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How to decline invitation to a wedding?

post #1 of 36
4/9/08 at 11:27am
Thread Starter 
OK,

This guy invited me to his wedding. The odd thing is that we have not been close to each other since the school days (which was like 6 years ago). I really don't think I should attend his wedding. The wedding is in July. Is there a way to decline the invitation politely?
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post #2 of 36
4/9/08 at 11:34am
I don't think there's any way this will be pleasant.

You could just not RSVP and not show up, in which case he'd think you're a prick, or you could just call him and have a straight-up conversation and tell him you don't feel like you should go. It'd be an akward call, but at least you would have it out there.
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post #3 of 36
4/9/08 at 11:37am
Why don't you want to go?
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post #4 of 36
4/9/08 at 11:38am
Did he send you a real invitation or was it verbal? If there is a reply card, check no and write a brief message like, "sorry I won't be able to share this special occasion with you". don't forget to send a small gift as well.

If it was a verbal invite that makes it more tricky. Maybe try to leave a voicemail or send an email with some kind of excuse?
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post #5 of 36
4/9/08 at 11:38am
Call him up, and offer a good excuse. Wish the man well, perhaps even send a little gift.
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post #6 of 36
4/9/08 at 1:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MilanoStyle View Post
OK,

This guy invited me to his wedding. The odd thing is that we have not been close to each other since the school days (which was like 6 years ago). I really don't think I should attend his wedding. The wedding is in July. Is there a way to decline the invitation politely?

Just reply to the invite and politely decline. That way he won't count you among the people to be in attendence. As simple as that. Small gifts are for pussies, especially if you don't care about the person and have no interraction with them.
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post #7 of 36
4/9/08 at 1:38pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
Just reply to the invite and politely decline. That way he won't count you among the people to be in attendence. As simple as that. Small gifts are for pussies, especially if you don't care about the person and have no interraction with them.
I like this .. thanks.
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post #8 of 36
4/9/08 at 1:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MilanoStyle View Post
I like this .. thanks.

Don't forget to give him your best wishes and stay generic as the reason why you won't be there, nobody wants to know your life, just invoke an unability to attend.
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post #9 of 36
4/9/08 at 2:36pm
RSVP you won't be able to attend, and send a gift.
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post #10 of 36
4/9/08 at 2:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by contactme_11 View Post
RSVP you won't be able to attend, and send a gift.

No gift, they're not in any way intimate. You send a gift when you want to maintain contact or have a stake in the relationship; you don't send a gift when you want to politely hint at the fact that this person should fuck off because you're strangers.
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post #11 of 36
4/9/08 at 9:47pm
Fuuma has the right approach IMO. More times than a few I've return the rsvp with regrets "due to other commitments" or something like that. No gift unless it's someone with whom I want to continue or build a friendship.
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post #12 of 36
4/10/08 at 1:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayJay View Post
Fuuma has the right approach IMO. More times than a few I've return the rsvp with regrets "due to other commitments" or something like that. No gift unless it's someone with whom I want to continue or build a friendship.

Never burn any bridges unless you never want to cross the bridge again
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post #13 of 36
4/10/08 at 1:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MilanoStyle View Post
OK,

This guy invited me to his wedding. The odd thing is that we have not been close to each other since the school days (which was like 6 years ago). I really don't think I should attend his wedding. The wedding is in July. Is there a way to decline the invitation politely?

Are you single? Is the wedding out of town? Don't pass up the chance to possibly meet some hot babes and get wined and dined-all you need to do is buy the cheapest gift on the registry!

That aside-all that is required of a gentelman is (as previously stated) returning the RSVP card, which should already be stamped. Not to RSVP is being a prick. If pressed why you are not going, you can always say "Oh sorry...my cousin is getting married that weekend and I am an usher" if you want to spare his feelings.
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post #14 of 36
4/10/08 at 4:51am
Fuuma is right. You should just RSVP politely declining because of some "other commitment/engagement" and wish him the very best. We're adults right?

But MrDaniels knows what's up. If you think there's going to be good food/drink/women, it could be worthwhile
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post #15 of 36
4/10/08 at 4:55am
Best hope he doesn't lurk here or he might call you on your bullshit :P edit: i agree with the above 2 posters that you should go if you're single and it's out of town - no point in missing an chance to meet some women who, if you make an ass of yourself, will never see you again. edited again: the guy 3 posts up is also right: don't be a dick because you might at some point down the road have something to gain from this "stranger" that still thinks highly of you, at least to the point of inviting you to his wedding.
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