my wife and I have a great give and take relationship, but in retrospect I see that what for me was a great party, for her was something that she had thought about al her life and had very specific thoughts about. Where as I have very few family connections, she is very attached to a large and extended family. the bottom line, what she wanted was more important to me that what I wanted, in terms of the wedding. I really can't imagine any men that I know having given too much thought to their weddings, and it seems a very logical place to let your wife have her way.
Right, if a person does not especially care about particular choices, then there is no question. Â I am just raising the point of people who give up on trying to have a conversation about issues. Â It is saddening for me to see men or women unhappy in their marriage because they let the other person make the decisions. Â Give and take, as you said, that's the key. Â In my marriage, I don't feel that I am asked to give up much, if anything. Â I hope he doesn't ever. I never had a picture of what my wedding day would be like. Â I only knew I wanted it to be about love, not about dress choices and white flowers in little girls' hair. Â Once I met my future husband, the choices we made for the wedding just came naturally. But man, it's unbelievable the amount of social pressure when it comes to weddings, pregnancy, raising children... You'd better not walk a different path, or else... Â I still remember the time I told one of my friends that no, I wouldn't do the garter belt thing. Â It was as if it were the most anti-American statement there is. Â He felt cheated, somehow. In the end, I think he enjoyed our unconventional, unpredictable wedding. Â