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Why do people make flippant promises?

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
Is it unreasonable to expect someone to do something they say they'll do? I'm not talking about elected politicians, but rather friends and acquaintances. I don't know if it's a product of modern society or if I'm just young and naive and people have always been this way, but I find all too often people will agree to something and just not follow through. They'll conveniently forget when I bring the topic up later. If you don't actually mean to do something, then don't say you will. If you've actually forgotten about it, that tells me you weren't serious to begin with, and you're making flippant promises, which to me is disrespectful. You won't lose my respect if you insert a "maybe" or "possibly" into your agreement, but you will if you agree to something and don't do it. Whatever happened to courtesy, honor, and reputation? Do people not value these things anymore? The Sarcastic Generation (my own Gen Y) seems to be free of guilt and any sense of responsibility and respect when making promises. Their word is worth nothing. How can someone make flippant promises and not expect people to think ill of them? Am I expecting too much of people?
post #2 of 19
i dont think that is a problem with just your generation, as much as a problem with every generation since the dawn of man.
post #3 of 19
There are also those who alway sounds indecisive. They do not make any promise at all and left you without any expectation of them.
post #4 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by danyllau View Post
There are also those who alway sounds indecisive. They do not make any promise at all and left you without any expectation of them.

post #5 of 19
I think people "agree" to do things they never intend to do just to be polite. I seldom hear anyone "promise" to do anything.
post #6 of 19
Would you like someone to ask what happened for you to bring this up? ... let it all out.
post #7 of 19
Some people are just wimpy and don't like to say yes or no.

Other people are inconsiderate and like to keep all their options open. They make multiple engagements so they can pick and choose the most appealing one when the time comes. This is a natural human tendency, I think. But it is also bad manners. Past generations seem to have realized this and tried worked against this tendency. Gen Y seems oblivious.
post #8 of 19
You can't do much about it other than make a mental note of those people who do come through for you in life.
post #9 of 19
I haven't got the time to post an answer in full right now but I'll get back to you... I promise.
post #10 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by KFS View Post
I haven't got the time to post an answer in full right now but I'll get back to you... I promise.

me too....
post #11 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by dexterhaven View Post
Other people are inconsiderate and like to keep all their options open. They make multiple engagements so they can pick and choose the most appealing one when the time comes. This is a natural human tendency, I think. But it is also bad manners. Past generations seem to have realized this and tried worked against this tendency. Gen Y seems oblivious.

I disagree about it being human nature. It's learned. My mother taught me early on that this was not acceptable. Primary school probably.

I hate this behavior. I find it the height of rudeness. And I've told off two women, both of whom I desparately wanted to sleep with, for it. I basically told them to go to hell. It's not worth it to be treated like that.

I say stand up to it and tell your "friends" that in the future if they have no intention of following through, that it would polite to just not commit in the first place.


b
post #12 of 19
Honestly, I'm not sure if I'll respond to this thread yet. I'll let you know tomorrow night.
post #13 of 19
When a girl or a guy you just met (for a short time in a friendly fashion) tells you they'll call you I think a reasonable person would just take note of it but wouldn't waste time waiting for the call.

If your scenario is like this maybe you're just naive.
post #14 of 19
Sometimes it is cultural. When I worked in Latin America people would make plans for dinner or meetings and not show up. I took offense; I wondered why they didn't have the courtesy to show up. But later I was told that that was the way things are. No one takes offense if you say you will be there and don't show up. So it was me who had unrealistic expectations. But, that said, if I promise to do something or be somewhere then I try to meet that obligation to the best of my ability.
post #15 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by gsugsu View Post
Sometimes it is cultural. When I worked in Latin America people would make plans for dinner or meetings and not show up. I took offense; I wondered why they didn't have the courtesy to show up. But later I was told that that was the way things are. No one takes offense if you say you will be there and don't show up. So it was me who had unrealistic expectations. But, that said, if I promise to do something or be somewhere then I try to meet that obligation to the best of my ability.
Further reinforced my uninformed views of that part of the world....
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