Quote:
Originally Posted by
thinman 
Take time for yourself and enjoy life on your own. Get to the point where you know you have a lot to offer before you start dating again. Then date because it's fun, not because you're looking for a girl friend. If you can do this, you won't need to be a "dick", you simply won't waste your time on women who won't give you what you need from a relationship, be it pussy or anything else. It'll also free you to ask more or less directly for what you want.
Seconded.
You can't come from a needy mindset - but the best way to get out of that mindset isn't to pretend to be an asshole or really confident. Believe me, it's really hard to convincingly pretend to be confident if you are not - you will be seen through most likely. But if you concentrate on your life and being independent and doing the things you love to do, you will become naturally confident.
Once you are naturally confident - you can choose what to do. It's the same as with style - once you understand all the rules, you can break them and its okay. You want to have some fun and be an asshole (i.e. tease and be jokingly rude, etc, not be a real dick), well you can. You want to be a sweetheart and taker her out for dinner and drinks? You CAN. I used to be scared to paying for a girl because I thought she would think I am trying too hard. Then I got to the point where I really WANTED to take girls out once in a while. And girls are smart - they can tell when you are doing something because you desperately want something and when you are doing it because you feel like it.
See, I don't think it matters if you are sweet or a "dick". A girl will see past that, as long as you are a real person underneath and you can put away your facade and show your rea when you guys are alone, at dinner or in bed or whatnot. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, and I realized what true confidence is. It is when you
know that if a girl really gets to know you well, she is almost certain to like you and want to be with you, because you are genuine and make her feel good. I don't know for sure, but I think that's a confidence you develop once you have been in a few good relationships. That's when you stop having to pretend and can just be yourself and not worry about it.
Sorry this post was all over the place, but hopefully there's something helpful in there.
