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Doing things alone

post #1 of 93
3/14/08 at 1:46am
Thread Starter 
I've been in NYC for eight months and now that it's warming up, there's an endless list of things I want to do. Most of them involve riding my bike and sitting, relaxing in Central Park, but others are a little more time and cash consuming. And with a small network of friends, and the other personal occupations that they have, I might start doing some of them alone. But as a single guy in the city, I don't know if that's a good idea -- and yet, I don't know why.

I'd like to go around and try to find the best cheeseburger I can find.
Also milkshake, perhaps.
I'd like to travel around the other boroughs (well, not Staten Island) and find what's culturally appealing.

How do you become accustomed to doing things alone? My roommates and I are good friends but we have different interests -- if we were in Brooklyn, for example, I'd probably want to find some cool clothing stores, and they wouldn't. But even putting that aside, there will be plenty of times when they're just busy.

Thoughts? I guess the reason I bring it up is that it can feel strange to be alone a lot in the city, and even though I have close friends, doing typically social things alone can seem off.
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post #2 of 93
3/14/08 at 1:54am
I dont like shopping with other people so I always go alone. I've never felt weird doing it.
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post #3 of 93
3/14/08 at 2:06am
It really varies person to person. I'm perfectly fine going off to do things by myself (traveling alone is awesome) and see nothing wrong with it, but I'm also an introvert and being around and engaging with lots of people constantly is actually tiresome for me.
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post #4 of 93
3/14/08 at 2:11am
I have difficultly doing things alone, I feel weird for some reason. For instance, I would never eat out alone, the list goes on. I just in general wouldn't do anything alone. Maybe I should try sometime.
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post #5 of 93
3/14/08 at 2:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by playdohh22 View Post
I have difficultly doing things alone, I feel weird for some reason. For instance, I would never eat out alone, the list goes on. I just in general wouldn't do anything alone. Maybe I should try sometime.

You're too concerned about what people think of you.
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post #6 of 93
3/14/08 at 2:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by robin View Post
It really varies person to person. I'm perfectly fine going off to do things by myself (traveling alone is awesome) and see nothing wrong with it, but I'm also an introvert and being around and engaging with lots of people constantly is actually tiresome for me.

Yes, I think so.
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post #7 of 93
3/14/08 at 2:20am
I really prefer doing a lot of things with one exception: going to a bar. I really feel awkward doing that, so much so that I couldn't even tell you if I've ever done that. Ever.
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post #8 of 93
3/14/08 at 2:26am
Quote:
Originally Posted by whodini View Post
I really prefer doing a lot of things with one exception: going to a bar. I really feel awkward doing that, so much so that I couldn't even tell you if I've ever done that. Ever.

It depends on where you go. Some local watering holes are perfect to go to alone. But for bars that are meat markets, it's a little tough because you're being judged on an entirely different standard.
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post #9 of 93
3/14/08 at 2:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkNWorn View Post
You're too concerned about what people think of you.
No, I think he's just more of an extrovert (but he could also be vain and shallow too ).

Quote:
I really feel awkward doing that, so much so that I couldn't even tell you if I've ever done that. Ever.
Yes, there is a stigma over enjoying a martini or a glass of scotch alone, but I've never quite understood why. I still do it though, and I prefer small and quite bars when I go out by myself.
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post #10 of 93
3/14/08 at 2:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkNWorn View Post
It depends on where you go. Some local watering holes are perfect to go to alone. But for bars that are meat markets, it's a little tough because you're being judged on an entirely different standard.
Even then I feel really weird. Actually, I do remember drinking alone in a few times in DC and Portland but usually I was sitting out in a patio reading a book and enjoying a pint. Come to think of it, that's really why I like Portland so much. Their beer culture is so great that I always ended up having someone to talk to while drinking at a brewpub. That or I went for their great happy hours.
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post #11 of 93
3/14/08 at 2:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by whodini View Post

Come to think of it, that's really why I like Portland so much. Their beer culture is so great that I always ended up having someone to talk to while drinking at a brewpub. That or I went for their great happy hours.

I don't think it's the beer culture in Portland in particular. Local watering holes are similar everywhere. They're weary of outsiders at first, but after a "breaking in" period, you'll get to meet some very good people. There's a local bar outside of Boston that's always close to my heart. I spent many a nights alone there, having drinks and chitchatting with the locals. I didn't go there because I had nowhere else to go--I could've easily called up one of my buddies and go to a Boston meat market. I went there because it was my own time, drinking what I like, and just kicking back generally. Now, I make a point of going back there at least every year, just to say hi.
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post #12 of 93
3/14/08 at 3:15am
The only thing I feel too weird doing alone is going to movies. Wild horses couldn't drag me to a movie theater alone no matter how much I want to see the movie.
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post #13 of 93
3/14/08 at 4:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by robin View Post
It really varies person to person. I'm perfectly fine going off to do things by myself (traveling alone is awesome) and see nothing wrong with it, but I'm also an introvert and being around and engaging with lots of people constantly is actually tiresome for me.
I think unless you are with someone with very similar interests, general or superficial conversation with people is very tedious.
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post #14 of 93
3/14/08 at 5:56am
Just try it a few times. I have a very different schedule than most of my friends so if I don't want to be sitting on my couch on a weeknight, I'm usually out alone. It's gotten much less weird in a pretty short period of time. Just bring a book or something you want to get done so you don't feel like you have no other options, and then sit and people-watch. Personally I find that very interesting. Anyway, in a city, everyone understands that you want to get out of the house no matter what, whether to escape a tiny place or escape a crappy roommate, or just get out where there are other people around. Find a place where you can hang and it will soon be no big deal no matter where you go.

Weirder things will happen to you than when you go out with others, but it just makes things more interesting. Some psycho in a coffee shop tonight told me I had an accent (nope) and must be from the Dominican Republic, then stared directly at me for a couple minutes. I talked to him for a bit, let him stare, and went back to my book. Think of it this way, if you ever want to write a Henry Miller style novel, you'll have to spend a lot of time hanging out alone.
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post #15 of 93
3/14/08 at 6:58am
It's a Friday night and all my friends are busy so I'm going out alone.

Ciao!
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