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How to politely be polite

post #1 of 16
4/9/08 at 4:17am
Thread Starter 
So here's the situation:

I'm a young guy, but I've been raised to be polite and I always try to be courteous in most situations. So, being a young guy, I often surprise older people who say things to the effect of "My, you're so polite!" or "You have wonderful manners!"

My question is: How do I respond? I feel "Thank you" would just be awkward and pretentious, but ignoring the compliment entirely is equally rude. I'm not trying to show off here, I'm just trying to be polite. I'd rather no one comment to me about it at all, but they never remember to ask me first.

Thoughts?
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post #2 of 16
4/9/08 at 4:21am
I think you're overthinking this. For someone who is a true gentleman, no thought even needs to be given about something like this, it's a natural extension of who you are. Just say thank you.
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post #3 of 16
4/9/08 at 4:52am
I used to get this all the time. just a plain thank you.
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post #4 of 16
4/9/08 at 5:29am
This is really exceptional -- do not change. Just a gracious "thank you" should do it.
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post #5 of 16
4/9/08 at 11:41am
"Thank you"

"My pleasure"

"It was no trouble at all"
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post #6 of 16
4/9/08 at 11:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoelMichael37
I'd rather no one comment to me about it at all, but they never remember to ask me first.

If I'm understanding you correctly, you feel it would be more polite for people to ask you first if it's alright if they politely tell you how polite you are.

You might be overdoing this a little.
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post #7 of 16
4/9/08 at 11:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheIdler View Post
If I'm understanding you correctly, you feel it would be more polite for people to ask you first if it's alright if they politely tell you how polite you are.

You might be overdoing this a little.

That's what I was thinking too, and then my head exploded.
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post #8 of 16
4/9/08 at 1:08pm
At first I thought this was a parody of "stylemeup", but now I worry you may actually be serious.
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post #9 of 16
4/9/08 at 1:21pm
I have had the same scenario occur many times -- my favorite variant is "you're not from around here, are you?" (I was). I've answered it most frequently with the simple "thank you," but in other situations have said, "thank you, I was raised well," and in others I have quoted my signature. ~ Huntsman
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post #10 of 16
4/10/08 at 7:28pm
Thread Starter 
Thank you Huntsman, that's exactly the advice I needed. Hat's off.

And Gracias to all who gave advice. Being courteous doesn't just eliminate all awkwardness, though wouldn't that be wonderful. Be well.
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post #11 of 16
4/10/08 at 10:05pm
"I'll tell my parents you said so."
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post #12 of 16
4/10/08 at 10:11pm
I have found on occasion that people are impolite or will sometimes try to take advantage of my politeness; which I never perceived as being overly polite until I saw a pattern in other's behavior in what I feel is a response to my own. Sometimes at bars I get the sense that bartenders ignore me when I say "excuse me", "please" or "thank you" and leave me waiting there to order my beer or pay much longer than those around me who use a harsher tone.
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post #13 of 16
4/10/08 at 10:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joseph K. Bank View Post
I have found on occasion that people are impolite or will sometimes try to take advantage of my politeness; which I never perceived as being overly polite until I saw a pattern in other's behavior in what I feel is a response to my own. Sometimes at bars I get the sense that bartenders ignore me when I say "excuse me", "please" or "thank you" and leave me waiting there to order my beer or pay much longer than those around me who use a harsher tone.

The solution to this problem seems pretty obvious to me.
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post #14 of 16
4/10/08 at 10:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
I used to get this all the time. just a plain thank you.
Same here.
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post #15 of 16
4/10/08 at 11:46pm
Agreed on just the thank you. Miss Manners says that the only proper response to a compliment is "thank you" without and qualifiers, caveats or anything attached.
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