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Funniest things you have over heard at the urinal?

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
Conversation at the urinals is always a touchy subject, but I have to say occasionally some one says something that is rather funny. The two best lines I have heard:

Said by a drunk guy as he looks over to another guy:

“What do you feed that beast?”

Said on a very cold day in a very cold washroom as he struggled to find his equipment:

“Where the hell is that little bugger?”
post #2 of 24
Maybe not funny, as much as disturbing. . .

1) One night I'm at a bar near a college. I was wearing a sweater over an OCBD as I had been at work before heading out to dinner and to the bars with friends. A very young and drunk college guy at the urinal next to me started singing.... about my sweater.

I don't recall the whole song but it was something like "hey there sweater man, that's a really nice sweater man, is it cashmere or is it wool, maybe no one knows, hey sweater man, i know you can hear me damnit"

2) When I was in college, I was on a road trip with some of my friends to go climbing. We stopped at a highway rest stop. Naturally, we did the one urinal spacing between each of us. A very large trucker came in, went right to the urinal between my friend and I, and started moaning. Then he looked over at me and started smiling. Then at my friend and started smiling. I was frightened. Climbing areas tend to be in deliverance type settings at times.
post #3 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milhouse View Post
I don't recall the whole song but it was something like "hey there sweater man, that's a really nice sweater man, is it cashmere or is it wool, maybe no one knows, hey sweater man, i know you can hear me damnit"

Thats pretty funny.

I prefer to go up to the urinal and say, "So this is where all the dicks hang out huh?"
post #4 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milhouse View Post
Maybe not funny, as much as disturbing. . .
2) When I was in college, I was on a road trip with some of my friends to go climbing. We stopped at a highway rest stop. Naturally, we did the one urinal spacing between each of us. A very large trucker came in, went right to the urinal between my friend and I, and started moaning. Then he looked over at me and started smiling. Then at my friend and started smiling. I was frightened. Climbing areas tend to be in deliverance type settings at times.


What is the deal with the guys that moan at the urinal anyways - are they passing a kindey ston eor something?
post #5 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeffsWood View Post
What is the deal with the guys that moan at the urinal anyways - are they passing a kindey ston eor something?
I don't understand this moaning thing. I've heard it a time or two, makes me uncomfortable so I finish up quickly and get the heck out.
post #6 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milhouse View Post
Maybe not funny, as much as disturbing. . .

2) When I was in college, I was on a road trip with some of my friends to go climbing. We stopped at a highway rest stop. Naturally, we did the one urinal spacing between each of us. A very large trucker came in, went right to the urinal between my friend and I, and started moaning. Then he looked over at me and started smiling. Then at my friend and started smiling. I was frightened. Climbing areas tend to be in deliverance type settings at times.

With friends I refuse to observe the "one unrinal" spacing rule. I get right next to them, cast a side long glance, and then say something like "Nice watch!", or "Is that ring white gold or platinum?". My friends know my sense of humor so they usually roll with it and continue the conversation. The look of shock/horror from the other men in the restroom is the only reinforcement I need to continue this behavior
post #7 of 24
Ahhhhhhhhh My Dick Feel Good
post #8 of 24
I'm too bladder-shy to piss in urinals when others are present. I generally go straight for the stall.
post #9 of 24


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post #10 of 24
A friend once asked me in a very serious tone when we were using two adjacent urinals if my appendage flips inside out when I run. It caught me off guard. I told him no, and he was quick to respond, "well... uhm... neither does mine!" and quickly zipped up and washed his hands. I never dared to mention it again for fear that he actually has this problem.
post #11 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by StopPolloition View Post
A friend once asked me in a very serious tone when we were using two adjacent urinals if my appendage flips inside out when I run. It caught me off guard. I told him no, and he was quick to respond, "well... uhm... neither does mine!" and quickly zipped up and washed his hands. I never dared to mention it again for fear that he actually has this problem.

inside...out?
post #12 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tokyo Slim View Post
inside...out?

Sorry, I think his exact words were "Does your dick ever shrink back inside you when you run? No? Oh... well neither does mine."

I guess inside out wasn't the right way to convey that. Man, that would be weird. Even weirder than if it shrank and turned into an innie.
post #13 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StopPolloition View Post
Sorry, I think his exact words were "Does your dick ever shrink back inside you when you run? No? Oh... well neither does mine."

I guess inside out wasn't the right way to convey that. Man, that would be weird. Even weirder than if it shrank and turned into an innie.


I remember once reading that sumo wrestler are able to get their testicals to retreat back into their body. A fast google search came back with some results that this does/can happen.

http://www.japanprobe.com/?p=1107
post #14 of 24
Not exactly AT the urinal, but close enough.

Me: Loud and Obnoxious 'FART' inside a stall

Unknown Man at urinal: ..........Niiiiiiiiice.

He then promptly left without washing his hands. I was laughing inside the stall.
post #15 of 24
Far too drunk to remember anything, but I'm sure it was hilarious at the time.
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