or Connect
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Dealing with death?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Dealing with death? - Page 3

post #31 of 44
micbain it sounds like, given the situation, this goes somewhat beyond grief, to you perhaps blaming yourself. That's surely a tough one, no real words of wisdom but time still does heal. I had a similar situation this year with a close friend, not suicide exactly but a death that may have been preventable if someone who cared realized what was going on. One thing I find that is helping is doing the best I can now to be there for his family. Every circumstance is different of course, but one important point is that you prove yourself in the bad spots in life, not the easy stretches. If someday you look back and say, well, that was awful but I did my best, I think it does help.
post #32 of 44
Thread Starter 
Well - I laid my brother to rest yesterday. It was the toughest day of my life and one I will never forget (for the wrong reasons). I am still having a difficult time accepting this as my new reality - I still get up every morning expecting to see my brother during the course of the day....
post #33 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by micbain View Post
Well - I laid my brother to rest yesterday. It was the toughest day of my life and one I will never forget (for the wrong reasons). I am still having a difficult time accepting this as my new reality - I still get up every morning expecting to see my brother during the course of the day....


I'm sorry!! - you are doing the right thing by getting up every morning, just keep doing that, however hard it may be, keep getting up every day!!!

This is clearly one of the most difficult things you have had to face. but although i don't know you and have only read your words, something tells me by your insight that you will work through the loss of your brother. take the time to be good to yourself, and the rest of your family. It looks like this forum has had some very good things to offer to you and us all, so keep coming back if you need too.
post #34 of 44
My condolences to everyone. I lost my father to cancer a little over a year ago when I was 17, personally I don't dare to presume to understand what you were going through, as horrible as it is to say I was ready for my father to die, I saw it coming but you had no warning. All you can do is just roll with the punches like the others said. If you're mad, be mad, if your sad be sad, happy be happy. Do what you feel and eventually you'll come back to a state of normal. Not the same normal that was there before your loss, but a new kind of normal that you'll grow accustomed to.
post #35 of 44
Somehow, I usually bounce back ok, even though I can get quite down over it. One thing that has haunted me since I was 15, is a terrible phobia over cancer. I saw the way my grandmother died, the way it took my friend, and another old friend... the list just grows, and I even asked myself out loud "is knowing me a death wish?". Of course, I know that isn't logical, and I don't believe that, but you can't help but wonder sometimes.

I don't want to say that I'm numb to funerals or death, but I do have a way of stonewalling the emotions past a certain point and moving forward. However, this is not to say that I'm not upest anymore, either.

I can't really give any better advice than what has already been posted, but I will tell you, do not be ashamed to cry; I'm not. Sometimes if you just let yourself break down one or more times, you feel as if a demon has left you.

Best of luck to you.
post #36 of 44
Sorry to hear about your loss. I lost both my parents already by the age of 32. I'd say what got me through the tough times was to remember that any type of suffering ceased to exist for them once they past, so don't dwell upon feeling bad or sorry for them , because they're in a better place. Live your life as though they are watching you every day. You know they wouldn't want to see you sulking & moping around right?
post #37 of 44
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I wish you and your family the best. It takes time and emotional support from family and friends. This I found, will help get you through the worst of times.

Good luck.
post #38 of 44
So I am going through something right now. My dad just passed away(yesterday).. I just found out. The thing is that we were not close recently...however, when I have found out.....my first reaction was.......ok........but today, when I got home from from meeting with his wife(he was re-married), I broke down. He actually had a collage of pictures of him and us 4 kids that I was amazed to see...

I lost my sis(one of the 4 kids) to a motorcycle acident 4 years ago. it's easy to hide behind a login name and say things like this and that.....my sis passed a week before xmas) and now my dad passed just b4 thanksgiving.......

I was going to start a new thread...but I saw this one........Not sure what more to say right now....
post #39 of 44
I'm sorry for your loss! Losing someone so closely related without having had contact for a while is definitely hard. Maybe it helps to get more in touch with some of your other brothers/sisters, your mother, grandparents or maybe even his wife and speak about it/him? That may get you a feel of getting in touch with him to some extent and make it easier for you.
post #40 of 44
I've been going through this as well with my mom basically dying for the last 2 years of cancer. She's finally at a point where I think it's imminent and it's very surreal. I just feel really bad for my dad. He's going to be alone for the first time in over 40 years
post #41 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by ter1413 View Post

So I am going through something right now. My dad just passed away(yesterday).. I just found out.
Sorry for your loss. Wish the best for you and your family.
post #42 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by ter1413 View Post

So I am going through something right now. My dad just passed away(yesterday).. I just found out.


I'm sorry for your loss - to lose 2 family members in such a short period at the holidays, that's just rough.

I lost my dad 4 years ago the day before thanksgiving, in the midst of that long goodbye alzheimer's. A heart attack took him though thankfully. We were all with him when he passed. Instead of hospice, we brought him home where he died in the house where he raised his kids and built with his own hands.

Thanksgiving is still difficult. Last night I was on Youtube and happened upon Scriabin's Piano Concerto with Lazar Berman and in the final moment of the gorgeous Andante the floodgates opened wide as I thought of him and of my mom, who will be gone from us far too soon.

Grief's a funny thing. I don't often remember my dreams and when I do they're generally good. Last week I dreamed of him for the first time that I recall since he passed - smiling, joking, and carrying on just as he appeared in his prime. A sweet dream, I'm thankful and it was wonderful, but poignant for sure.

My thoughts are with you, dude.
post #43 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by ter1413 View Post

So I am going through something right now. My dad just passed away(yesterday).. I just found out. The thing is that we were not close recently...however, when I have found out.....my first reaction was.......ok........but today, when I got home from from meeting with his wife(he was re-married), I broke down. He actually had a collage of pictures of him and us 4 kids that I was amazed to see...
I lost my sis(one of the 4 kids) to a motorcycle acident 4 years ago. it's easy to hide behind a login name and say things like this and that.....my sis passed a week before xmas) and now my dad passed just b4 thanksgiving.......
I was going to start a new thread...but I saw this one........Not sure what more to say right now....

sad to hear, ter.... dealing with death is never easy. hope you find comfort from your family and friends.
post #44 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by b1os View Post

I'm sorry for your loss! Losing someone so closely related without having had contact for a while is definitely hard. Maybe it helps to get more in touch with some of your other brothers/sisters, your mother, grandparents or maybe even his wife and speak about it/him? That may get you a feel of getting in touch with him to some extent and make it easier for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JayJay View Post

Sorry for your loss. Wish the best for you and your family.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RanMan View Post

I'm sorry for your loss - to lose 2 family members in such a short period at the holidays, that's just rough.
I lost my dad 4 years ago the day before thanksgiving, in the midst of that long goodbye alzheimer's. A heart attack took him though thankfully. We were all with him when he passed. Instead of hospice, we brought him home where he died in the house where he raised his kids and built with his own hands.
Thanksgiving is still difficult. Last night I was on Youtube and happened upon Scriabin's Piano Concerto with Lazar Berman and in the final moment of the gorgeous Andante the floodgates opened wide as I thought of him and of my mom, who will be gone from us far too soon.
Grief's a funny thing. I don't often remember my dreams and when I do they're generally good. Last week I dreamed of him for the first time that I recall since he passed - smiling, joking, and carrying on just as he appeared in his prime. A sweet dream, I'm thankful and it was wonderful, but poignant for sure.
My thoughts are with you, dude.

Quote:
Originally Posted by acidboy View Post

sad to hear, ter.... dealing with death is never easy. hope you find comfort from your family and friends.


Tks guys!!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Dealing with death?