Do Women Really Love Stylish men? - Page 2

The vast majority of my dating experience has been with middle-class American white women. Overwhelmingly they impress me as a petty, timid creatures. By and large, I don't think they like men of elegance and style. In first place, they are so habituated to the "slob" look of the average American male, that they fear that a man of elegance and refinement is probably, at best, a gay man using them for a smokescreen, at worst a Hannibal Lecter-like serial killer who is going to cut them into little pieces and stuff them in the trunk of his car. They also don't like to be outclassed in the style department--this is a chronic source of tension between my wife and myself. I also think most women are put off by any kind of male attire with a touch of offbeat panache, e.g., spectators, fedoras. For that matter, although women may claim they like "intelligence" in a man, unless it takes the forum of shrewdness and financial acumen, they (for the most part) don't like intellect and erudition. Actually, I find lower-class women are often more attracted to masculine elegance. They are generally bolder than their insipid middle-class counterparts and also are impressed by men they consider "classy." In the end, though, it really comes down to money, "Poor is to men as ugly is to women."

stylish? yes. self-absorbed? no.

Now there's a pick-up line. If you said that near my middle-class American white wife, you'd need a getaway vehicle.

I've dated women of many different ethnicities, nationalities, and socioeconomic statuses (sp?) and I've found that if a woman is middle class, white, and American, she is more prone to be a little more reserved and a little less effusive. That said, it's a huge generalization for which the exception is more common than the norm, imho. Maybe my dating experiences were just less negative than yours.

yeah, this doesn't sound like a quote from somebody who really likes women, sorry. look, when a guy is 18 he is looking for big tits and long legs and a low tolerence for alchohol. when he is 30, he is a looking for a good mother and friend, and when he is 45 maybe he is back looking for the big tits and long legs. when a woman is 18 she is looking for a himbo - bar body, long hair, leather pants and flashy cheap car. when she is 30 she is looking for a man who can insure that her family will be taken care of and who will keep her safe in the long term. raging stereotypes aside, the things that we would like women to like usually aren't the things that they like. just like we don't find atractive encyclapedic knowledge of "sex in the city" or a large collection of shoes. we would love it if the most beutiful women thought that extensive knowledge of video games and the lord of the rings was sexy. but they don't, usually. if you idea of style is spending an hour choosing the right pocket square to wear, then you will probrably not get laid a lot. ditto if your idea of style is fedoras and spectators, or viking hats and furry vests. if you can throw on an outfit from your closet in 5 minutes and be at home in a boardroom, a baseball game, a bar or an opera, and feel comfortable wearing that outfit while walking on the beach or sitting on the grass, then you will probrably have the type of style that fits comfortably. and, yet, some women will still not want to sleep with you. such is life.

Me thinks "stylish" is something of a bad word when speaking of men. I'd bet that if you took 2 pictures of the same guy and told women one was considered by friends to be "stylish" and the other picture (shown to other women) labeled the guy as "well-dressed" that the women would overwhelmingly find the "well-dressed" guy to be the more attractive, appealing one. "Stylish" to me conveys a message of trendiness or excessive (insecure) concern for dress, whereas "well-dressed" conveys something much simpler -- someone who has good quality clothes and knows how to dress appropriately for any occasion, be that a wedding, a weekend barbeque or a business cocktail party. In sum, I'd be happy to be labeled well-dressed but would have some reservations about being labeled stylish. I would guess that many women think along similar lines, or would like to, about their men.

the other point that nobody touched here - if you are stylish, and you enjoy being so, what do you care if women love you for it or not? or, are you being stylish cause you think it will get you some? with any luck, you will find the right person who loves you for the package you offer - if I did it, you can too.

Funny this thread popped up today as I've been thinking about this very topic myself. My sister -- who is no slouch in the clothes department herself -- once told me that my habit of being well-dressed was probably intimidating to women. Even in our "high-end" bars up here in northern Ontario the crowd is dressed up in the standard American Jackass look of jeans and an untucked shirt or jeans, shirt, backwards baseball cap. I'm one of two or three wearing a sport jacket or suit. Now I could frankly care less what people think of how I dress -- I do it for myself, not others -- but I could see how she's right. Rather disappointing.

Attraction between man and woman is a very interesting and complicated concept.  In the end, I don't think clothes will ever impress a woman - at least I have never seen it happen.  If we are going to be well dressed men we must do it for ourselves. As much as I may regret it, all the Kiton/Brioni/Zegna clothes in the world are never going to get one laid. I do think that poor dress can be a deal breaker for some women - just as something like facial hair on a woman can(should?) be a deal breaker for us men.  Yikes.

Your sister was being nice.  I would say that her comment was that you tend to be overdressed for the occasion, and maybe tend to be a little uptight.  I'm not saying that you ought to conform to the uniform, but you could wear something classy, but a little more toned down and relaxed than your avatar (well dressed for sure; but his expression suggests that he needs some Metamucil, pronto).  Try corduroy or moleskin jackets instead of wool, and classic jeans with a cashmere longsleeve knit.  And wear good quality, but old and well used shoes instead of immaculate Lattanzi's.  It will make you more look more laidback; and you'll be surprised that you'll even feel a little more relaxed.

I posted this in a similar thread 2 months ago or so - when I was doing a lot of blind dating at the time that I met my present wife, I made a concious effort to "soften" up my image. I was very proffetional and tough, and altough my friends know that I have a sense of humor and can be pretty nice, women I was dating were getting a very cold vibe. so I made an effort to present myself in a softer light. and it worked well. I strongly suggest dressing to present your self as you wish to be seen by the date. not in an effort to lie or misrepresent, but if you know that it is hard to see your (insert adjective here) side in the first 5 minutes, but it is important to you to present it, try to show it by how you dress when you are on a date or out trolling for women.

I can't possibly quote everyone that posted here because each one has points that make a lot of sense so I will not quote simply because of the sheer volume. From my perspective, a stylish guy is not something girls look for in a guy. In fact, the more of a slouch, the better it is sometimes. The reason being is that it makes her feel important to improve your look. It's makes her feel "needed" in a sense. Let's face it, there are not many women out there that are truly stylish. I have looked at a few women's mags over the years and I have to say, if after reading all of those articles on matching, what works with what, what works with which body types, color coordination, etc., she would have to be a complete retard not to learn the basics of dress. However, it seems that this over abundance of information have made woman basically a sheep to fashion. If you take away these magazines from them for just a few months, I wonder to myself how bad they would actually look. Also, let's face it... A woman doesn't have to do much to get the attention(ie.. the less clothes, the more attractive ). It all about provocation if I think about it. A tight top, hip hugging pants, short skirts, you name it... these things all get men staring until we run into a pole or fall down a manhole. This has brought me to this conclusion. It's great someone created this thread. Clothes for a majority of women and some men are in a sense a barrier. It's almost like it puts them at ease because they dress a bit better then the next person. For women, the easiest thing and also the most accepted for them is to dress up. So, the point is that clothes for them hides their insecurities, lack of power, etc. in other parts of their lives. I am not saying this applies to all but for a good number, the more stylish, trendy, outlandish, provactive... The more they are insecure about themselves. So when a guy is stylish, it's almost like they have nothing else that can make them feel "superior". What us men have to watch for is keeping in check what is appropriate. For most women, a well-dressed man is I think a positive thing. When you get to the point of being stylish, it becomes a bit more sketchy. Strictly speaking about the U.S. as Europeans and Asians(to a lesser or greater extent depending on various cultures), men aren't supposed to think about clothes. This whole trend right now in the U.S focusing on men's clothes I hope doesn't last long cause the clothes they created are too out there to ever be part of a true man's wardrobe. I believe all those threads about what to wear to interviews, office attire are a godsend because it displays a sense of restraint that is definitely a needed mindset for anyone learning the finer points of dress. The most important thing to realize is to make the people you are in contact with comfortable with themselves. Dressing well and appropriately is part of that. To end it, any woman that appreciates a well-dressed stylish man is the woman you should consider being with. Notice the use of well-dressed before stylish. There, I have finished my manifesto -HitMan009

I think you'd be surprised to find out that I'm hardly overdressed considering the milieu. As I said, I go to high-end bars, not sports bars. I'm not walking in wearing Kiton, Alexander Kabbaz and Lattanzi complete with seven fold tie and beautiful pocket square -- I'm walking in wearing a casual sport jacket, pants and shoes or a suit and shirt with no tie. If that's overdressed then fine, I'll live with it. I'm not wearing jeans. As for "little uptight"? Ha ha, no. No one who knows me would ever say that. Being laidback is my life.

I have no basis from which to judge other than your posts, so I could be completely off the mark. On the other hand, I know hardly anyone (in my real, day-to-day life) who disdains to wear jeans ever.

It is truly a sad state of affairs. At the risk of receiving my share of strong responses.......why is there even the slightest notion, that a woman wouldn't be attracted to a well-dressed, stylish or fashion-savvy man. Whatever you call it is your own individual choice. Stylish being perceived as feminine is such an outdated perception, it is the man that understands the woman's emotions and sensitivities that will be attractive to a woman. How do you understand these things......by being aware....tuned in to her needs.....and secure about yourself. A woman not being attracted to a well-dressed man and preferring a so called slob to give her a sense of security is an absolute joke. Is that why the "average" guy dresses so poorly, so he can attract a needy female, that will succumb to all is whishes and has no spine? Maybe my upbringing was old world, but it is my personal pride to look my very best at every occasion, because I respect my personal environment and if that makes me the best dressed, so be it. It attracts the confident worldly woman, who appreciates when a man takes care of himself, because she does so herself. I am fortunate enough to travel to New York, London, Amsterdam, Milan and my favorite city in the world Florence frequently and can tell you from first hand experience.......there is nothing more romantic than being in a well-dressed environment and striking up a conversation with a gorgeous woman and be informed about culture, art, fashion, food, wine, traveldestinations and mutual interests of any kind. As far as my dating experience African-American woman are so much more in tune with fashion trends and happenings, because most current trends start in the urban areas of the large city's. And let me tell you this as a Caucasian man.......Black woman LOVE a man that dresses to the nines..... So I guess it is no surprise I am currently dating a tall beautiful African-American woman from New Jersey, who is a make-up artist and a former model. There is still in these times a stigma about inter racial couples but for me it is about what I like as an individual.......damn the world.....if they can't handle the heat, don't be in the kitchen. Dress the part.....be an individual.......show them your stuff.....and you'll attract exactly that woman that is meant for you......................