I profusely apologize for not taking you seriously.
Well, to be honest, I don't know any salon in the Orlando area, but I could give you some suggestions in the UK if you'd like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Forkit 
Just a thought.
In the UK, we now use metric measurements, although this has only been since the seventies.
So occasionally we can encounter Imperial size loo seats which have a slightly larger internal diameter.
The net result here is that you sink further down towards the pan, thus increasing the risk of splashbacks as well as forcing the cheeks together.
As a result of this inconvenience hampering my very impeccable requirements for a clean 'winker' I have addressed the issue as follows:
I like to spread my arse cheeks across the seat so they're not pushed together, and on more slippery surfaces like hard plastic, or on even older models, bakelite, a slightly moistened finger run around the seat encourages a slight 'seat to skin' traction effect and usually prevents what I like to call 'one cheek slippage', which as we know, can cause wasteful overuse of toilet paper.
One word of warning: Should you attempt the moistened finger approach and opt to wet it with saliva, take care to remember that this is a one shot deal and remoistening can lead to the potential of nasty diseases.
Now, with spread cheeks, you can poo safely in the knowledge that only the exit point needs cleaning thus reducing the need for toilet paper, of which overusage not only annoys others (like the OP) when your cruddy paper won't flush, but also helps the environment by the reduction of unnessary tree felling.
Another tip:
Take all your shits at work. Not only are you saving money on toilet paper, you are also getting paid for it.
Sometimes it's just the little things that make life better.
