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Dating is dead - Page 6

post #76 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by greg_atlanta View Post
I don't think the article is about dating, it's about an adversity to scheduling. People would rather lurk around and mull over what they can do NOW. Planning something in advance is an admission that you couldn't possibly have something more cool to do on short notice (the horror).

I think this is insightful.
post #77 of 92
Complete agree with the article. It's a new era we're in. Our fast-paced lives doesn't really allow nor respect dating (or courting as that's what we really seem to be talking about). I personally agree with this as let's be honest, not too many of us really have the time to spare to prepare for and actually go on formal dates. It really is much easier to "hook up" than to go through the trials and tribulations of the type of dating which happened in past generations.

Btw, 22 year old male 1 year out of University..so yes my views are very skewed and jaded.
post #78 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by imranb View Post
Complete agree with the article. It's a new era we're in. Our fast-paced lives doesn't really allow nor respect dating (or courting as that's what we really seem to be talking about). I personally agree with this as let's be honest, not too many of us really have the time to spare to prepare for and actually go on formal dates. It really is much easier to "hook up" than to go through the trials and tribulations of the type of dating which happened in past generations.

Btw, 22 year old male 1 year out of University..so yes my views are very skewed and jaded.

One can attribute whatever reasons they want for this phenomenon, but don't give me the spare time argument. As someone that's been doing a consistent 80-90 hours a week, on occasion over 100, for the last year and half, I was still able to schedule dates in advance. In fact, I prefer it that way because after a long week it gives me something definite to look forward to. The other way is fine too, but it's because you prefer to leave your schedule open until the last minute, not because you can't possibly find time to slot someone in. There are very few people that can legitimately use that excuse imo.
post #79 of 92
Hum, well, this article defines what dating is for most young people nowadays, I guess. It is not the case with my circle of friends though as dating is still very much common for us. The girls that I tend to target also expect me to invite them on date.

Basically, while it is not as "necessary" as it was, dating certainly is not dead. And as for the 'time' thing, well, the busiest persons that I know actually go on dates.
post #80 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek View Post
One can attribute whatever reasons they want for this phenomenon, but don't give me the spare time argument. As someone that's been doing a consistent 80-90 hours a week, on occasion over 100, for the last year and half, I was still able to schedule dates in advance. In fact, I prefer it that way because after a long week it gives me something definite to look forward to. The other way is fine too, but it's because you prefer to leave your schedule open until the last minute, not because you can't possibly find time to slot someone in. There are very few people that can legitimately use that excuse imo.

I agree. It's not being busy that causes people to not date. Scheduled dates are much much better for someone who has a busy schedule.

I think, sometimes anyway, the problem is they just want to keep their options wide open. If they schedule a date, then an awesome party comes up, well... you don't wanna miss the party to go on some silly date with someone you aren't sure will put out. Hell, there are probably 10 girls at this awesome party who'll go to bed with you.

If it's not a date, then it's also less serious, so you can be seeing 3 or more girls at once and it's 'cool'.

They also don't wanna be rejected. If there's no date, then it's not serious, and if they get turned it's not a problem.

Shallow, lazy, fickle and detached.

... That all sounded a bit more aggressive than it probably should have. It's late and I've been drinking! I've done the whole casual seeing girls not dating them thing too. Although I think most of the above rules fit me when I was like that.
post #81 of 92
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shraka View Post
I agree. It's not being busy that causes people to not date. Scheduled dates are much much better for someone who has a busy schedule.

I think, sometimes anyway, the problem is they just want to keep their options wide open. If they schedule a date, then an awesome party comes up, well... you don't wanna miss the party to go on some silly date with someone you aren't sure will put out. Hell, there are probably 10 girls at this awesome party who'll go to bed with you.

If it's not a date, then it's also less serious, so you can be seeing 3 or more girls at once and it's 'cool'.

They also don't wanna be rejected. If there's no date, then it's not serious, and if they get turned it's not a problem.

Shallow, lazy, fickle and detached.

... That all sounded a bit more aggressive than it probably should have. It's late and I've been drinking! I've done the whole casual seeing girls not dating them thing too. Although I think most of the above rules fit me when I was like that.

I think some of your ideas are right on point. I disagree with the shallowness and laziness - I do not think that because someone prefers dating multiple people they are shallow - they could be getting to know these people very well. I also don't think it's being lazy - if you are not in the market for an exclusive relationship (i.e. the reason some people aren't is that they don't want a girl to become attached and then heart-broken 4 months later - I used to think this way) it may be because it doesn't suit your life at that time.

However, I think the rest is spot on. Good post.
post #82 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by Augusto86 View Post
They said in 1980. And 1960. And 1940. And 1920. I'm sure our hunter-gatherer forefathers shook their heads and grunted in quiet despair at the crazy youngsters with their "Farms" and "Agriculture." 'Thog think humanity doomed. Youth today too lazy to hunt mammoth and bang wife on head.'

If we listen to the old, humanity has been in a death spiral towards oblivion since day 1. I think we'll get by.

I guess this just means that the world's always been in a sorry state....Cuz it has.
post #83 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
I think some of your ideas are right on point. I disagree with the shallowness and laziness - I do not think that because someone prefers dating multiple people they are shallow - they could be getting to know these people very well. I also don't think it's being lazy - if you are not in the market for an exclusive relationship (i.e. the reason some people aren't is that they don't want a girl to become attached and then heart-broken 4 months later - I used to think this way) it may be because it doesn't suit your life at that time.

However, I think the rest is spot on. Good post.

Firstly, thank you. I'm glad I can be spot on while my vision faded in and out (not too drunk, and not too tired, but the combination of the two is quite strong!)

My post was in regards to most of the people who are like this. I'm sure some aren't shallow, but a lot are. Or a lot that I've seen anyway. They may not be a shallow person, but they are often being shallow. When I was having flings with one girl after the next, and not being serious about anything, I was being very shallow. I couldn't get to know any of them well because things just moved too damned fast. But anyway, I agree, not all are shallow. My point was more these are the problems, and that people who are like this have a mix of those problems, not that one has to have the complete gamete of these problems to be like this.

As for lazy, I absolutely disagree. It is more often than not very lazy, but again, it's not always lazy. You don't put anything on the line, (in that way it may actually be cowardly) and you rarely have to put much effort in. What's more lazy, having a girl around to watch a movie and have a pizza then seducing her with a massage? Or getting dressed up, planning a date, then taking her out to a nice restaurant, perhaps out to a movie, dancing or just a night on the town and showing her a great time? I've done both of these things and I can tell you the first one is much less effort. You wouldn't even need to get out of your track pants... not that I've worn track pants since I was 12 except the pair I recently bought strictly for the gym.

I think I'm going to go to sleep now before I devolve into more aggressive jabs at things that annoy me about society and my past behavior.
post #84 of 92
http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_vi...ml?id=4200790n Bob Schieffer from Face the Nation on dating.
post #85 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by LVoer View Post
http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_vi...ml?id=4200790n

Bob Schieffer from Face the Nation on dating.

Though he makes generalizations he's not far off at all. I went to Europe last summer and noticed that there were far more couples than there were roaming groups of the same sex. I prefer the Parisian way.
post #86 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by Augusto86 View Post
They said in 1980. And 1960. And 1940. And 1920. I'm sure our hunter-gatherer forefathers shook their heads and grunted in quiet despair at the crazy youngsters with their "Farms" and "Agriculture." 'Thog think humanity doomed. Youth today too lazy to hunt mammoth and bang wife on head.'

If we listen to the old, humanity has been in a death spiral towards oblivion since day 1. I think we'll get by.

Said the Mayan wise guy, circa 900 BC.
post #87 of 92
This whole too busy to date thing is laughable if you ask me. If you ever get told this more than once from a woman you just met, forget her. She probably has just enough going on to make it look like no time is available to avoid you. I find it incredibly difficult to believe that a person would keep themselves so busy that they are unable to spare even 30 minutes out of a week for even a simple casual date. If you ever come across somebody really interested in you, they will find the time.
post #88 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by clarity View Post
This whole too busy to date thing is laughable if you ask me. If you ever get told this more than once from a woman you just met, forget her. She probably has just enough going on to make it look like no time is available to avoid you. I find it incredibly difficult to believe that a person would keep themselves so busy that they are unable to spare even 30 minutes out of a week for even a simple casual date.

If you ever come across somebody really interested in you, they will find the time.

+ 1.

If she is interested in having a conversation with you, she will make the time.
post #89 of 92
Dating is fine.

If no one will date you, then you're either ugly or boring as all hell. Both of which can be remedied by large amounts of alcohol. Coincidence? I think not.
post #90 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by celery View Post
Dating is fine.

If no one will date you, then you're either ugly or boring as all hell. Both of which can be remedied by large amounts of alcohol. Coincidence? I think not.

Or you live in Seattle.
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