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Ever had a relationship with a girl online? Warning: Long Story

post #1 of 28
4/30/08 at 9:11pm
Thread Starter 
I have met 2 girls offline before (6 or 7) years ago and it never made it past 5 or 10 minutes. Well I have been talking to one for over a month now and we have talked on the phone, texted, and even set up a date..........3 times. All three times the day started off the same. I would text in the morning and she would not answer until later on in the afternoon and would make up an excuse like she was extremely busy or she didn't get the message. After the second time I told her that it wasn't worth trying to set up another date because I really felt like she didn't want to hang out and she told me that she really did but thought that I didn't want to. So I thought I might be misunderstanding her and made a date for the following week. The week went fine and we texted everyday for the next week and then the day before I didn't hear from her. I texted her in the evening to ask if she was going to hang out the next day and no response. I waited 3 hours and made sure I texted the same exact text to see if she would respond and she did telling me she was going to but out with friends and would text me in the morning. The next morning comes and nothing! So I told myself to delete her number and just forget it. So a few days later she texts me and asks why I didn't call that day to hang out! I told her that I knew she didn't want to hang out and I was pretty upset that I had wasted my time three times now and didn't plan on trying to make the effort again. She told me she was sorry for what she did and she just wasn't comfortable because she met her last bf online and it ended badly. So now I am trying to figure out whether to persue the girl anymore. I truly get the feeling that after talking so much she isn't really into me yet she always answers my texts and got mad when I told her that I thought it was best for us not to try and meet. I'm hella confused!

I know deep down I shouldn't but she seems like an awesome fit for me (I'm a bit picky so thats big) and she is super hot. Any suggestions?
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post #2 of 28
4/30/08 at 9:45pm
What have you been doing for the past 6 years?

You should probably put this girl on your list of shit that is never going to happen. She just isn't that into you (sorry if that is blunt but we have all been there).
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post #3 of 28
4/30/08 at 10:02pm
It sounds like you already know the answer. Nothing has gone right so far, she won't be as hot as you think, she's annoyed you already, at what point does this become a good idea?
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post #4 of 28
4/30/08 at 10:06pm
Give up.

Girls don't have the balls (literally) to say they're not interested. Instead they play stupid games.
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post #5 of 28
4/30/08 at 10:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
Give up.

Girls don't have the balls (literally) to say they're not interested. Instead they play stupid games.

most of the time guys do the same thing.
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post #6 of 28
4/30/08 at 10:23pm
Fuck her.

Take that how you wish.
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post #7 of 28
4/30/08 at 10:26pm
Start breaking dates yourself at 3PM. See if that piques her interest. Either way, don't plan to go out with her much.
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post #8 of 28
4/30/08 at 11:49pm
First, women don't plan anything further than two days out in advance. Know this. You're a lot better off calling her, saying "hey I'm going to XYZ in an hour, you should come with me" instead of asking her to make plans. Hey ho, it's spontaneous, you seem like you do lots of things, etc. My biggest piece of advice for your life in general and this thing in particular is that she is doing this to you because you are letting her do it to you. You're too nice, probably. She has fun flirting with you online or texting but you're not interesting enough to actually devote time to. The resolution to this is to figure out why you're worth spending time with and be able to demonstrate that to other people. She's walking all over you because you're letting her. There's no easy fix for this.
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post #9 of 28
5/1/08 at 12:27am
Where's the Matchbook Method guy when you need him?
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post #10 of 28
5/1/08 at 5:57am
forget about her dude. Sorry.
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post #11 of 28
5/1/08 at 6:23am
Forget it man. I've been down a similar path before, now I've come to the conclusion trying to meet a woman I can have a decent relationship with through the internet is fucking pointless and quite unhealthy. Any woman worth your time will not be trying to look for this kind of human connection and male attention on the internet of all places. BTW, I kinda laughed when i saw the username of the OP, i thought it was Mike Lowrey from Sufu/SZ at first, had me kinda puzzled he'd make a thread like this.
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post #12 of 28
5/1/08 at 8:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fade to Black View Post
Forget it man. I've been down a similar path before, now I've come to the conclusion trying to meet a woman I can have a decent relationship with through the internet is fucking pointless and quite unhealthy.


Depends on what you mean by that. A good buddy of mine joined Match.com after a long-overdue divorce, and pretty much his first date was with his second wife. They're doing OK.

One of the nicer stories, actually, was from a classical music forum I used to spend time on before the blowhards got too loud. There was a mom from DC and a librarian from upstate NY who must have started sending PMs and then graduated to spending weekends together. He proposed to her with his tagline, and she accepted with hers.
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post #13 of 28
5/1/08 at 9:16am
^^^ That's really corny.
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post #14 of 28
5/1/08 at 9:50am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hi-val View Post
First, women don't plan anything further than two days out in advance. Know this.

You're a lot better off calling her, saying "hey I'm going to XYZ in an hour, you should come with me" instead of asking her to make plans. Hey ho, it's spontaneous, you seem like you do lots of things, etc.



My biggest piece of advice for your life in general and this thing in particular is that she is doing this to you because you are letting her do it to you. You're too nice, probably. She has fun flirting with you online or texting but you're not interesting enough to actually devote time to. The resolution to this is to figure out why you're worth spending time with and be able to demonstrate that to other people. She's walking all over you because you're letting her. There's no easy fix for this.


Good point.

Well I know what I need to do and I deleted her number from my phone to be sure I wouldn't call or text her.

Yea I will admit that I have always had a problem with girls falling out of interest with me. Ironically I am not the nice guy push over type though just very introverted around people when I don't know them well.

Thanks for the advice.
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post #15 of 28
5/1/08 at 11:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Concordia View Post
Depends on what you mean by that. A good buddy of mine joined Match.com after a long-overdue divorce, and pretty much his first date was with his second wife. They're doing OK.

One of the nicer stories, actually, was from a classical music forum I used to spend time on before the blowhards got too loud. There was a mom from DC and a librarian from upstate NY who must have started sending PMs and then graduated to spending weekends together. He proposed to her with his tagline, and she accepted with hers.

There's occasionally some stories with happy endings with dating sites, but in general i'm wary of those. I'm even more wary of finding a female companion on a message board...i am already not very accepting of the idea of real life gatherings based on forum friendships as it is, let alone romance.
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