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Give your best advice to an expecting father - Page 21

post #301 of 354
I had an interesting conversation over the weekend at a chess tournament with a couple of parents. the discussion started over whether you should teach your kid to give up when he sees that a game is lost, or to fight it out till the end. one guy was saying that as long as you keep fighting, the opponent could make a mistake and you could tie or maybe even win. once you give up you have lost. a woman was saying that she taught her son to concede, and save strength for the next game.

so we ended up talking about this for a while, and I said how I thought teaching my kids to be tough was one of the most important things for me. that other things were secondary, that I really didn't care about chess, I thought it was good to teach my kids to focus and to push through to win (now, to clarify, I am not pushing my son to be a grand master, just to do as well as he can, but I have high standards in terms of working, focusing and being disciplined). anyway, she felt that I was overly "confrontational" in my life view. so she told me that her field was conflict resolution, that she had a PhD from a top business school in conflict resolution, and that was what she did, and that was why she felt I was overly confrontational and she taught her kids that they should work according to a more "cooperative" model.

but then we talk some more and it turns out that she is teaching MBA students business writing , that the school didn't give her a job in her field, so she is teaching something that a TA usually teaches. it took pretty much all my willpower not to make a snarky comment on that.
post #302 of 354
Oh, and thanks all for the trip advice.
post #303 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
(...)
but then we talk some more and it turns out that she is teaching MBA students business writing , that the school didn't give her a job in her field, so she is teaching something that a TA usually teaches. it took pretty much all my willpower not to make a snarky comment on that.

I'm kinda proud of you for giving up the open shot like that.

...

I don't have much good advice here since we came about our children differently, but I will say that once my son entered the school system, we have had a lot of work on our hands in terms of establishing and reinforcing expectations and accountability - both in terms of our son AND his teachers. Sometimes I wonder if I can put a teacher in detention for a few hours or so.
post #304 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
there are things that you want to do with your wife, just the two of you, do them, now, right now.

make sure that the doctors, and espectially the anesthesiologist, understand that you are rational, serous people. you want them to communicate with you when needed, but don't need them to fill you in with all the stupid details.

get the twins on the same sleep schedule as quickly as possibe. this is easier said than done, but my wife did it very quickly (maybe 6 weeks) and it was very helpful.

your wife will be nuts, totally freaking nuts, right before, during and after giving birth, maybe for a month or so after. suck it up. she will have huge amounts of hormones running through her.

your job is not to be their friend, it is to give them tools to be healthy, successful adults.

+1000 on all these. I would add the following:

- Sleep when the babies sleep, if you can.

- If someone offers to help you out (i.e., do grocery shopping for you, etc), stow your pride and take them up on the offer. You're going to be more tired than you can imagine.

- Don't be afraid to ask for help once the babies are there.

- If your wife wants you to see to the babies during the night, and they don't need feeding, do it.

- If you think you've been tired before, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Nothing can compare to the bone-grinding exhaustion of looking after a baby. But, you will find that you have the strength to get through it. Mother nature provides, even to fathers.

- This is for later, but this is also important: Babies develop at their own pace. You can't force them to walk, talk, or reach any other developmental milestone before they are ready to do so. If you try to push them, you're in for a world of frustration.

And the most important one:

Your life is about to change completely, but it will be so much fuller. You will have an opportunity to become an even better man than you were before.
post #305 of 354
another twin issue - I find that one of my twins is much better at pretty much everything physical than the other one right now. frankly, I think that she is a little smarter, too. not a hell of a lot I can do with it, now. again, you have to suck it up and wait it out.
post #306 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpooPoker View Post
We should start a "best apps for the kids" thread. Id be curious what you think works. I know each kid is different, but there are some apps she opens and is mesmerized with - and others she just turns off 1-2-3.

Other than Angry Birds, Let's Golf,Thomas the Train, and Air Hockey, my kids (2&4) like this app called "Talking Carl". The kids talk into it and "Carl" the red monster, repeats it in a silly voice.

They crack themselves up with this thing.
They usually lose interest after 5 minutes which is good b/c after that it can get a little annoying.
post #307 of 354
Thread Starter 
One of my boys LOVES that Flightcontrol game
post #308 of 354
Thread Starter 
I have to resurrect this thread with this gem for all the parents of toddlers out there - some of this will surely resonate

http://www.majordojo.com/GoTheFtoSleep.pdf
post #309 of 354
^ lol... good one gdl!
post #310 of 354
post #311 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
I have to resurrect this thread with this gem for all the parents of toddlers out there - some of this will surely resonate

it seems the author has been spying on our family bedtime routine
post #312 of 354
first kid due in 3 weeks. woot!
post #313 of 354
Thread Starter 
My kid is such a newyorker - the first words that he read spontaneously on his own were "hot dog" and "new york"... biggrin.gif
post #314 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post

My kid is such a newyorker - the first words that he read spontaneously on his own were "hot dog" and "new york"... biggrin.gif


My daughter's first word was "shoes!!!"

(she takes after me, I guess.)
post #315 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai View Post

My daughter's first word was "shoes!!!"
(she takes after me, I guess.)

my son didn't say anything for a while. then, one day we visited the US (before we lived here) and we are walking in a park, he sees some ducks (he had never seen a live duck before) points at it and says "duck" . my wife and I jsut cracked up
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