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how many partners is far too many? - Page 11

post #151 of 254
i think our culture is rather puritannical. people shouldn't complicate sex. it doesn't have to be about love or deep connection although some people might like that. most of that stuff is cultural bullshit from christianity and middle ages poetry.

if both people want to do it, its a very pleasurable way to interact with another person. people choose sexual partners for the same reason that you chose playmates when you were a little kid. you can have more fun together than would by yourself.

its hardwired in us to pursue sex and enjoy it. its one of our most primal instincts it can be one of the most intense experiences you can have. it can be fun and playful, serious. everyone's different, so sex is different for different people.

just be safe and have fun and don't turn it into something its not. its not about true love or making babies or getting married or commitment. its about two people enjoying something together that they can't enjoy by themselves.
post #152 of 254
and don't demonize sluts.
post #153 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by antirabbit View Post
Update:
He slept with her last night....
I cant wait to talk to him about it!
Just got a txt message>>>he is freaking out.
What a dumb ass.

post #154 of 254
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr.loverman View Post
i think our culture is rather puritannical. people shouldn't complicate killing. it doesn't have to be about love or deep connection although some people might like that. most of that stuff is cultural bullshit from christianity and middle ages poetry.

if both people want to do it, its a very pleasurable way to interact with another person. people choose killing partners for the same reason that you chose playmates when you were a little kid. you can have more fun together than would by yourself.

its hardwired in us to pursue killing and enjoy it. its one of our most primal instincts it can be one of the most intense experiences you can have. it can be fun and playful, serious. everyone's different, so killing is different for different people.

just be safe and have fun and don't turn it into something its not. its not about true love or making babies or getting married or commitment. its about two people enjoying something together that they can't enjoy by themselves.

Killing others is also a basic and primal instinct, that can bring some people pleasure, and also can not be done alone. Are you suggesting on the basis of your logic, that should also be ok, and is looked down on by society because of puritanical and christian cultural influence?
I would differentiate sex and more important sexuality from a primal instinct.
Breathing is our most primal, as are reflexes. Sex is not that (nor is eating, look at how complicated that is and can be). I would imagine that most people who are 20 lbs overweight are considered normal, and eat normal. Those that eat to the point where they are 300lbs over weight are considered very unhealthy, it is the lack of normalcy in ones ability to fufill a basic life need that has ties to the most complex areas of who we are.

Oh, so also, shall we not demonize those that can not control their urge to kill?

Humans are much more complex than that. I think what you have argued is only a small part of the equation.
Sorry, I didnt sleep right last night, I found your comments to be a bit basic.
I have fixed your arguement to substitute the word sex, with the word killing.
You will see, it reads similar.
Of course it is not ok, but it is equally discussed in the great religions of the world as much as sex is, and the two are often linked. I think there is great wisdom in these books that we would be wise to heed.
post #155 of 254
See, and I have problems with both sides of this little exchange:

Quote:
Originally Posted by mr.loverman View Post
i think our culture is rather puritannical. people shouldn't complicate sex. it doesn't have to be about love or deep connection although some people might like that. most of that stuff is cultural bullshit from christianity and middle ages poetry.

if both people want to do it, its a very pleasurable way to interact with another person. people choose sexual partners for the same reason that you chose playmates when you were a little kid. you can have more fun together than would by yourself.

its hardwired in us to pursue sex and enjoy it. its one of our most primal instincts it can be one of the most intense experiences you can have. it can be fun and playful, serious. everyone's different, so sex is different for different people.

just be safe and have fun and don't turn it into something its not. its not about true love or making babies or getting married or commitment. its about two people enjoying something together that they can't enjoy by themselves.

I think this is true, and fine as far as it goes. But different people give different meaning to the act, and just as they shouldn't get their panties in a twist over the meaning someone else gives to it, you should respect the fact that they might endow it with greater significance than you do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antirabbit View Post
Killing others is also a basic and primal instinct, that can bring some people pleasure, and also can not be done alone. Are you suggesting on the basis of your logic, that should also be ok, and is looked down on by society because of puritanical and christian cultural influence?
I would differentiate sex and more important sexuality from a primal instinct.
Breathing is our most primal, as are reflexes. Sex is not that (nor is eating, look at how complicated that is and can be). I would imagine that most people who are 20 lbs overweight are considered normal, and eat normal. Those that eat to the point where they are 300lbs over weight are considered very unhealthy, it is the lack of normalcy in ones ability to fufill a basic life need that has ties to the most complex areas of who we are.

Oh, so also, shall we not demonize those that can not control their urge to kill?

There's a vast, vast, vast difference between "sex" and "killing" in mr.loverman's post. Vast. The most fundamental one is that consensual sex involves two people who have agreed to do what they're going to do. Killing someone (assuming it's not also consensual... I don't think that's the situation you were talking about) is a decision by ONE person that (drastically!) goes against the wishes of the other person, and that the victim experiences as an imposition of the attacker's will on his own person. The closer analogy, sexually, would be rape, and tiecollector's dismissal of it notwithstanding, I don't think any of us are making an argument for that one.
post #156 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by drizzt3117 View Post

Wait, WTF? That isn't even close to funny.
post #157 of 254
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucemaster View Post
See, and I have problems with both sides of this little exchange:



I think this is true, and fine as far as it goes. But different people give different meaning to the act, and just as they shouldn't get their panties in a twist over the meaning someone else gives to it, you should respect the fact that they might endow it with greater significance than you do.



There's a vast, vast, vast difference between "sex" and "killing" in mr.loverman's post. Vast. The most fundamental one is that consensual sex involves two people who have agreed to do what they're going to do. Killing someone (assuming it's not also consensual... I don't think that's the situation you were talking about) is a decision by ONE person that (drastically!) goes against the wishes of the other person, and that the victim experiences as an imposition of the attacker's will on his own person. The closer analogy, sexually, would be rape, and tiecollector's dismissal of it notwithstanding, I don't think any of us are making an argument for that one.

My apologies, I wanted to use a drastic contrast. Of course there is a huge difference, but both are serious, and can have significant effects on ones life.
Some take it more serious than others, I was also taking it out of the context of a consentual exchange, but looking at it from an individuals urge and motivation.

The most interesting thing here, is how different we all look at this, and the original topic I spoke of.
I will find out how my friend is. I will also get some details.
Would that be inappropriate to post here?
post #158 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by antirabbit View Post
Would that be inappropriate to post here?
When it comes to the internet, if you have to ask, the answer is always no.
post #159 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
It definitely and unsurprisingly left a trace on your psyche that you should reflect on before you classify 95% of the US population as untrustworthy.
I fear my words may have been taken out of context or I simply didn't get them across as I should.

I'm in no way saying that if you've slept with 350 people I couldn't talk to you, look at you, or even be your friend as that's FAR from the truth. When I said untrustworthy I meant in terms of a committed relationship with myself. I am the one you considered basically a virgin, rightfully so I guess, but that doesn't mean I know next to nothing about the inner workings of relationships/sex/etc. It's just a matter of what I want in a partner vs. what you consider "normal" I don't have it within me to trust someone who has slept with triple digits to be in a committed relationship. Is it totally wrong and should I be hung for this? I hope the hell not.
post #160 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by macuser3of5 View Post
When it comes to the internet, if you have to ask, the answer is always no.

I see what you did there. Why?
post #161 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by maclovin View Post
Wait, WTF? That isn't even close to funny.

i actually thought that that was hilarious. haha bravo drizzt
post #162 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian SD View Post
I have no desire for any woman in the double-digits, even. In fact, more than 5 and I'm no longer interested. I just don't put much clamor into arbitrary sex, and I have little respect for those who do.

Bingo. A true gentleman.
post #163 of 254
I dont get it. Why 10 and not 20, why 20 and not 100, etc....?

If you say you want a woman who only has sex within a long term relationship, then i guess that makes sense from a certain point of view.

But to say "you only get to have slept with 20", whoever and however, and any more and youre a slut, seems a bit weird to me.

I think its sooo easy to get to high numbers these days. Yes 500 is large, i dont know anyone who has slept with 500, not even close, but highschool and college are pretty wild these days, and everytime you go out clubbing, etc....

I have more respect for a girl that pursues what gives her pleasure in life than for one who forces herself to pass just for fear of others opinions, or societys labels.

I dont like inhibited prudes, who deep down wish they could let go but keep restraining and judge others for doing what they long for.

Again, if she genuinely only enjoys sex and wants it in a ltr, then more power to her.

I think somtimes guys dont want a girl with 2 much ex's because it brings out a bit of insecurity in us, as well.

I dont think any of us can deny that the first thing in our mind as we ask/are told of ex-flings is if we were better
post #164 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by alan View Post
I have more respect for a girl that pursues what gives her pleasure in life than for one who forces herself to pass just for fear of others opinions, or societys labels.

You seem to be ignoring the category of people who withhold from certain activities not because of inhibition or fear, but because they choose to live by a certain set of values.

I would give my opinion on this, but Sauce already covered it.
post #165 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosoph View Post
You seem to be ignoring the category of people who withhold from certain activities not because of inhibition or fear, but because they choose to live by a certain set of values.

No i didnt.

"Again, if she genuinely only enjoys sex and wants it in a ltr, then more power to her."


"If you say you want a woman who only has sex within a long term relationship, then i guess that makes sense from a certain point of view."
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