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I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread) - Page 225

post #3361 of 3570
It's just hard to know which problem is the straw that breaks the camels back if you don't know if or when its back is broken
post #3362 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by indesertum View Post

It's just hard to know which problem is the straw that breaks the camels back if you don't know if or when its back is broken

And do not forget we're most of the time the last one to realize the back had been broken for quite a while..
post #3363 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by indesertum View Post

You're married right? I'm sure you've had a lot of fights with your gf before you married. How'd you deal with it and how'd you decide whether it was worth it to keep going?

Not married but been in a relationship for a good amount of time, so take this with whatever grain of salt you want
Deal with it: Waited until both people cooled down and then went back and talked about it. Petty squabbling and arguing just builds on itself, and it's really counterproductive to keep arguing about things that aren't relevant. It's a lot easier to approach it a little later and go "So what was that about?" The more you communicate beforehand the less I've encountered problems in relationships. So if she's doing something major that bugs you, gently tell her, instead of letting it fester. And be receptive to her doing the same thing. Nipping things before they become huge issues is probably the biggest reason I'm still with my gf compared to previous ones. Obviously it's not always doable, which is why you need to be able to do both.
Keep going: How regular a thing is it? Are you BOTH making effort to keep it from happening again? Is she actually sorry for blowing up at you? (You don't need to answer, just think about it)
post #3364 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by lasbar View Post

It is always difficult to start with for mainly ego reason...
She might have been emotinally disturbed by the all relationship thing being new to it..
Coming from a strict background , she also might dreamt of the mirage called perfect relationship and found the reality of it difficult to bear...
The question of sexual intimacy might have spooked her a little bit.
I think you still like/love her maybe for the wrong reasons.

By your phrase "difficult to start," do you mean that of a relationship, or were you implying on the recovery of a break up?

And, indeed I find myself missing her. More so than when we were actually dating. It seems like that's the way it goes for me. With that aside, you commented on me still like/love her, but for wrong reasons. I do not wish to disagree nor will I be willingly to agree. Reason being that I myself is surrounded by such entity, that I am unable to see things with a correct vision, unlike a spectator standing from afar. I beg to wish to hear your rationale as I am curious, I believe it may help me a tremendous amount.
post #3365 of 3570
Kind of feel like i'm slowly falling out of love with my girlfriend, and in some ways I feel like i'm not even attracted to her anymore at times.

It's odd, kind of just cropped up out of the blue. I think she can tell, she told me she feels that i'm being distant and dismissive.

I don't want to make a rash decision, because she still is one of the most important people in my life, and she's stuck by/with me through some very trying times of mine. It's just kind of scary to me, because we are pretty much set on moving to another state together in the New Year. Maybe the feeling that i'm so committed caused this reaction.

In the entire time i've been with her, counting times when we've been on and off again, it's been like 3 years. In that time i've never once felt compelled to cheat. During breaks, or when we're off i've seen other woman, slept with them too (one of these woman became infamous due to a certain thread, i'm sure you all know) But yeah, when we're actually on and going, I have had no desire to be with other woman. I used to think she was godly in her beauty, but lately i'm seeing imperfections i've never noticed.

It's difficult to deal with emotionally, after all is said and done I can honestly say this girl is my best friend, and my everything...but a relationship can't survive on my hoping the spark will be reignited and all will be well.

She went on a mini vacay with her sister for a week, which is nice, because it gives me the space I wanted, without having to ask for it.

Any advice?
post #3366 of 3570
^ We all have those moments of boredom in a relationship. It's a simple matter of spicing things up. Do something spontaneous when she gets back. Go mountain climbing. Take a cooking class. Invite another man into the bedroom. I'm just spitballing here but you get the idea.
post #3367 of 3570
Eh....
post #3368 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7 View Post

^ We all have those moments of boredom in a relationship. It's a simple matter of spicing things up. Do something spontaneous when she gets back. Go mountain climbing. Take a cooking class. Invite another man into the bedroom. I'm just spitballing here but you get the idea.

How many days lasted your longest relationship?biggrin.gif

Boredom is part of every long term relationship...

It is actually the ultimate test if you're ready to settle down with someone..

If you can still be happy doing nothing in the company of your partner, it is a good sign you're really made for each others.
post #3369 of 3570
One of the issues you're facing is called the Coolidge effect. Look a bit in to the behavior of pair bonding mammals, and the ways that various hormones and neurotransmitters jack with their behavior. The long and short of the solution is to stop looking at porn, stop fapping, reduce the frequency of goal oriented sex, and don't finish more than a few times a month.
post #3370 of 3570
Hahaha, elaborate please.
post #3371 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post

Hahaha, elaborate please.

Just give it a shot if you're too lazy to google. It'll turn your slimjim in to a bone hammer, make just about anything with a vagina look more attractive, and make it a lot easier to connect to your girlfriend emotionally. It should take less than a couple of weeks before you feel the distance start to close.
post #3372 of 3570
I'm actually having problems of my own. How do you guys handle a chick that always makes it about her? Only watching the stuff she wants to watch, only sexing when she feels like sexing, etc.

Do you work at it or ditch any and all efforts entirely?
post #3373 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7 View Post

I'm actually having problems of my own. How do you guys handle a chick that always makes it about her? Only watching the stuff she wants to watch, only sexing when she feels like sexing, etc.
Do you work at it or ditch any and all efforts entirely?

Everyone knows that women are turned off by men who aren't alfas. When she says no, I tell her that it's opposite day, pin her to the nearest piece of furniture, and then give her the manliest 24.5 seconds of her life. I keeps the bitches coming.
post #3374 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by HgaleK View Post

One of the issues you're facing is called the Coolidge effect. Look a bit in to the behavior of pair bonding mammals, and the ways that various hormones and neurotransmitters jack with their behavior. The long and short of the solution is to stop looking at porn, stop fapping, reduce the frequency of goal oriented sex, and don't finish more than a few times a month.
You mean Stiffler's Mom?
post #3375 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by HgaleK View Post

One of the issues you're facing is called the Coolidge effect. Look a bit in to the behavior of pair bonding mammals, and the ways that various hormones and neurotransmitters jack with their behavior. The long and short of the solution is to stop looking at porn, stop fapping, reduce the frequency of goal oriented sex, and don't finish more than a few times a month.

WTF.
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