So glad I came across this tread, lots of good advice. I've very much like the OP and even the same age (20 years old). It's been two years in college, and I still hav'nt "found myself" and people to have lifelong friendships with. I see all of the classmates I knew from high school on Facebook with pictures and postings of their college life, and I get jealous of their experiences. I seem to be literally the only one who doesn't hang out with people or go to parties. I blame my social awkwardness on a few things...for one, I am a son of immigrants (born in the states though), and have a complex about fitting in with the popular, mostly white crowd. I've joined "jock" sports for some of this reason. I've worn Abercrombie in high school because I thought thats what cool kids wore. I've had that goal since middle school, and only recently let it go because of how childish and insecure it sounds. Now all I want is to find a group of people I can be truly comfortable with. There was a year in high school when I hanged out with a few kids above my grade during lunch, and that was probably my favorite experience. I loved who I was when around them because it was the most relaxed and "myself" I've ever been, and ever since. But when they left for senior leave, I ate lunch with a few people from my own grade and eventually in my senior year as well. They were cool, but I never truly felt myself or made meaningful friendships. I've never been one to party either, which I feel is a major disability. It seems that drinking is the key to happiness in college. Same with watching sports, playing video games, and being a typical "dude". None of it really appealed to me, and now reflecting on this, I must be a pretty boring guy. I consider myself to be an introvert around most people, and an outgoing person around a specific few people. It's weird, and I need to work on switching these. Because I think I am a pretty easy going guy, but I have to be completely comfortable around a person in order for me to let loose. Never had a problem with meeting girls. I can start conversations...there's no problem with that...but it's carrying a conversation or trying to take a friendship to the next level (as strange as that sounds) that is challenging to me. Especially with guys, because I just seem to have different tastes than most college guys out there. I'm definitely more mature for my age. I just see no point in being a douche. I had a girlfriend for 3 years. She was actually part of that popular crowd in high school, and is big into her sorority and student government at her college. She has dozens of friends and is outgoing and loves meeting people. We were veeerrry perfect as a couple, and the only setback was that personality-wise we were different. This reason caused a rift, and even though we hope to come back together, she wants to meet other people in the chance that she will be happier with someone else. ( I don't blame her...it's college and we should have fun with others before getting more serious). But DAMN, it's depressing to know that a part of the reason we broke up is because of how different we in personality and in social circles. In college, I focused on my grades, and lived at home for a year to save money. This killed any potential of a social life. After two years of focusing on prerequisite classes, I've finally made it to a professional program, and now I feel the void of not having friends even more. But I'm determined to meet people now. I want to join a fraternity that is related to my program...it's less like undergrad frats but it's still a good way to meet people. Hopefully I can be more comfortable around myself so I can be more comfortable around others.
That's why I broke up with mine...
