Wait..spread collar for black tie is a thing? I'm asking this sincerely. Do you mean like a full windsor/cutaway collar, or just a normal spread collar?
Peak lapel is more traditional, but shawl is perfectly acceptable. Definitely bow tie, not a regular tie. To me guys wearing long ties with a dinner jacket (or worse, with tails) look like butlers. Do you want to look like a butler at a social function? Didn't think so.
Wing or spread collar is your choice. Same goes for ruffles/pique placket/or plain front. As someone who wears black tie to work (classical musician), I've gone back and forth on both of the former points, and decided that spread collar/plain front looks best on me. Simple, elegant. Your call though.
Also, you said navy blue? Did you mean midnight? Looks quite dark in the pics. Dinner jacket fit looks good, though as you say, it's a bit hard to tell.
And lastly, no shame in shaming the other men (sartorially). Show 'em who's boss!