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how many partners is far too many? - Page 17

post #241 of 254
5/30/08 at 12:42pm
Can you get her phone number for me?
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post #242 of 254
5/30/08 at 3:04pm
its probably in the yellow pages.
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post #243 of 254
5/31/08 at 8:31am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by m@T View Post
does anyone else think that this is one of those "so...uhh...this...um...friend of mine...ya, friend of mine...he found a rash...my friend...not me, no my friend" type tales.

Antirabbit - fess up dude

Yeah, I am happily married, so no fessing.

I am saying I was told the range was 5-700, and I would assume the story is done and over.
The idea of it does make my skin crawl.
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post #244 of 254
5/31/08 at 9:00am
So when he walks down the street with her, does every dude they walk by say, "what's up!" to her?

Did she have the nickname "virgin slayer" in high school or anything?
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post #245 of 254
5/31/08 at 9:08am
I think SoCal's had ~150 partners.
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post #246 of 254
5/31/08 at 9:34am
yeah but gay dudes get automatically disqualified from all 'how many partners have you had' conversations. The rest of us can never compete. Theyre in a different league. When my best friend in the US came out, he told me he had slept with more guys in his first few months Out than he had women in 8 sexually active years before he outed himself....and having been his roommate for a period, I can confirm he was never really short on female company. Slept with a reasonable percentage of the UCLA cheerleaders actually.
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post #247 of 254
5/31/08 at 9:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by m@T View Post
yeah but gay dudes get automatically disqualified from all 'how many partners have you had' conversations. The rest of us can never compete. Theyre in a different league.

When my best friend in the US came out, he told me he had slept with more guys in his first few months Out than he had women in 8 sexually active years before he outed himself....and having been his roommate for a period, I can confirm he was never really short on female company. Slept with a reasonable percentage of the UCLA cheerleaders actually.

Is it possible he came out just because he ran out of new partners? I've sometimes wondered about that.
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post #248 of 254
6/1/08 at 5:05pm
A while back, my buddy was 20 at the time, and had a fling with a girl who was 21. After they did the deed, she asked him how many he had been with; it was a fairly modest number, and he told her the truth. Then, she told him that he was #103 for her! Any possibility of them having a meaningful relationship ended right there, as he was a bit freaked out (rightfully so, if you ask me).

IMO, too high a number of partners only leads to tension in a relationship. You start running into problems, such as one person feeling as if they are compared to a past partner, feelings of inadequacy, etc. And, speaking from personal experience, girls who have had many partners have always turned out to be damaged goods (attitude problems, horrible insecurities, being a BITCH), and therefore, although everyone has a past, this is something that I carefully consider before I get anything started with a girl.

And lastly, what the hell is up with us? 300+ partners? And people complain that they can't find true love...
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post #249 of 254
6/2/08 at 10:44am
I would be freaked out more from the specificity of the number than the general idea of it.

I mean, let's say the post-coital chit-chat unearths the idea that she's been around the block a few times. No problem. Let's say she says - oh, around fifty or so. Or she says, maybe a hundred. Momentary issues of discomfiture aside, I can live with this.

But if she told me I was lucky guy #103, that would give me pause. I'd start thinking that there's a list of lucky guys. A database, even. Now, she's vaguely OCD about lists.

How about rankings? oh, please, let's don't go there? But we shall. Rankings. Do you think - since she's already shown an uncomfortable degree of specificity in her counting - that she'll spare your feelings about being good in the sack? Doubtful. That isn't a warm and fuzzy life partner you've just slept with - she's a census-taker. Congratulations, sex partner #103, you are now officially a number in some OCD woman's database, and no doubt you'll be evaluated and ranked according to your sexual prowess. And since 103 is a sufficient sample size to obtain a normal distribution, you'll be on a bell curve somewhere. Where on the bell-curve does lucky guy #103 sit? I hope you brought your 'A' game, tiger.
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post #250 of 254
6/2/08 at 10:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by m@T View Post
yeah but gay dudes get automatically disqualified from all 'how many partners have you had' conversations. The rest of us can never compete. Theyre in a different league.

So how does Conne fit into this picture???
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post #251 of 254
6/2/08 at 8:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post
I would be freaked out more from the specificity of the number than the general idea of it.

I mean, let's say the post-coital chit-chat unearths the idea that she's been around the block a few times. No problem. Let's say she says - oh, around fifty or so. Or she says, maybe a hundred. Momentary issues of discomfiture aside, I can live with this.

Yea, but being 100+ with a girl who is 21 just seems wrong. Not like we are talking some 45 year old woman who has had some time to work?
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post #252 of 254
6/3/08 at 3:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Connemara View Post
I think SoCal's had ~150 partners.

He said over 250 in this thread already.

This thread is both hilarious and thought-provoking. Best of SF!
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post #253 of 254
6/4/08 at 1:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bomber View Post
Yea, but being 100+ with a girl who is 21 just seems wrong. Not like we are talking some 45 year old woman who has had some time to work?

Oh, I don't see it quite that way. Let's say she's a good girl who waited until she was 18 to taste the forbidden. From 18-21, that's a good three years. Now consider that she wants to make up for lost time, and she's not too hard on the eyes. Three years, 52 weeks in a year - that's 156 weekends. A girl's gotta do something to pass the time, right? At that rate, she's knocking boots two out of three weekends with a new face. Would you be incredibly distressed if you had two new sex partners every three weeks?

Personally I think that the double standard persists, and part of it is because women really hold the power here. Put it this way: If I were in a bar, and I suddenly pointed at a woman and said: "come home with me for sex", probably 19 out of 20 women would demur, laugh, or throw something. Reverse the roles, and 19 of 20 men would hold the door open for her. Of course it gives us pause to see a woman flaunt her power like that.
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post #254 of 254
6/4/08 at 2:25pm
basically, when I met my wife we decided that all sexual history information was closed off. we talk about pretty much anything, we don't talk about that. I have met a couple of guys she was intimate with, she has met a couple of girls I have been intimate with, but we dont discuss it.

really, really good system.
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