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I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread) - Page 11

post #151 of 3533
10/14/09 at 4:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambo View Post
I've never understood that or rules governing the amount of time you have to wait before you jump back in the shark infested waters. Do we expect the women to sit around and not get laid? If anything, I'd expect that seeing the other person moving on would galvanize you into getting your shit together and finding someone better.

For me, it was a pride thing. The idea she thought she'd found someone better for me. As it turned out, she hadn't, but it was the best thing for me.
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post #152 of 3533
10/14/09 at 5:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prada_Ferragamo View Post
Is there a thread for my gf broke up with me? If not, I am in this one. She broke it off with me just recently after 3 years. Sigh....


Less fun being the one who is dumped rather than the dumper...

Cut off any contact with her for a while, otherwise it'll take longer to recover.
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post #153 of 3533
10/14/09 at 1:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by m@T View Post
meh, I always fluctuate when I have been through a breakup. One minute I don't care, the next I am a mess.....

I'm a bit scared that I didn't realize the full implications of it yet and will go crazy eventually. Or maybe it's because I feel like a kid who's been running around the candy store for the past couple years and now is finally allowed to have all the candy he wants without having to steal, lie, or beg.

But if I think about it - I guess it might have to do with the fact that we lost some of the passion. It's almost like we were best friends and sex/passion became an afterthought. And we swore that we will remain friends. So basically not much has changed except that now I can have sex/passion with other chicks while keeping her as my close friend. I hope.

Quote:
Originally Posted by APK View Post
In my experiences, those feelings are also impacted by how the other person is doing.

I didn't really care by time my longest relationship ended, but then I was a wreck when she started dating someone a few months later.

Yeah that's tough. But it's the reality of life. Bothers the hell out of me in the beginning but goes away eventually. I actually always hoped to become good friends with one of my exes and her husband, but never worked out.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambo View Post
I've never understood that or rules governing the amount of time you have to wait before you jump back in the shark infested waters. Do we expect the women to sit around and not get laid? If anything, I'd expect that seeing the other person moving on would galvanize you into getting your shit together and finding someone better.

Doesn't really matter. Do what you think is right for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prada_Ferragamo View Post
Is there a thread for my gf broke up with me? If not, I am in this one. She broke it off with me just recently after 3 years. Sigh....

Stay strong. Banging other women + booze = help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by henrywilson View Post
As one of our friends said. Don't feel about it. Think that you saved one valentines day gift. Thanks for sharing your feelings with us.

thank you, kind spambot
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post #154 of 3533
10/14/09 at 3:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flambeur View Post
Stay strong. Banging other women + booze = help.
Thanks man. I have been trying, not so much drinking and fucking, but just get my head around the situation. When the relationship suddenly ends after both parties have invested so much, just feels a bit like rock bottom. .
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post #155 of 3533
10/14/09 at 3:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prada_Ferragamo View Post
Is there a thread for my gf broke up with me? If not, I am in this one. She broke it off with me just recently after 3 years. Sigh....

deets
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post #156 of 3533
10/14/09 at 4:01pm
The friends thing doesn't really work out. You might be able to be cordial or friendly with them, but it's an oddity when two people are able to actually be good friends following a long/intense romantic relationship. My logic has always been that if you were able to be such good friends, the relationship probably wouldn't have fallen apart.
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post #157 of 3533
10/14/09 at 4:18pm
^ +1
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post #158 of 3533
10/14/09 at 7:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by APK View Post
The friends thing doesn't really work out. You might be able to be cordial or friendly with them, but it's an oddity when two people are able to actually be good friends following a long/intense romantic relationship. My logic has always been that if you were able to be such good friends, the relationship probably wouldn't have fallen apart.

Definitely tried that- no go at all. She wanted to be "friends" in the hopes that I'd get back together with her.
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post #159 of 3533
10/14/09 at 11:00pm
I have to agree with what everyone has said above with being friends. Too awkward.
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post #160 of 3533
10/14/09 at 11:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HgaleK View Post
Definitely tried that- no go at all. She wanted to be "friends" in the hopes that I'd get back together with her.

+100000000000000000

Happened with my last gf. For 2 years
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post #161 of 3533
10/14/09 at 11:52pm
is this thread the new "relationship advice" thread? new girl i have been seeing (not dating) for a couple of weeks now. i met her at a bar the usual way, flirty but ended having a definite connection and lots in common. i got the idea she was a bit wild when i met her. we dont go on dates, we go out to bars and parties and drink. the first week, i slept maybe 15 hours total. we would stay up until our 9am class and part ways until i got off work at 8pm. never a boring moment. no sex until last monday. was really good though. fast forward to the weekend. she goes to florida to see her brother and a few childhood friends. comes back and says shes leaving "asap". im like wtf but just roll with it, we arent dating after all. after 36 hours of awkward texts explaining things, she talks herself into finishing the semester and not leaving until december. i like her quite a bit, only known her for 2 and a half weeks. she is definately leaving in december. whats my play, just 2 months of sex and drinking? escalate things further cuz i like her (this doesnt happen much)? can anyone share similar stories that have endings? and possibly feelings of regret lol
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post #162 of 3533
10/15/09 at 12:24am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by phreak View Post
is this thread the new "relationship advice" thread? new girl i have been seeing (not dating) for a couple of weeks now. i met her at a bar the usual way, flirty but ended having a definite connection and lots in common. i got the idea she was a bit wild when i met her. we dont go on dates, we go out to bars and parties and drink. the first week, i slept maybe 15 hours total. we would stay up until our 9am class and part ways until i got off work at 8pm. never a boring moment. no sex until last monday. was really good though. fast forward to the weekend. she goes to florida to see her brother and a few childhood friends. comes back and says shes leaving "asap". im like wtf but just roll with it, we arent dating after all. after 36 hours of awkward texts explaining things, she talks herself into finishing the semester and not leaving until december. i like her quite a bit, only known her for 2 and a half weeks. she is definately leaving in december. whats my play, just 2 months of sex and drinking? escalate things further cuz i like her (this doesnt happen much)? can anyone share similar stories that have endings? and possibly feelings of regret lol
my take - two months of sex and drinking, keep your eyes open. try to end as friends. Certainly that was the attempt my ex and I made, and in our case it didn't end well (I got hammered one night...brought down some home truths...and woke up with one less facebook friend...it was kinna liberating) but that aside, ideally, I think that is the best scenario.
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post #163 of 3533
10/15/09 at 12:33am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prada_Ferragamo View Post
I have to agree with what everyone has said above with being friends. Too awkward.

hmmm

lemme think.

I've kinda been a serial relationship guy for the past decade, punctuated by intermittent bursts of singledom upon which the how we roll thread has hinged.

1st of those gfs - 4 yrs together - ended on decent 'weve just grown apart terms' - we are still friends and chat regularly on line. There was a little animosity for a while, but we're all good and continue to think highly of each other.

2nd of those gfs - 2 yrs together - ended very very hostile, patched up in due course, and hung out last week in HK. We're ok, but there is still a lot between us. I'm still in love with that fucking girl, and her me...but there is a lot of crap between us.

3rd - 1.5 yrs together - ended very hostile. She ignores me on sight and told my staff a couple of months ago that I 'destroyed her life'. She was fucking crazy. Stories of her conduct have been documented on here in the past.

4th - 2 yrs together - the start of this thread. We're pretty friendly. She is now dating one of my friends, and with my sincerest best wishes. It is occasionally awkward, but we have all been grown ups about it, and honestly, she's great, he's great, go over there and be great together.

4.5 - just like 6mths together - ended when she left the country (see upthread) and on good terms. Terms promptly deteriorated. See previous post.

So I guess that means I have about a 50% stay as friends/friendly ratio with my exes, generally taking a bit of time to settle down....
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post #164 of 3533
10/15/09 at 1:08am
Quote:
my take - two months of sex and drinking, keep your eyes open.
literally, this has been a problem recently...college is fun sometimes its inconvenient having a job where i have to be attentive and 18 hours of class that can consume weeks at a time is this what it means to "fuck bitches, get money"?
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post #165 of 3533
10/15/09 at 2:19am
Quote:
Originally Posted by m@T View Post
hmmm

lemme think.

I've kinda been a serial relationship guy for the past decade, punctuated by intermittent bursts of singledom upon which the how we roll thread has hinged.

1st of those gfs - 4 yrs together - ended on decent 'weve just grown apart terms' - we are still friends and chat regularly on line. There was a little animosity for a while, but we're all good and continue to think highly of each other.

2nd of those gfs - 2 yrs together - ended very very hostile, patched up in due course, and hung out last week in HK. We're ok, but there is still a lot between us. I'm still in love with that fucking girl, and her me...but there is a lot of crap between us.

3rd - 1.5 yrs together - ended very hostile. She ignores me on sight and told my staff a couple of months ago that I 'destroyed her life'. She was fucking crazy. Stories of her conduct have been documented on here in the past.

4th - 2 yrs together - the start of this thread. We're pretty friendly. She is now dating one of my friends, and with my sincerest best wishes. It is occasionally awkward, but we have all been grown ups about it, and honestly, she's great, he's great, go over there and be great together.

4.5 - just like 6mths together - ended when she left the country (see upthread) and on good terms. Terms promptly deteriorated. See previous post.

So I guess that means I have about a 50% stay as friends/friendly ratio with my exes, generally taking a bit of time to settle down....


My first ex. 2 years together, after breaking up. Didn't talk to each other for 1 and half years. Then started talking and hooked up for a few nights. Now we are just platonic friends.
This time, I'll have to see since the relationship was a lot deeper and emotional. I do still love her and probably will always do. But right now, we are on non speaking terms.
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