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The nature of transgender relationships

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
Is it, in your opinion, probable (I'm not asking if it's possible because there are always exceptions to the rule) for a close friendship to exist between a male and female with minimal sexual attraction? If the attraction is one-sided, it still exists.

How "healthy" is a friendship with one-sided attraction?

Two sided? What if it's two sided, but one (or both) are in outside relationships?

Do things like this ever end well (think long run)?
post #2 of 28
I thought this thread was going to be about chicks with dicks.
post #3 of 28
Originally Posted by Dedalus View Post
I thought this thread was going to be about chicks with dicks.


I don't think it is possible to be only friends with a girl you are attracted to physically.
post #4 of 28
Originally Posted by Dedalus View Post
I thought this thread was going to be about chicks with dicks.

+1, which would've made it more interesting.

I think he meant cross-gender.
post #5 of 28
it is possible to be friends with a girl you find attractive, you just need to think of them as a friend...

and nothing more...
post #6 of 28
No reason it isn't perfectly workable, as long it's dealt with. If one party is nursing some unexpressed desire, yeah that might make things considerably more difficult, but still not impossible. Depends on a lot of factors: individual personalities, how long you've known each other, how close you are, whether one or both is already in a relationship, yadda-yadda...
post #7 of 28
Not knowing what transgender means is going to produce a lot of surprises in your dating life...
post #8 of 28
Thread Starter 
Again, I'm not asking if it's possible...Because obviously if you're the omnipotent god of self-control, then yes it's possible.

I'm asking if it's probable. By that I mean: are cross-gender (changing terminology in order to avoid transvestite references ) relationships, in general, ever really in existence because of a genuine appreciation of individual personalities or is the main motivator physical attraction?

For example, one of my formerly close friends is ass butt fuck ugly and is "best friends" with this extremely good looking girl. Despite whatever he or she says, he's obviously obsessed with her to the point of unhealthiness. I'm wondering if situations like this are the norm except with variations of the degree to which it occurs.
post #9 of 28
Well, if neither parties are attractive...

But it depends. I'm in friendships with really attractive females however I would probably never make a move on them simply because I value friendship more than a possible fling. On the other hand, no strings attached fuck buddies? I wouldn't hesitate. Chances of that happening? Very little.
post #10 of 28
This thread is crying out for Edmorel.
post #11 of 28
Totally possible
...is what I tell my girlfriend

Just kidding. I think it is possible... It's just I rarely bother conversing with women I wouldn't want to bone to begin with.

But more seriously, I think after a certain point in a friendship where 'getting together' would totally screw up the dynamic of the friendship, neither party would want to risk it (unless its in some parallel dimension where there were absolutely no consequences to the actions).
post #12 of 28
post #13 of 28
Love exists outside of sex and outside of physical attraction, so of course it's possible. The "When Harry Met Sally" syndrome is a modern myth that perverts reality. The problem is that there are times....when it is not possible, and you must know yourself well enough to discern the distinction, and then be honest enough with yourself to admit it. I think you also have to have the willpower to not allow an honest appreciation of another's character and personality to 'spill over' into the sexual attraction modus. I think it's accurate to say that loving someone enough is a sufficient condition to NOT being sexually attracted to them. Your love for them doesn't allow it. These days, I'm afraid men muddle love and sex up too much (and I mean that at a high level, not the sophomoric low-level "sex is not love" drivel) and thus find it impossible to ever sort out the dividing line. ~ Huntsman
post #14 of 28
Originally Posted by Dedalus View Post
I thought this thread was going to be about chicks with dicks.

Do you like stickin' it to chicks with dicks?
post #15 of 28
+1 to Huntsman. It's very possible. I have some very close friendships w/ women. The best thing ever written about friendship, perhaps, is the couple short chapters in Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics. There he defines love as "willing the good for the other." If two people will each other good, there can be friendship w/o possessiveness. This is not to say that willing the good is easy. It's tough, but it can transform both people in amazing ways.
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