I'll message in the mods thread...
PS - re " Originally Posted by hopkins_student
Last night I was having dinner with my wife and I meant to say, "please pass the bread." Instead I said, "fuck you, you stupid bitch, you've ruined my life."
Oh wait, I didn't say that."
You know the joke about this one?
A guy boards a train bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat.
He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a deeply bruised,
black eye. "Heck, what a coincidence! We both have black eyes! Mind if
I ask how you got yours?"
"Well," explains the man, "I was at the ticket counter and this
gorgeous blonde with beautiful breasts was behind the counter. When I
asked to purchase a ticket to Pittsburgh, I accidentally blurted out
"˜I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh' and so she sucker-punched me!" The
man continues, "What's your story?"
The other guy explains, "I was at the breakfast table and I meant to
say to my wife, "˜Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties,' but I
accidentally said, "˜You ruined my life you stupid bitch.'"