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Sendoff Party Etiquette

post #1 of 7
3/13/08 at 2:17pm
Thread Starter 
I realize that this is not a style question per se, but rather one of etiquette, and I couldn't find a better place to ask this question.

One of my best friends is leaving her previous job and is moving on. We used to work together at the company she's just resigned from, and she's throwing a sendoff party to that end.

Now, she's also invited other people to the sendoff party, who are not from the company she's leaving -- not just a handful, but several. These are part of her friends circle who have nothing to do with her sendoff.

So, the sendoff party is turning more into a celebratory party for her new job, except that she's also invited her boss and other, former associates from her previous job. I asked her if the boss and other people are aware of this, and her response was that since it's her party, they needn't know, and that it doesn't matter.

I just feel that doing so is rude to the folks she's worked with (for almost 5 years), and that she shouldn't combine the two. Any thoughts?
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post #2 of 7
3/13/08 at 3:10pm
If she is leaving on good terms why not?
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post #3 of 7
3/13/08 at 3:22pm
In situations of advising others, I generally just keep my mouth shut. She did the inviting, its her party. Right or wrong, if she wants to invite these people, she is going to do it. If you push her, she is just going to end up pissed with you

If it were your party, your gut would tell you what is right. Not SF

K
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post #4 of 7
3/13/08 at 6:09pm
It's her party, it's her decision as to whom is invited. I don't see any issue of rudeness on just these facts.
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post #5 of 7
3/13/08 at 6:20pm
Thread Starter 
Maybe I should shed some more light on the situation. Of course, it is her party, and it is entirely up to her - I am not disputing that in any way. My only concern was her offending someone and losing several valuable relationships because of this. Traditionally, those sendoffs (at my previous company) were organized by the department/team for the person leaving. Except that this time around, for a sendoff that the group is organizing, she is inviting folks who are not only not part of the group, but also belong to her future company. In her eyes, this is sort of sticking it to the previous company (her relationship with some of the higher-ups weren't exactly stellar) by inviting these execs as well as others from the future company to the same party. This, I feel, could be rude and hurtful to her in the long run. Burning your bridges, valuing your relationships etc.
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post #6 of 7
3/13/08 at 6:41pm
Where is the party going to be held? At the old company, which will be providing the food and drink? Or at a bar/restaurant, where everyone will be paying their own way? If it is the former, I can understand that the old company may not want to subsidize the eating and drinking of folks who have nothing to do with the company. If it is the latter, I can't see the harm of allowing the friend to invite whomever she wants.
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post #7 of 7
3/13/08 at 6:46pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambulance Chaser View Post
Where is the party going to be held? At the old company, which will be providing the food and drink? Or at a bar/restaurant, where everyone will be paying their own way? If it is the former, I can understand that the old company may not want to subsidize the eating and drinking of folks who have nothing to do with the company. If it is the latter, I can't see the harm of allowing the friend to invite whomever she wants.

It's not at the previous company, of course - it's going to be at a restaurant/bar. Usually, the bill was split amongst the team, but in this case, I'd assume that it is going to be to each his/her own.

Well, either way, looks like I was in the wrong!

I merely was concerned that doing so may not be in her best interest, but if no one is going to be offended, then hey.

Thanks everyone, for your inputs.
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