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Dealing with death? - Page 3

post #31 of 37
5/17/08 at 8:33am
micbain it sounds like, given the situation, this goes somewhat beyond grief, to you perhaps blaming yourself. That's surely a tough one, no real words of wisdom but time still does heal. I had a similar situation this year with a close friend, not suicide exactly but a death that may have been preventable if someone who cared realized what was going on. One thing I find that is helping is doing the best I can now to be there for his family. Every circumstance is different of course, but one important point is that you prove yourself in the bad spots in life, not the easy stretches. If someday you look back and say, well, that was awful but I did my best, I think it does help.
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post #32 of 37
5/18/08 at 11:57am
Thread Starter 
Well - I laid my brother to rest yesterday. It was the toughest day of my life and one I will never forget (for the wrong reasons). I am still having a difficult time accepting this as my new reality - I still get up every morning expecting to see my brother during the course of the day....
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post #33 of 37
5/19/08 at 10:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by micbain View Post
Well - I laid my brother to rest yesterday. It was the toughest day of my life and one I will never forget (for the wrong reasons). I am still having a difficult time accepting this as my new reality - I still get up every morning expecting to see my brother during the course of the day....


I'm sorry!! - you are doing the right thing by getting up every morning, just keep doing that, however hard it may be, keep getting up every day!!!

This is clearly one of the most difficult things you have had to face. but although i don't know you and have only read your words, something tells me by your insight that you will work through the loss of your brother. take the time to be good to yourself, and the rest of your family. It looks like this forum has had some very good things to offer to you and us all, so keep coming back if you need too.
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post #34 of 37
5/21/08 at 3:52am
My condolences to everyone. I lost my father to cancer a little over a year ago when I was 17, personally I don't dare to presume to understand what you were going through, as horrible as it is to say I was ready for my father to die, I saw it coming but you had no warning. All you can do is just roll with the punches like the others said. If you're mad, be mad, if your sad be sad, happy be happy. Do what you feel and eventually you'll come back to a state of normal. Not the same normal that was there before your loss, but a new kind of normal that you'll grow accustomed to.
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post #35 of 37
5/23/08 at 2:26pm
Somehow, I usually bounce back ok, even though I can get quite down over it. One thing that has haunted me since I was 15, is a terrible phobia over cancer. I saw the way my grandmother died, the way it took my friend, and another old friend... the list just grows, and I even asked myself out loud "is knowing me a death wish?". Of course, I know that isn't logical, and I don't believe that, but you can't help but wonder sometimes.

I don't want to say that I'm numb to funerals or death, but I do have a way of stonewalling the emotions past a certain point and moving forward. However, this is not to say that I'm not upest anymore, either.

I can't really give any better advice than what has already been posted, but I will tell you, do not be ashamed to cry; I'm not. Sometimes if you just let yourself break down one or more times, you feel as if a demon has left you.

Best of luck to you.
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post #36 of 37
5/26/08 at 3:52am
Sorry to hear about your loss. I lost both my parents already by the age of 32. I'd say what got me through the tough times was to remember that any type of suffering ceased to exist for them once they past, so don't dwell upon feeling bad or sorry for them , because they're in a better place. Live your life as though they are watching you every day. You know they wouldn't want to see you sulking & moping around right?
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post #37 of 37
5/26/08 at 6:26pm
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I wish you and your family the best. It takes time and emotional support from family and friends. This I found, will help get you through the worst of times.

Good luck.
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