was even in love once. But I don't even try to chase skirt, let alone steadily date anyone anymore. Every girl my age just wants to get married anyhow so I see no utility in dating. And sport fucking requires effort and an appetite for risk that I don't have. All of these crazy ideas of mine male sense every time I hang-put with the girl I was once in love with (still friends). I still think she is a good kid, but the thought of being stuck with her for the rest of my life (as I once would have gladly signed-up for) makes me shudder.

Stay single. Do the things that YOU want to do. Spend your money the way that YOU want to spend it. If you are too horny to not always have someone around then go to the bar and get a mistress. Just make sure she doesn't force you into some kind of blind servitude, catering to her whims, compromising your own ideas and wants. Life is short - why waste it currying someone else's favor?

^obviously haven't made it all the way through Maslow, huh?

So essentially your life is about nothing but sex?