I never give food away gratis or free at The Chili Chack. Nor do my employees on pain of immediate termination. The reason being is that there's a place nearby where I go to make love to women and they never, ever comp me a making love even though I am a regular. Do you know I have to sell eight full price "Ch-Ch-Chili Max Platter with Fanta" just to earn one making love?
If any of you have developed friendly thoughts toward me during my years at this website, do remember that when you dine at The Chili Chack you are enabling me to make love.
Why don't you just cut out the middle man [sic] and make love with your employees? Or with your customers in exchange for six or seven bowels of chili? Or just with the chili?