Bringing back an older thread since I apparently missed this.
I do MORE than enough to fost new friendships, and go out on a limb all the time to garner very close, true friendships. Trust me, if you knew me you'd understand. I may be romanticizing old friendships a bit, but I think it's more a sense of nostalgia.
It is quite a confusing concept, I know. My only real explanation is that when you are younger, it is easier to prove your friendship to someone. You actually got into situations where danger (real or imagined) is present and another must make a sacrifice for a friend. These relationships were tested more often, and therefore stronger bonds were formed. Someone either looked at you in a time of need and said "yes" or "no".
I also think that attitude changes have a lot to do with this. When you don't have too much (real) responsibility, friendships are easier to focus on. I have had quite a many friends just 'give up' on every one of their friends to pursue a girl (or guy). They push to get into a serious relationship as early in life as possible, and neglect everyone else that has been there for them for a decade. The funny thing is I have probably 4-5 people I know where now their relationships have fallen through (even after years of marriage), and now they're left without any friends at all. Some come back and start talking like the old times, but it's awkward because it's hard to jump right back into something like that after years of no communication.
Then there's the fact that so many people are busy building school and work careers, relationships, houses, etc....when you are friendly to them, they will be 'acquaintance' friendly towards you, but won't go out of their way at all to build a good friendship with you. Changing attitudes and circumstances make things harder.
Eh, enough rambling. It's a subject I know, but simply can't communicate it very clearly.
Anyone else feel the same, maybe can word it better?
Originally Posted by rdawson808
You're not the first person to mention this and the very concept just baffles me.
As I see it, one of two things is happening to all of you:
1. You aren't doing enough to foster real friendships, or
2. You are romanticizing your earlier friendships.
Let's face it, friendships you made when a teen (or earlier) are seldom based on some deep philosophical connection. These friendships are formed when you are young and, to a great degree, dumb. But it doesn't mean they won't last. What do you do to keep these friends?
And what are you doing to meet new ones?
Of my two closest friends (aside from my wife), one I have known since HS (some 20 years now) and the other I met in grad school (about 12 years now).