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Do you find that emotional resilience is trainable and can be developed, or do you think people have what they have and can't voluntarily move the needle much in either direction?
I think that some people come in with more or less of it. IME, it can be developed, but just like any mental and physical traits, you have just so much raw material to work with. Some people are born with great intelligence, or the ability to grow to 6'6" and 250 lbs of lean muscle, and some people are naturally tougher. As with most things, it's half nature, and half nurture, so unless you start with a toddler, a lot of that development is done by the time you get them at 16, or 18, or 20 (or older). If someone's been told that their **** smells like roses, it's pretty hard for them to accept that it actually smells as bad as anyone elses. On the other hand, if outwardly tough kids are pretty sensitive, and crack hard, especially if they've developed that facade of toughness to mask other insecurities. I think that developing confidence hand-in-hand with humility has got to be one of the toughest tasks for any parent.