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I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread) - Page 83

post #1231 of 3570
this one is dedicated to allll the fluxers out there :::
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post #1232 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
My educated guess:

She's seeing somebody else and it's getting serious. Every time she breaks up (or hits a rough patch) with some other guy, she uses you as her fallback, because you've always been there; you're an old habit that she breaks whenever somebody "better" comes along. This doesn't mean she doesn't care for you"”she does. But, even though she may have a hard time imagining life without you at all, she also doesn't see you as "the one."

If you hold out for her to change her mind about that, you will live and die a bachelor. She may still come back to you for as much as a few weeks at a time at some point in the future, because this "serious" guy probably won't be her last. However, you're not going to end up with this girl, even if you've spent most of your life believing you were destined for each other.

My advice: start looking for someone who won't take you for granted. When you find her, don't take her for granted, either; I say this because, for all the years you've spent with your 10th grade crush, it sounds as if you don't really know her very well. Either that, or you know her just fine, but you ignore what you know because it's contrary to what you wish.

Any chance I've guessed right?

You might be right on certain aspects.
But the time frame is way too short for her to go through multiple relationships.

And I know her very well, and perhaps that is the reason why I have trouble letting go entirely.
After all, I did spent the better part of my intelligent life with her by my side.

Anyways, I am focusing all my attention on something else now.

Homie, you hustlin' backwards if you chasin' a bitch.
Stupid, chase the paper, they come with the shit.
post #1233 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenN View Post
But the time frame is way too short for her to go through multiple relationships.

One around June (possibly on her vacation), one around October. Could be the same relationship, on/off.

Anyway, good luck with "something else." Hope she's special.
post #1234 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
One around June (possibly on her vacation), one around October. Could be the same relationship, on/off.

Anyway, good luck with "something else." Hope she's special.

I am positive no relations happened during the June vacation since she was with a friend of hers.

And "something else" is money (hence the quote). I figured that it wouldn't leave me unless I do something incredibly stupid.
post #1235 of 3570
Mark, if it makes you feel any better, I missed out on that floral BR shirt that you bought. I had it bookmarked hoping for a price drop and they've since sold out of mediums.
post #1236 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenN View Post
I am positive no relations happened during the June vacation since she was with a friend of hers.
This has never stopped a woman from having a fling. The fling could even have been with her friend.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KenN View Post
And "something else" is money (hence the quote). I figured that it wouldn't leave me unless I do something incredibly stupid.
Good luck with that, then!
post #1237 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadly7 View Post
Yes, yes, and she doesn't - she's just scared that she won't find anyone else.
+1. Move on man. Its hard to hear that but everyone around you will keep telling you this because at the end, dwelling in the shit, stench-filled memories of the past will only make matters worse. I was with someone who I really loved and after 2 years she did what your gf did to you. She ended up fucking a couple of dudes, partied 2-3 nights a week, etc. After her wild stage, we got back together and it just wasnt the same. She was ready for the serious relationship when I was still wrapping my mind around what the hell just happened. I ended up breaking up with her 9 months later. At that point I realized how pathetic I was for wanting and trying so hard to be with her. I look back and pity that man. You dont deserve to be treated like this so pack up your shit, walk out the door and dont even look back. There are a ton of girls who want to be with you, go find 'em.
post #1238 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by APK View Post
Mark, if it makes you feel any better, I missed out on that floral BR shirt that you bought. I had it bookmarked hoping for a price drop and they've since sold out of mediums.
I saw it in someones sig here " The envious man thinks that if his neighbor breaks a leg, he will be able to walk better." Not exactly me haha. In anycase, I just picked up another one in a M cause they discounted them to $47 at the BR by my job, if youd like I can go take a look today, and ship it to ya?
post #1239 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by NAMOR View Post
+1. Move on man. Its hard to hear that but everyone around you will keep telling you this because at the end, dwelling in the shit, stench-filled memories of the past will only make matters worse.

I was with someone who I really loved and after 2 years she did what your gf did to you. She ended up fucking a couple of dudes, partied 2-3 nights a week, etc. After her wild stage, we got back together and it just wasnt the same. She was ready for the serious relationship when I was still wrapping my mind around what the hell just happened. I ended up breaking up with her 9 months later. At that point I realized how pathetic I was for wanting and trying so hard to be with her. I look back and pity that man. You dont deserve to be treated like this so pack up your shit, walk out the door and dont even look back. There are a ton of girls who want to be with you, go find 'em.

Serious +1

I hope i'm not speaking too soon, but this morning I woke up and I feel A LOT better, feel like a lot of it has been lifted, everytime I think of her i'm just like fuck that.

Maybe i'm just excited cause it's Friday, and i'm taking a half day, going away for the weekend, I don't know, but i'm going to ride the good feeling as long as I can.
post #1240 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
I saw it in someones sig here " The envious man thinks that if his neighbor breaks a leg, he will be able to walk better."

In anycase, I just picked up another one in a M cause they discounted them to $47 at the BR by my job, if youd like I can go take a look today, and ship it to ya?

Which shirt are you guys talking about?
post #1241 of 3570
pstoller, APK (and everyone else who's posting insightful remarks I've only been reading the last few pages of posts.)- you guys seem to be giving some amazing break-up advice in this thread. I'd like to present my break-up situation a little later today and have you fellas weigh in on it. I've come to realize that I have no outlet to vent all of my problems to (especially those dealing with relationships)... I feel like a little bitch.
post #1242 of 3570
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2balls View Post
pstoller, APK (and everyone else who's posting insightful remarks I've only been reading the last few pages of posts.)- you guys seem to be giving some amazing break-up advice in this thread.

I'd like to present my break-up situation a little later today and have you fellas weigh in on it. I've come to realize that I have no outlet to vent all of my problems to (especially those dealing with relationships)... I feel like a little bitch.

Join the club haha
post #1243 of 3570
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
I hope i'm not speaking too soon, but this morning I woke up and I feel A LOT better, feel like a lot of it has been lifted, everytime I think of her i'm just like fuck that.

there'll be ebbs and flows dude, all you can really do is roll with them....but this:

Quote:
Maybe i'm just excited cause it's Friday, and i'm taking a half day, going away for the weekend, I don't know, but i'm going to ride the good feeling as long as I can.
is definitely good for you. Enjoy the trip!
post #1244 of 3570
I feel the need to vent. I was with this girl for a year. I loved her very much, and still do as a matter of fact. 6 months ago, she gave me the whole "I need a break" thing. To give you some background, she'd been with a dude for 5 years before me, and was actually still with him in the first couple of weeks we started seeing each other (something I wasn't aware of initially). Fast forward a few months into the relationship, we've effectively moved in together, and after a few months, she asks for the above mentioned break out of the blue. I'm not an idiot, I realise at this point it's the prelude to a full break-up, which eventually happens a couple of months later. At that point she asks that we remain in touch, which I flat-out refuse. I don't want to keep being reminded of her, and especially not by her. She contacts me a few times, I reply politely but make my feelings about the situation clear every time. In the past month or so, I've been back out dating. I've actually been on a pretty delectable rampage. But as with all women and their 6th sense in knowing when we're in the final stage of moving on, she's been a lot more active in the past couple of weeks in contacting me. I caved in tonight and talked to her. Some things were said, and she insisted on seeing me at the end of the month when she visits London. I told her I would consider it, although my initial reaction was to tell her I didn't think it was a good idea. Truth be told, I genuinely don't know what I'm going to do. I don't think there's any intention on her part to renew our relationship. I know I would take her back in a heartbeat if that was a possibility, despite having had possibly one of the best rolls of my life as of late.
post #1245 of 3570
I think your last paragraph solves your dilemma if you flip the sentences:

Quote:
I know I would take her back in a heartbeat if that was a possibility

Quote:
I don't think there's any intention on her part to renew our relationship.

You sound like you've made some strides toward moving past this relationship. It's normal that despite success elsewhere, you're still open to rekindling this dormant union.

Getting down to the nuts and bolts of this situation, though, the quoted sentences above really say it all. You've made progress, but still interested in a relationship with her. She isn't.

Seeing her will afford you the excuse to imagine what might happen as a result of meeting her. In most cases like this, though, such a meeting is almost a guaranteed setback for you. You may think you're mentally in a place where you can handle meeting up with her. Your openness to resuming the relationship suggests otherwise.

Politely decline the meeting and be honest. She can't begrudge you for doing what you can to cope with the hand that she dealt you.
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