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Some dude grabbed my wife's ass - Page 3

post #31 of 294
10/13/08 at 1:50pm
you did the right thing. anything short of murder is acceptable when it comes to dudes violating your wife.
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post #32 of 294
10/13/08 at 1:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by distinctive View Post
So my wife and I and several of her friends went out after the Ga/Tn game in Athens Sat. I'm watching the Fl/LSU game in another part of the bar when my wife comes up to me. She can be a drama queen sometimes but she tells me that some guy just grabbed her ass. Now I was ready to blow this off but she tells me it wasn't a tap but an actual grab and squeeze. Not only that, she confronted him and he says "You liked it." That was the final straw.

I'm not normally a confrontational person but things like this really get me going (that and I've had a few beers to boot). I go up to him and he starts playing dumb like what are you talking about...who?...etc. Then I say "her"-referring to my wife behind me and quirks this little smile. That really ticks me off and so I go into angry husband mode and start versing him on how he should learn to respect women. He tries to walk away and I grab his shoulder, he cusses me out and I throw him down in the bar...classy right? So he gets up and starts like shaking his PBR at me like a drunken fool. A few final words and my wife forces me to leave the bar.

I got some points with the wife but I wasn't really proud of my actions.

How would you have handled the situation?

I'd say you handled yourself pretty honorably. I've always said: why hit someone when you can throw 'em instead? You definitely earned those points with the wife. In the end, you walked away...that does take class to do as our egos always want us to fight.
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post #33 of 294
10/13/08 at 1:52pm
She was asking for it. Just kidding
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post #34 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:00pm
why take your wife to a bar? and to a college bar at at that? you were asking for trouble. also, i have this long story i don't feel like typing out right now, but to make it short: you never know who is carrying a knife, and someone with a knife can kill you in an instant. avoid conflict with strangers as much as possible. edit: if your wife were so special as to merit violence because someone grabbed her, perhaps she would also be too special to hang out at some dive bar where people drink beer and watch football games.
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post #35 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:02pm
Being protective of your wife is kinda expected. Most men know this instinctively and will apologize on the spot. That fact this guy mouthed off instead of saying, "Sorry, didn't mean any disrespect" validates an escalation. He didn't think you'd do anything, so he pushed it.

You did him a favor in the long run. Next time he'll either A) not grab random ladies rear ends or B) realize there are consequences, and apologize instead of being a prick.


I've had two instances with this. One where someone apologized, and one where they didn't. Both were at bars/clubs (don't frequent them much anymore).

....
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post #36 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:09pm
Is this the ITG reunion party? The one were assault and battery are promoted widely? Great. Nice thread.

There is something extraordinarily backwards, cro-magnonesque and mysoginistic about a man completely over-reacting about anything surrounding his female...

(no please - don't break my knee caps)
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post #37 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:10pm
Shit is not cool even when it is ass-grabbing. But excusing it is even worse. So if you take a wrong turn and end up in the ghetto you deserve to be shot? Or if a girl wears a low-cut dress she is asking, nee begging, to get raped?

Overall, teach him a lesson. Your reaction was warranted at the very least.
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post #38 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:12pm
From my clouded European point of view, don't the Americans have some pretty tough laws on sexual harassment? Call the cops (you don't know if this guy is armed and then who will protect your wife's rear end?) and have him taken away. Maybe a night in jail will be more helpful than your pushing him. What could he get for an offence like that? Would they cut his cock off or send him straight to the gas-chamber?
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post #39 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
Is this the ITG reunion party? The one were assault and battery are promoted widely? Great. Nice thread.
i'm with you. perhaps i'm a bit jaded, but someone grabbing someone your wife's ass should not merit you losing your cool. violence can lead to you being harmed, which is not worth it, or the other guy calling the police on you, which again is not worth it.

if anything, you should teach your wife to hit the guy herself.
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post #40 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:25pm
I would say that matodor and GD both have a good, strong point, but the OP was perfectly in his rights to do what he did.
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post #41 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
There is something extraordinarily backwards, cro-magnonesque and mysoginistic about a man completely over-reacting about anything surrounding his female...

(no please - don't break my knee caps)

We may be in the 21st century but you're never going to get around the fact that men are still bigger than women, and this will always have an effect on our gender roles. If she could've turned around and knocked him out there's a pretty good chance the guy wouldn't have touched her in the first place. If some chick grabbed his crotch, do you think his wife wouldn't have been plenty upset?
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post #42 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravitas View Post
Shit is not cool even when it is ass-grabbing. But excusing it is even worse. So if you take a wrong turn and end up in the ghetto you deserve to be shot? Or if a girl wears a low-cut dress she is asking, nee begging, to get raped?

Overall, teach him a lesson. Your reaction was warranted at the very least.

God, are you even trying that bullshit? You may think that switching out the word rape in my post is witty and clever, but it's just putting words in my mouth in an attempt to use a dramatic tactic instead of a real argument.

I said clearly that I don't approve of any woman being molested, but if you conciously decide to hang out in a place that is known for and frequented for a bit of grab ass then you need to accept that it might happen.

Even though I am straight I have been to gay clubs which are known for being meat markets where people get quite physical. I go (with gay friends) knowing this, and when my ass gets grabbed, I accept that it comes as part of the package (no pun). I also clearly said that the OP was right in confronting him, but this jackass mentality of "aint no-one gonna touch my woman" (coming more from the peanut gallery responses to this thread than the OP) is neanderthal.

No, I don't condone guys grabbing my girlfriend's ass, but if I were to take her to a Belushis or Walkabout (crap London bars with ass grabbing atmospheres), then both she and I would go knowing that either one of our asses might get grabbed. She is also grown woman who knows how to handle herself and doesnt have to come running for help when the some guy at the bar gets slightly out of line.

K
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post #43 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:36pm
Brian - the operative part of my sentence you quoted is "over-reacting". I never said men shouldn't protect or defend their girlfriends and wives. I'm saying all that humongus pile of BS about breaking someone's fingers because he said something you didn't like about your girl is (a) completely inappropriate, an over-reaction and most likely a misdemeanor, and (b) mysoginistic - she can insult the guy, ask him to apologize, slap him... Taking over her due response is treating your wife like a piece of property, not like her own person.

BTW, I don't think the OP's reaction went too far. But the rest of the crap posted in the thread is way too ITG for me, not to mention it is terrible advice for readers. (again, please don't crush my skull with your finger, bmulford)
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post #44 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
Brian - the operative part of my sentence you quoted is "over-reacting". I never said men shouldn't protect or defend their girlfriends and wives. I'm saying all that humongus pile of BS about breaking someone's fingers because he said something you didn't like about your girl is (a) completely inappropriate, an over-reaction and most likely a misdemeanor, and (b) mysoginistic - she can insult the guy, ask him to apologize, slap him... Taking over her due response is treating your wife like a piece of property, not like her own person.

BTW, I don't think the OP's reaction went too far. But the rest of the crap posted in the thread is way too ITG for me, not to mention it is terrible advice for readers. (again, please don't crush my skull with your finger, bmulford)

Fair enough, though obviously your going against very ingrained cultural (and many would argue biological) gender roles. Part of me agrees with you, part of me thinks that any guy that grabs the ass of another dude's wife deserves whatever he gets.
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post #45 of 294
10/13/08 at 2:47pm
The operative question here is how attractive is your wife? If she's 'super hot' and looks great in tight jeans then I don't think you can expect to take her anywhere alcohol is served without somebody grabbing for her ass. You might as well leave her locked in the basement/kitchen/bedroom. . .
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