Styleforum › Forums › Lifestyle › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Dating is dead
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Dating is dead

post #1 of 92
6/12/08 at 6:16pm
Thread Starter 
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/08/fa...wanted=1&ei=50
70&en=4c2811b9d03f240a&ex=1213761600&emc=eta1

I haven't read an article that better describes the world of "dating" for 20 somethings. This is 100% spot on in my experience, and it's a rather interesting shift in the way the sexes relate.
Reply
Reply
post #2 of 92
6/12/08 at 6:39pm
That article makes me sad inside.
Reply
Reply
post #3 of 92
6/12/08 at 6:46pm
If dating is dead, then why am I broke?
Reply
Reply
post #4 of 92
6/12/08 at 6:48pm
Jellied eels.
Reply
Reply
post #5 of 92
6/12/08 at 9:27pm
Note that the writer is a 21 year old college student in LA.
Reply
Reply
post #6 of 92
6/12/08 at 9:36pm
I agree. I fancy myself a bit of a traditionalist, so I tried to bring back the date for a while, but never had much success with women that way. All my successes (in both the long-term and short-term sense of the word) came from the more "modern" methods of courtship the author describes.

It's too bad, but it's no use fighting it - the women of my generation (same as the author's) just don't roll like that.

Once in a long-term-relationship, however, women seem to love dates with their men. Funny how that works
Reply
Reply
post #7 of 92
6/12/08 at 10:01pm
That was similar for me in college (96/01) but once out I had to meet women in the "normal" way.
Reply
Reply
post #8 of 92
6/12/08 at 10:29pm
It's sad but true. There isn't much majesty, subtlety or class anymore. Flirting is not a fine art as much as it is a clumsy brute force attack on the other persons senses. Make some sly remarks, try to reel them in slowly and they don't even notice what you're doing and get bored. You pretty much have to whip it out and say "How bout it?" before woman in the 18 to 24 year old range understand what you're doing and what's going on. It doesn't help that in Australian culture getting absolutely shit-faced is just 'gentle social lubricant' and what everyone in this age range does all the time.

If you plan a project, work for weeks or months at slowly getting to know a girl, and integrate yourself in her life, by the time you get to the point of a relationship chances are she well have had sex with 3 other guys and decided one of them would be better to date in the time you spent laying the groundwork.



Perhaps girls who are up around 25-30 have more style and class, and dating might actually require more finesse rather than heavy handed, ham fisted tactics. I don't know, I've been off the market since I was 24.
Reply
Reply
post #9 of 92
6/14/08 at 8:06am
That is a great article, summed up our social life basically.

"On some level, we envy the scope of their feelings, but we certainly don't want to become them. "

Authors got talent.
Reply
Reply
post #10 of 92
6/14/08 at 11:14am
this hits super close to home. good read.
Reply
Reply
post #11 of 92
6/14/08 at 11:27am
Is there an SF user/pass for NYT, I can't bring myself to register.

Quote:
Originally Posted by contactme_11 View Post
If dating is dead, then why am I broke?

Because you are the "nice guy" chicks love to pretend to love.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shraka View Post
If you plan a project, work for weeks or months at slowly getting to know a girl, and integrate yourself in her life, by the time you get to the point of a relationship chances are she well have had sex with 3 other guys and decided one of them would be better to date in the time you spent laying the groundwork.

Ain't this the truth. Don't worry dear, while you were off having an orgy in the frat house, I was working on baking you cookies!
Reply
Reply
post #12 of 92
6/14/08 at 12:02pm
The article's misleading...dating is only as dead as you want it to be! More than thirty-five years ago I used to don my flightsuit and a picnic basket and take my lady to a beach across the road from the air base. We would snack and watch the sunset, over the lake and then ...go back to base and she would drop me off and watch, as I took off on the night's training mission. Less than two weeks ago, the wife and I sat on a local beach, with a picnic basket, and watched the sun set over the lake and then returned to our home...mission accomplished! Dating is only as dead as you might want it to be (and it need not be prohibitively expensive), but then, perhaps that helps explain the ever escalating divorce rates. A little romance in your and your lady's life, only makes it better!
Reply
Reply
post #13 of 92
6/14/08 at 2:25pm
I read this as "Eating is dead" and thought, hey, I should get on that.
Reply
Reply
post #14 of 92
6/14/08 at 7:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiecollector View Post
Because you are the "nice guy" chicks love to pretend to love.

Really? That's funny because I'm engaged to an absolutely beautiful woman who cooks for me, cleans my apartment, overwhelms me with affection, and she doesn't even live with me yet. Oh yeah, did I mention she likes paying for me when we meet for coffee each morning?
Reply
Reply
post #15 of 92
6/14/08 at 8:15pm
I went into the article with a hefty dose of cynicism, but it's pretty much spot-on. There's very little romanticism in modern dating. I'd like to think the linearity of it all as devolution rather than progression. People are too lazy and stupid to realize the fun is in the dance.
Reply
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Styleforum › Forums › Lifestyle › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Dating is dead