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I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread) - Page 139

post #2071 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
And yes I do, I need something to keep me sane.

I know all that shit, go work out, buy some clothes, get laid, that's all on such a superficial level. What the fuck do I do for my head? For when I go to sleep at night, and I have all those thoughts running through my head.

Go volunteer at a Cancer center. Your broken heart will pale in comparison.
post #2072 of 3570
smoke a bowl right before bed. only thing that helped me. drinking just made me want to call/text/write/stay up all night looking at old photos.
post #2073 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by HgaleK View Post
The videos were a bunch of youtube videos with Thich Hhat Hanh mostly covering mindfulness. I'll drop you links to specific ones, but a search around should be an easy way to find them. They may not do anything for you, and you may think I a space job recommending them, but there were days that those lectures and meditations and a pair of headphones were the only things that kept me going. A lot of getting past a breakup is situation specific. Dealing with a beakup over her cheating is different than dealing with a breakup because she was finished with you, etc. You're addressing different issues. Go back through and read all of the advice that was given. Edit: what is "dead her entirely"?
Kind of funny, I have been reading some eastern religion books. (I'm not religious at all). It helps me deal with my current break up. Make me a more positive person, more mindful of my thought process and appreciate a little bit of everything. A break up can be a blessing. Impermanence is the goodness of reality. When you fall in love recognize it as impermanence and let that intensify the preciousness. When relationship ends, recognize it as impermanence.
post #2074 of 3570
Crazy girl is doing more crazy antics now. They're not even worth posting any more, she's deleted her blog because she thinks I'm gonna hack into it somehow or some shit I don't even know any more. I'm just hoping she goes away soon, can't wait till september to get the fuck out of Cambridge and move to London.
post #2075 of 3570
I figured id post this here, because I really could use all the advice I can get. Im a fucking wreck. When I emailed teger he asked me this "well, first question is, are you totally done with her? do you recognize this break up is a good thing, or do you still want her back?" i replied Am I totally done with her? Look it's hard to say, honestly. I knew that when we got back together, things were different. I knew that in a way she wasnt entirely sure she wanted to still be together, but she loved me, and she trusted me when I told her all will be well. And it was for like a month, but I knew she was acting different, and I knew she had changed. In a lot of ways I didnt like it, she was acting like a different person, wasnt the girl that I knew, but I figured we just needed time. I wont lie that the thought of leaving then didnt cross my mind, because things just werent the same...and I figured you know I tried, but it just isnt working, let me leave. We spent the weekend together, and we actually had a great time nothing seemed off, and a couple of weeks back, if you dont recall she said she felt like she was falling in love with me all over again. Anyway, we woke up together yesterday, we fucked, and we started talking about how things arent the same anymore...I asked her what she wanted to do, she said well we've tried time apart, that doesnt work, i dont want to lose you, so I guess we should just continue what weve been doing...I then flat out if she wanted to break up. She said, "if I tell you I want to break up, you're going to storm out of here, call me a bunch of names,and then regret it all and act like it never happened." I tell her no, I really am not going to do that, "do you want to break up?" She replies, that yes she does. I quietly get up, get dressed, gather my things, do this quietely. I know this is it, I have to accept it, from this point on at least for a little while I have to act like she doesnt exist. She walks up to me, gives me a hug, asks me if i want her to do anything for me, I say no thank you, and then I just walk out. She called me a couple of times later in the day, I didnt pick up, she then texted me "I would have picked up for you" and then later, "So you're just going to act like I dont exist anymore?" I didn't reply to either, and I throughout this whole thing always made it clear to her that if we break up im not going to acknowledge her existence, she never really believed it... Anyway, I kind of went off on a tangent. Do I want her back? I feel like I do, but at the same time I dont. I dont think its realistic, i dont think things would be the same, I dont want to fill my head with these thoughts that its possible, I just want to rid my mind of anything to do with her, which wont be easy, but i really am going to treat her like she is dead. I dont know if that answers your question, but I feel like shit. walking out of there yesterday I was like ok... I can deal with it. This morning I woke up and the reality hit me like a truck, this girl is gone, she meant so much to me, i loved her so much and now i dont have her. i wont lie next to her, smell her...you know. i feel really depressed, i know for the next couple of days/weeks/hopefully not months ill be drinking too much to often, i know my work will be affected, and hopefully not if i can help it but my school too. im not interested in any other woman. they all make me realize how great she was. i just feel like im existing, gonig though the motions of life, but not living. In short, I love her, I want to be with her, but I think that its impossible at this point, and do not want to think in that way. what the fuck do i do?
post #2076 of 3570
was gonna email you back but this is easier. first thing is to recognize that your life is better off without her. you want a relationship with her that she doesn't want - and you can sense that and she can sense it, and it sucks, it sucks hard, but there's really nothing you can do about it other than trying to accept it. part of you will want to maintain something with her on any terms - but don't. you need to be in the relationship you want. you also need to prepare yourself for the fact that in a couple days she's probably going to contact you again and you'll be tempted to see her and fall back into things - but don't. now, that leaves you in a shitty spot. you're sad and you're lonely, and what you need to do for the next week is try to distract yourself. hang out with friends, don't drink too much (this would be bad!), don't torpedo your studies, but relax - go out to some bars, see a movie, work out, watch the entire series of lost on netflix. do ANYTHING. it'll get better.
post #2077 of 3570
next time she txts you, just txt back saying the best thing she could do for you right now would be to leave you alone.


As for getting over it, it's just time. Nothing but time. 6 months, you'll be fine.
post #2078 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
...She walks up to me, gives me a hug, asks me if i want her to do anything for me, I say no thank you, and then I just walk out...

You know she was asking if you wanted her to suck your cawk, don't you?
post #2079 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by fuji View Post
Told crazy girl I can't deal with her any more. She's been horrible to me lately and just treating me like a piece of shit and pretty much just using me. Trying to walk away now, can't keep seeing this girl. She'll probably threaten me with suicide again, but I just can't deal with her.

stop poasting retard.
come back when you grow a pair.
post #2080 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teger View Post
was gonna email you back but this is easier.

first thing is to recognize that your life is better off without her. you want a relationship with her that she doesn't want - and you can sense that and she can sense it, and it sucks, it sucks hard, but there's really nothing you can do about it other than trying to accept it.

part of you will want to maintain something with her on any terms - but don't. you need to be in the relationship you want. you also need to prepare yourself for the fact that in a couple days she's probably going to contact you again and you'll be tempted to see her and fall back into things - but don't.

now, that leaves you in a shitty spot. you're sad and you're lonely, and what you need to do for the next week is try to distract yourself. hang out with friends, don't drink too much (this would be bad!), don't torpedo your studies, but relax - go out to some bars, see a movie, work out, watch the entire series of lost on netflix. do ANYTHING.

it'll get better.

Word, thats pretty much all I can do.

Hendrix I realize its time, but man I feel like ill never get there.
post #2081 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
I figured id post this here, because I really could use all the advice I can get. Im a fucking wreck.

When I emailed teger he asked me this

"well, first question is, are you totally done with her? do you recognize this break up is a good thing, or do you still want her back?"

i replied

Am I totally done with her?

Look it's hard to say, honestly.

I knew that when we got back together, things were different. I knew that in a way she wasnt entirely sure she wanted to still be together, but she loved me, and she trusted me when I told her all will be well.

And it was for like a month, but I knew she was acting different, and I knew she had changed. In a lot of ways I didnt like it, she was acting like a different person, wasnt the girl that I knew, but I figured we just needed time.

I wont lie that the thought of leaving then didnt cross my mind, because things just werent the same...and I figured you know I tried, but it just isnt working, let me leave.

We spent the weekend together, and we actually had a great time nothing seemed off, and a couple of weeks back, if you dont recall she said she felt like she was falling in love with me all over again.

Anyway, we woke up together yesterday, we fucked, and we started talking about how things arent the same anymore...I asked her what she wanted to do, she said well we've tried time apart, that doesnt work, i dont want to lose you, so I guess we should just continue what weve been doing...I then flat out if she wanted to break up. She said, "if I tell you I want to break up, you're going to storm out of here, call me a bunch of names,and then regret it all and act like it never happened."

I tell her no, I really am not going to do that, "do you want to break up?" She replies, that yes she does.

I quietly get up, get dressed, gather my things, do this quietely. I know this is it, I have to accept it, from this point on at least for a little while I have to act like she doesnt exist. She walks up to me, gives me a hug, asks me if i want her to do anything for me, I say no thank you, and then I just walk out.

She called me a couple of times later in the day, I didnt pick up, she then texted me "I would have picked up for you" and then later, "So you're just going to act like I dont exist anymore?"

I didn't reply to either, and I throughout this whole thing always made it clear to her that if we break up im not going to acknowledge her existence, she never really believed it...

Anyway, I kind of went off on a tangent. Do I want her back? I feel like I do, but at the same time I dont. I dont think its realistic, i dont think things would be the same, I dont want to fill my head with these thoughts that its possible, I just want to rid my mind of anything to do with her, which wont be easy, but i really am going to treat her like she is dead.

I dont know if that answers your question, but I feel like shit. walking out of there yesterday I was like ok... I can deal with it. This morning I woke up and the reality hit me like a truck, this girl is gone, she meant so much to me, i loved her so much and now i dont have her. i wont lie next to her, smell her...you know.

i feel really depressed, i know for the next couple of days/weeks/hopefully not months ill be drinking too much to often, i know my work will be affected, and hopefully not if i can help it but my school too.

im not interested in any other woman. they all make me realize how great she was. i just feel like im existing, gonig though the motions of life, but not living.

In short, I love her, I want to be with her, but I think that its impossible at this point, and do not want to think in that way.

what the fuck do i do?

Dude, fuck you.
post #2082 of 3570
thanks
post #2083 of 3570
Thread Starter 
the over/under was a week, right? he lasted a month. did ANYONE think he'd get that long?
post #2084 of 3570
I dunno, but everything we posted a month ago is still applicable here. Nothing has changed in that respect, so my advice is to go back and read all of that. But this time, actually listen.

Also, fuji, don't post about crazy girl unless she kills herself. Wait, that's too callous. Just don't post about her anymore. I don't think I can stand seeing another post about her.
post #2085 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt View Post
the over/under was a week, right? he lasted a month.

did ANYONE think he'd get that long?

I think I went with over!
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