Gentleman of the jury, After having have read this discussion with great interest, I thought to add a few lines. First off, know that I'm only speaking for myself, a woman of 24, single, college educated, who has taken enough hits that she no longer thinks she knows it all when it comes to men and relationships. What I believe foremost is that all human interactions have the potential for limitless complexity. Â People are sensitive and social creatures, and it is natural that they long to be together. When I first meet a man, I am not primarily concerned with how he looks. Â I focus more on how I feel in his presence. Â If I feel like myself, if I can "be myself," then I naturally feel more open, and I will try to get to know him, and he will try to get to know me. Â This phase of relationships is, for me, a slow and enjoyable process, albeit involves a great amount of risk in that I make myself vulnerable. During the getting to know you phase, in the beginning, if I am comfortable, I will begin to take note of how a man looks. Â In this forum, we are concerned with clothes, I understand. Â Nevertheless, a man who has made me comfortable in his presence is one who-- makes eye contact is comfortable in his own skin has nothing to prove is interested in getting to know me actively listens has a sense of humor does not take himself too seriously I grow more interested in a man if he-- is passionate about something, regardless of whether this passion has matured is not trying to get me in to bed right from the starting line Clothes become interesting to me if the man is interested in clothes. Â I am sure there are a hundred variations for each variation of a woman, so again, let me emphasize, I speak only for myself. What I fear for the dating men on this forum is that they aren't having the experiences they should be having with women because of this barrier called clothes. Â That probably sounds a little weird. Â What I mean to say is, clothes, looks, style, these things are secondary or tertiary to eye contact, being at ease, making others at ease in their presence. My advice (oh, this is dangerous): dress in what makes you comfortable and get to know as many women as you can with no secondary agenda. Â Is this a Zen trick? Â Perhaps. Â But just get yourself out there, get to know us, learn about us quirky, fascinating creatures, for that is what you are to us. Â Once you've taken that step, I think a lot of the other stuff works itself out. Perhaps this post is but a rehash of what others have said. Â Sorry to drag you through it again. Kisses.