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Probably good for being on your Vespa zipping around Italia perhaps.
Indeed, was just clarifying that they weren't on the knees.
Perhaps, alas, I do not have a Vespa.
This...I know.
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This...I know too. They're going back tomorrow.

More SFA sale...no chain stitching involved...
...and I hate myself for buying this pair, but I've almost bought them on 4 separate occasions now... (Click to show)
I know you have had a lot of comments about returning them, but I think you can pull them off if worn in the right setting- I could see them working if you wore them in the country dressed down a bit as an alternative to jeans. I'd wear them.
The thing that strikes me is that you wanted to buy them 4 different times- if you like them that much then put on some Red Wings, head upstate and make them work!