Quote:
Originally Posted by
globetrotter 
maybe, but keep in mind, Matt, that you also went halfway around the world when you were 18, and then went off to singapore to start a career, and then moved to a new country to start an office, and run a successful office in a non-native country at age, what, 27? 28? when you took over. this is a guy in his late teens, early twenties who is living at home with no friends. he might need some help.
I have gotten therapy twice - once, to over-simplify, to deal with issues that had to do with post tramatic stress. I can honestly say I would never have gotten married if I hadn't done that. later, when I wanted to move to the states, my wife asked me to talk to a therapist to evaluate my reasoning, and while I was pissed off at her about it, I did it, and I found it valuable.
sometimes peope need help. getting it early is better than getting it late. there is no shame in getting help when you need it. yes, a kick in the ass is needed, the question is where the op can give himself that kick, or should get a pro to do it for him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tangfastic If you're in college try joining some of the societies to do with your interests, and your course should have a social society too. They will hold regular social events, and they are full of people who don't know each other.
Also, if its affordable, see if you can find a cheap place to live with some fellow students - even if you get a small box room in a slum you'll be out of home and have housemates around the same age.
Again, maybe a job on campus would be better than your current one, depending on availability, but worth keeping an eye out for openings.
The above advice is very good. Therapy can serve as an outlet to air a lot of the issues that are bothering you but which can't be discussed with family or close friends, who, most likely have not been trained to help you anyway.
Also, getting out of the house is essential as living at home can tend to exacerbate self-imposed isolation. This is especially true if your parents are also fairly introverted. In the past, I have used craigslist to find a new apartment or room in a house when I didn't know anybody in a new place. It may take a couple of months of looking at places to find a situation that feels like it could be comfortable but when it does happen, you should just jump in to the fray and take a chance. Being around people your own age, with similar patterns of work/school/having fun will dramatically change your life for the better. Parents and college kids don't have ANYTHING like the same interests or lifestyles. No wonder you are feeling like there aren't many fun things to do!
I, myself have been rather isolated the past few months because I just moved home from school and was looking for a job. Well, I start my new job on Monday and my plan of action to start building a new social life here is
1. To move in to a new house with some other young professionals in their early 20s, in a neighborhood in which I can walk to nearby entertainment (I find having to drive makes me go out less)
2. Start taking French lessons at a local school or college. This is something that I've always wanted to do and now I'm going to do it! Hopefully, by taking classes I will meet other people who share this interest. Maybe there is even a French appreciation club in the city somewhere...
3. Take up a new sport. Something like jiu jitsu or boxing that will build discipline, make my living habits healthier and improve my fitness and in which I can also meet people.
I might sign up for dance lessons a little bit further down the road as I took some in college and found that it really helped me to learn to over come my shyness. Having a new pretty girl in your arms every 45 seconds makes talking to girls really easy and it's easy to make plans to go out to bars or clubs because having a non-sex related purpose for being there takes the pressure off of the social interactions. (You can always add an ancillary sex related purpose down the road
)
In summary, I have been where you are before and so have MANY, many other people. The majority of people in this world are not necessarily extroverts. It just seems like it because they are always most noticeable. If you make sure that you have an impersonal outlet in your life in which you can talk about your problems, put yourself in a living situation in which you are surrounded by people who can relate to your lifestyle, and go out and follow your personal interests in group settings, your social life will improve dramatically over a period of a three or four months, and you will one day find that you are really excited to get out of bed every day because you have so many different fun things planned for yourself.
Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, so make a plan for next week to take the first step on your journey. It is completely worth it because life is too short to be cooped up at home letting it pass by. I wish you the best of luck.
