I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

[ghostbusters101]

Thanks everyone for the affirmation. I definitely noticed a correlation between her reaching out and the amount of wall posts on fb I got from other girls, Ha. Learned from my own mistake that the love declarations just push them away. I was very surprised how well doing the exact opposite works.

 

[indesertum]

Originally Posted by longskate88

Answer the door all sweaty, wrapped in a girl, and yell back to your bedroom "Hold that position, be back in a second babes!"

fixed

 

[mkarim]

Originally Posted by ghostbusters101

Thanks everyone for the affirmation. I definitely noticed a correlation between her reaching out and the amount of wall posts on fb I got from other girls, Ha. Learned from my own mistake that the love declarations just push them away. I was very surprised how well doing the exact opposite works.
Yes. Never take advice about what women want from the media, relationship books/magazines or women themselves. They will tell you the complete opposite.

 

[Matt]

Originally Posted by mkarim

Yes. Never take advice about what women want from the media, relationship books/magazines or women themselves. They will tell you the complete opposite.
I have a bad habit of getting lured into the 'women as friends' argument from these positions, so I will simply plus one this and say nothing more on the topic. ghostbuster - as you have apparently noticed, there is a direct correlation between how much you act like you don't need her, and how much she realises she needs you. Rookie mistake: don't go bragging about other women or anything. Leave anything like that unsaid. Her own head will do the damage. BTW, you should work out if you actually DO want her back, or just enjoy torturing her a bit. Nothing wrong with that, suspect she's put you through a bit of it, and it feels good to be driving again. Understandable. Anyhow, just be noncommittal with it all. Confident, but noncommittal. If she pours her heart out, say things like 'aww, that's really sweet of you to say' and then leave it hanging.

 

[Prada_Ferragamo]

Originally Posted by longskate88

Answer the door all sweaty, wrapped in a towel, and yell back to your bedroom "Hold that position, be back in a second babe!"

Originally Posted by indesertum

fixed

hahaha.

 

[ghostbusters101]

For sure I would never mention hooking up with other girls. Here's another question. At what point do I push too much and essentially force her to get over me?

Disclaimer: not being emo about this at all. I'm done with that stage. That being said, I could genuinely see myself marrying this girl one day so I want to do it right.

 

[hendrix]

just a word of warning: Make sure you really, really do want to get back together with her and there's no element of wanting to prove that you're the **** or whatever to yourself.

 

[Matt]

if you want her to get over you and move on, then just be polite and let it drift dude. You are already apart, there is no need for a zillion and three heart to hearts to reinforce that. Just live your lives. Separately.

If you want her back, grab her back. There is no middle ground.

But...since you are - by your own admission, a young 'un, I'd suggest just letting it head on its way...if I married every girl I swore I would be with forever when I was south of 22...I'd be on my 14th divorce by now.

 

[ghostbusters101]

Originally Posted by Matt

But...since you are - by your own admission, a young 'un, I'd suggest just letting it head on its way...if I married every girl I swore I would be with forever when I was south of 22...I'd be on my 14th divorce by now.


Word. I am north of 22 though. Some things to think about thanks for the input fellas.

 

[zissou]

I think I'm beginning to realize that the difficult times with my recent ex gf outnumbered the really nice times by quite a bit. This definitely helps.

 

[ghostbusters101]

Update: Just got off the phone with her. She said she misses me and wants to give it another go when her lease is up in July. I was all like whatever. Jk I said "yeah we can talk about it when the time comes." So overall a success.

 

[Stazy]

Originally Posted by zissou

I think I'm beginning to realize that the difficult times with my recent ex gf outnumbered the really nice times by quite a bit. This definitely helps.
+1. It's amazing how you tend to overlook/justify stupid **** when you're in the relationship and it's not until it's over that you wake up. Its been one month since my ex and I ended things and I've moved on really quickly. I was expecting to be emo for months over the break up but that hasn't been the case. I miss being in a relationship but I don't miss her.

 

[HgaleK]

Originally Posted by Stazy

+1. It's amazing how you tend to overlook/justify stupid **** when you're in the relationship and it's not until it's over that you wake up.

Its been one month since my ex and I ended things and I've moved on really quickly. I was expecting to be emo for months over the break up but that hasn't been the case. I miss being in a relationship but I don't miss her.

Yeah- I went through the same thing after 1.5 years with my ex (minus the emo part). You quit noticing when certain things become status quo.

 

[Nil]

Originally Posted by Stazy

+1. It's amazing how you tend to overlook/justify stupid **** when you're in the relationship and it's not until it's over that you wake up.

I have the exact opposite reaction in relationships; I'm way too quick to jettison a girlfriend if we're having difficulties even if they're brief and relatively inconsequential. I've definitely blindsided more than one girl with a breakup.

 

[mkarim]

Originally Posted by Nil

I have the exact opposite reaction in relationships; I'm way too quick to jettison a girlfriend if we're having difficulties even if they're brief and relatively inconsequential. I've definitely blindsided more than one girl with a breakup.

Yes. Me too. Most expect to dump the guy first.