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Dating matching service?

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Please suggest a matching service website and share your own experience. Thanks.
post #2 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by jakejake View Post
Please suggest a matching service website and share your own experience. Thanks.

I think to be helpful you should specify a few other details:
1) Are you in a large urban area or a rural area
2) Do you have specific requirements (religion, ethnicity,... )
3) Are you willing to pay for the service
4) How old are you?

The services vary a lot and depending on many factors and are not one size fit all.
post #3 of 14
I have no experiences, but to get you started, here's what I've heard friends/SF'ers say: eharmony (most effective, expensive as shit) Match ($20/mo, I don't know anybody that uses it) Plenty of Fish (free, sketchy) okCupid (free, for young people, sorta like facebook) jDate!
post #4 of 14
I didn't know anybody actually used okCupid for dating, but that quiz they do is HI-FRIGGIN-LARIOUS! I'm a "poolboy".....anybody else take it?
post #5 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by dusty View Post
I have no experiences, but to get you started, here's what I've heard friends/SF'ers say:
okCupid (free, for young people, sorta like facebook)
jDate!

yeah.. Okcupid.com is 100% free dating website.

It's place where you get to read through personals of other singles and may find perfect partner for you.

You will also get free profiles, pictures, tests, personals, match rankings. It's a fun community with the focus on dating and socializing with others.
post #6 of 14
You're bound to find something to tickle your fancy on Craigslist.
post #7 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by dba View Post
You're bound to find something to tickle your fancy on Craigslist.

only to find out she has a wang longer than yours?
post #8 of 14
I dabbled with Lavalife (Canadian based online dating service) a few years back after some friends and my sister in law suggested it would be a good way to meet single women.

I used it for about a year and then deleted my account in frustration. I was in my mid thirties and been out of a relationship for a while and Toronto though a cosmopolitan metropolis with lots going is a really cold city for singles, what the hell lets give it a shot.

Well, online dating was an interesting experience, learned a lot about myself and what I find important in potential relationships. Realized it was not my cup of tea. It will be a numbers game and going on a regular direct marketing response rate figure maybe 10% of the women you contact will actually go on a date with you.

I met interesting women through the process, one creeped me out and I think the majority have a check list in their heads and they want 100% compatablity with said list and oh yes a spark to happen on the first date.

In the end I decided to stop and focus on my hobbies, I think I realized I am going to have better luck meeting my next girlfriend who is into the same stuff as I am. So I got deeper with my photography hobby and joined a few camera clubs.

I came to the conclusion that online dating sites are there to make money, getting you hooked up to Miss Right (now) is an afterthought.

My two cents on the subject.
post #9 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Smith View Post
I dabbled with Lavalife (Canadian based online dating service) a few years back after some friends and my sister in law suggested it would be a good way to meet single women.

I used it for about a year and then deleted my account in frustration. I was in my mid thirties and been out of a relationship for a while and Toronto though a cosmopolitan metropolis with lots going is a really cold city for singles, what the hell lets give it a shot.

Well, online dating was an interesting experience, learned a lot about myself and what I find important in potential relationships. Realized it was not my cup of tea. It will be a numbers game and going on a regular direct marketing response rate figure maybe 10% of the women you contact will actually go on a date with you.

I met interesting women through the process, one creeped me out and I think the majority have a check list in their heads and they want 100% compatablity with said list and oh yes a spark to happen on the first date.

In the end I decided to stop and focus on my hobbies, I think I realized I am going to have better luck meeting my next girlfriend who is into the same stuff as I am. So I got deeper with my photography hobby and joined a few camera clubs.

I came to the conclusion that online dating sites are there to make money, getting you hooked up to Miss Right (now) is an afterthought.

My two cents on the subject.
I agree with this analysis. It's much easier to reject someone based upon superficial characteristics over the internet. If you meet a woman in person and she finds you smart and funny and interesting and you two have good chemistry, she's likely to overlook the fact that you're not the "right" height, not the "right" ethnicity, etc.
post #10 of 14
Maybe you guys need a wingman.
post #11 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJman View Post
Maybe you guys need a wingman.

When I was single I found that the wingman wasn't at all helpful and that going out solo worked much better (at least that is how I met my wife).
post #12 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Smith View Post
I dabbled with Lavalife (Canadian based online dating service) a few years back after some friends and my sister in law suggested it would be a good way to meet single women.

I used it for about a year and then deleted my account in frustration. I was in my mid thirties and been out of a relationship for a while and Toronto though a cosmopolitan metropolis with lots going is a really cold city for singles, what the hell lets give it a shot.

Well, online dating was an interesting experience, learned a lot about myself and what I find important in potential relationships. Realized it was not my cup of tea. It will be a numbers game and going on a regular direct marketing response rate figure maybe 10% of the women you contact will actually go on a date with you.

I met interesting women through the process, one creeped me out and I think the majority have a check list in their heads and they want 100% compatablity with said list and oh yes a spark to happen on the first date.

In the end I decided to stop and focus on my hobbies, I think I realized I am going to have better luck meeting my next girlfriend who is into the same stuff as I am. So I got deeper with my photography hobby and joined a few camera clubs.

I came to the conclusion that online dating sites are there to make money, getting you hooked up to Miss Right (now) is an afterthought.

My two cents on the subject.

Back when I was single, I used dating sites to line up dates when I traveled for work.

Nerve.com was the best place to meet women open to drinks and dinner, followed by a romp in the sack with a man they might seriously date if we were in the same town. I had a blast. It was far far more fun that trolling for chicks in some bar.

The trick is to know yourself and the kinds of women you're likely to click with and not waste your time on women waving red flags.

If you're semi-presentable (if you're here at SF, you probably know how to dress) and have decent manners, dating sites are a gold mine for meeting girls.

Meaning that if you're using a dating site without a lot of luck, then you're doing something wrong.

Is your ad attracting women you'd never talk to if you met them off-line? Are you unable to read between the lines to know that they're not your type?

My ability to charm women works best with smart, cultured women. I'm well-read, I'm interested in all sorts of things and I convey that by how I talk. My checklist, to the extent I had one, was to look for woman who were my female counterparts. If they're not smart and cultured, they're not likely to find me interesting. So I didn't bother with middle management types who liked golf, for example. Sales and marketing types were another no-no. I generally don't find men who have such careers interesting. No reason to think their female peers are any more interesting.

They're not bad people -- just not my type. And I know myself well enough to know my type. And to be perfectly honest, I wasn't their type, either. So no point in going on a date to have our initial doubts confirmed.

I'd recommend you not give up on dating sites. But put more thought into your ad as far as who you are and what you're seeking and be more ruthless about screening out low-probability-of-success women.

Good luck.
post #13 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambulance Chaser View Post
I agree with this analysis. It's much easier to reject someone based upon superficial characteristics over the internet. If you meet a woman in person and she finds you smart and funny and interesting and you two have good chemistry, she's likely to overlook the fact that you're not the "right" height, not the "right" ethnicity, etc.

Damn, so THAT'S my problem. I always knew it was because i was white.
post #14 of 14
I came to the conclusion that the best way to meet Miss Right (now) is in person doing what you love doing, when you are ready it will fall into place.

I am well educated, present well, articulate, funny, grounded etc. Getting attention of the opposite sex is not the issue, I my profile on Lava Life got a lot of hits and I conversed with a lot of women via email and the online conversation went really well.

It was the in person things fell flat, it was like some of my dates suffered selected adult onset asberger (sp?) syndrome. That was one segment, the majority of women I met online though really nice had a shopping list of qualities they are looking for in Mr. Right in their heads and they were quite rigid in sticking to it. I was once cut loose for being a year too old with one woman, I was dumbstruck and left shaking my head when I got that brush off email. What's more priceless the woman in question was part of my really extended social circle. To my knowedge, she is still single

Online dating did not work for me because it had all the romance of a real estate transaction and after deleting my profile I felt a lot better. I took myself off the playing field retraining for a new career in public relations which took up a fair chunk of my time and focused on my photography passion. I have come to the conclusion if you are going to meet someone, it's going to be through either work or your hobbies/sports or everyday routine.

Here is my example, I met my last girlfriend when she was working at Garvey's Menswear in Oakville ten years ago while finishing up her University degree at UofT. We got to talking and she sold me a chunk of my wardrobe and one thing led to another. The relationship ended ages ago be we remain close friends and I still bring her along when I buy suits.
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