Originally Posted by Klobber
Seriously, the toilet problem is a big one IMO. I used to work in London and good luck finding a public toilet. Problem is even worse in New York!
I will relay a couple of funny stories:
1. I am on the district line, subway in London, from Victoria and Cannon Street (my destination). Needed urgent pee, real bad. So bad in fact sweat was pouring off my forehead. Train was crammed with people, I was sandwiched between a hot babe and some dude behind me. Also was shoulder to shoulder with a few other people on my side. Cant fucking move it is so crammed. The hot chick was pressed right on me, her buttocks landing just below my productive region. Dude behind me I can kinda feel his unit pressing against the back of my pants (the train was that crammed). I try to ignore it but could not, their movements coinciding with the train rocking compounded my problem doubly. Train stops in the pitch blackness between Embankment and Temple, I am nearly there I thought. Driver says signalling problem but it should only be 5 mins or so. 20 mins pass, I am clenching my teeth in agony. Did not even think about hot babe in front of me, pressed against me, great ass and all that lovely soft skin thanks to short skirt allowing plenty of bare legs. No chance of getting a boner, but there was a possibility I may have to relieve myself I was that desperate - pee in pants may be my only option. Whats the chance of me seeing these people again I thought? What about the girl? She would surely notice I was peeing given her ass was pressed just below my dick - sheer trauma for her and this could bring major legal problems. Decide I cannot pee in public, I have to bear the agony although I knew I could not hold out, 15 minutes more and my bladder would either burst or my muscles holding back the pee will give way. When train eventually arrives in Cannon street, my gait becomes a forceful sprint. "Where is the fucking toilet" I yelled in desperation to the guy at the turnstiles. I must have looked like a madman but he gave me directions! Go to the toilet and was there for around 15minutes. Took so long because the piss dribbled out rather than gushed out. For half the day, I had that perpetual feeling I needed to pee, I must have damaged my bladder holding on so long.
2. Was on a morning date with a woman that would eventually become my wife (this was like a 3rd date and we were just really getting to know each other). We go to a coffee shop that only had a single toilet. I needed a dump so go and do my thing. It was a very productive dump indeed and a single flush of the toilet resulted in a thick log standing to attention and a bowl full of water with toilet paper swirling on top. Well, that's just fucking great I thought. I look around for a plunger and there was nothing. Inspecting the contents of the bowl I thought screw it, I am outta here. Just before I leave, a bang on the door, it was my date and she asked me how long I would be. Dammit! I thought about letting her in and saying that the toilet was blocked by someone else, but she will know there is no way I spent 10 minutes in the toilet inspecting another person's turd. I said "hang on a moment, nearly finished"! I looked at the bowl full of water and tried to will the turd down with my mind. She knocked again and said it was urgent! Well fuckit, I rolled up my sleeves, when the water drained about halfway, I flushed again and unclogged that shitty toilet with my bare hands!
3. Driving through London, I had a bad stomach pain. I needed a diarrhea dump urgently. Saw a coffee shop, parked in illegal parking zone, and proceeded to enter. I can barely walk straight out of fear the contents of my bowels would empty into my pants. Male toilet was locked, some fucker was in. Look over to the Woman's toilet and thought screw it, I am going in. Just as I started to sit down an explosion erupted out my ass. When I got back up I noticed that not one square inch of toilet was left uncovered by scat. I hear the door open, shit, this is the only cubicle and this person is highly likely to be a woman. I gently depress the flush handle, nothing.... I press forceably, nothing but a faint gurgle and no water. The fucking toilet was broken and would not flush. Of course, luck would have it this woman was standing around waiting for me to finish. I leave as nonchalantly as possible, she enters the cubicle, and while walking away, she yells out to me "you're an animal". Also got a parking ticket!
Yeah happened I lost my thrifted goods halfway through when needing the loo, came back cart was gone. Looked around, found zilcho although two of the shirts I wanted were back on the rack. Still have not figured out what happened.