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Plus one or Invite only?

post #1 of 14
11/12/08 at 1:02am
Thread Starter 
My roommate and I are hosting a Christmas party for our closest friends, we have sent out the invitations, however a couple of people have asked if they're allowed to bring a plus one. My co-host and I are torn on whether to allow a plus one. This is our second annual Christmas party and it has doubled from last year to 14 people including ourselves. We are in University and because of this have budget of about $150-200 and provide alcohol and hors d'oeuvres for all our guests. Obviously we have a potential of almost 30 guests if we allow plus ones which would up the amount of liquor and thus be more expensive. We also thought that people would mingle less if we allowed plus ones. Just wondering if its really rude for our party to be invite only? Part of me wants to be nice and let everyone come but at the same time it would really up the budget (and we feel BYOB is tacky).

Thanks for your input.
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post #2 of 14
11/12/08 at 1:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by davidj19 View Post
My roommate and I are hosting a Christmas party for our closest friends, we have sent out the invitations, however a couple of people have asked if they're allowed to bring a plus one. My co-host and I are torn on whether to allow a plus one. This is our second annual Christmas party and it has doubled from last year to 14 people including ourselves. We are in University and because of this have budget of about $150-200 and provide alcohol and hors d'oeuvres for all our guests. Obviously we have a potential of almost 30 guests if we allow plus ones which would up the amount of liquor and thus be more expensive. We also thought that people would mingle less if we allowed plus ones. Just wondering if its really rude for our party to be invite only? Part of me wants to be nice and let everyone come but at the same time it would really up the budget (and we feel BYOB is tacky).

Thanks for your input.

You should probably allow for +1. I'm not really a big proponent of people bringing dates to parties as I do think it deadens things, but it's only polite. You can't expect people to leave their significant others at home for a Christmas party, unfortunately.
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post #3 of 14
11/12/08 at 1:10am
Thread Starter 
well, both people who asked want to bring "potential prospects" they're not actually "together"
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post #4 of 14
11/12/08 at 1:31am
It's not tacky to ask people who bring a guest to bring a gift (i.e. a bottle or 12 pack) with them as well.
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post #5 of 14
11/12/08 at 1:58am
go with the +1.
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post #6 of 14
11/12/08 at 3:05am
The one thing I never liked about parties where people showed up who you didn't know was that you knew nothing about them. Every once in awhile you may run into a bad apple that believes they are entitled to take your possessions. It all depends on your friends really and being that its a potential +1 xmas party, i doubt your friends would bring someone who would steal from you but this is the one thing I never liked about people at my house I didn't know. Seen it happen quite a few times to friends at their place but those were always open parties where people showed up that noone really knew. Your situation looks to be alot more safe than this scenario, but its still a thought.
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post #7 of 14
11/12/08 at 3:47am
The fact is, if your close friends had a significant +1 that you actually knew they would probably be on the guest list. There is no reason to feel compelled to invite someone that is a "prospect," a spouse or a serious steady is another matter. If you were having a kegger with dozens of people, fine. But for a party of 14? No way.
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post #8 of 14
11/12/08 at 8:07am
If they want to bring people they are trying to bang tell them to piss off.

If they will bring people for you to bang, then more the merrier.

Bringing tail is better than bringing booze.

K
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post #9 of 14
11/12/08 at 10:57am
Quote:
Originally Posted by VKK3450 View Post

Bringing tail is better than bringing booze.

K

But bringing both is the best. Seriously, if you are hosting a Christmas party, the least I think your friends can do is bring some booze. My rule has always been that way: If someone else is hosting any sort of a party or a gathering, I always take a 6 pack or a bottle of wine. To me, it just feels really weird to walk in empty handed.

I would say do the + 1, since more is always the merrier, but also tell your close friends to bring some booze to compensate for the additional folks.
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post #10 of 14
11/12/08 at 11:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by feynmix View Post
But bringing both is the best. Seriously, if you are hosting a Christmas party, the least I think your friends can do is bring some booze. My rule has always been that way: If someone else is hosting any sort of a party or a gathering, I always take a 6 pack or a bottle of wine. To me, it just feels really weird to walk in empty handed.

I would say do the + 1, since more is always the merrier, but also tell your close friends to bring some booze to compensate for the additional folks.

Ya, I never go to someones place without bringing drinks. I was always taught that you brought something for the host / hostess whether that was wine, flowers, a gift, all of the above, etc. (though you would not necessarily expect to drink your wine).

Might also be the fact that my friends and I are such boozehounds, and I wouldnt wish it on anyone to have to supply alcohol for all of us.

K
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post #11 of 14
11/12/08 at 2:20pm
It depends on the type of party. I know people who throw huge parties with everything supplied. They only want their guests to bring healthy livers and good humor. I once brought them a bottle of alcohol but it was a joke (I brought Yukon Jack)
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post #12 of 14
11/14/08 at 6:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodum5 View Post
It depends on the type of party. I know people who throw huge parties with everything supplied. They only want their guests to bring healthy livers and good humor. I once brought them a bottle of alcohol but it was a joke (I brought Yukon Jack)

In such cases I usually bring a bottle of something nice and tell them that its "for their cellar".

I'd drink some Yukon Jack

K
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post #13 of 14
11/14/08 at 7:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by VKK3450 View Post
In such cases I usually bring a bottle of something nice and tell them that its "for their cellar".

I'd drink some Yukon Jack

K

My thoughts exactly. Also if you're going to allow +1, don't have them sitting together at the table. Sit everyone next to the ones they don't know. Always a success when I have done that.
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post #14 of 14
11/14/08 at 11:46am
Well for a dose of familiarity have the person they came with sit across from them. Hopefully they will be interesting enough people to spend 70% of their time talking with the strangers sitting alongside them.
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