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things that are making you happy - Page 2418

post #36256 of 43590
A tip for the next retelling, Ed: That story would be a lot more believable if it didn't involve an attractive woman smiling at you.

Also, be honest, the last part usually happens to you regardless of whether there's a fresh fart in the air, doesn't it?
post #36257 of 43590
Naw, your mom is ugly.
post #36258 of 43590
So you're saying that you even repulse unattractive women?
post #36259 of 43590
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

So you're saying that you even repulse unattractive women?

I would say what the two of us do is so depraved that it should be repulsive, but no, she is not that repulsive.
post #36260 of 43590
Farts are an interesting thing. I think people (mainly women) secretly enjoy smelling them so that they can be outraged by them
post #36261 of 43590
Quote:
Originally Posted by edinatlanta View Post

I would say what the two of us do is so depraved that it should be repulsive, but no, she is not that repulsive.

I certainly don't doubt that anything that includes you and a woman would be considered repulsive.
post #36262 of 43590
Quote:
Originally Posted by EMartNJ View Post

How long does it take you to do those?

How long it takes? It depends, I don't really clock the time, but I mostly draw at night whilst listening to a podcast that last an hour to 1 hour and thirty minutes. Most of them take shorter then that, some longer. Some are finished within an episode of QI XL and others during a lecture or two.
post #36263 of 43590
Quote:
Originally Posted by HRoi View Post

I did it rong the other day...let it rip as soon as I got in the empty elevator. Of course, the elevator ended up making 2 stops before reaching the ground floor, so I was standing there trying to keep a poker face while the other people were trying to keep their eyes from falling out of their sockets

yeah, gotta be careful about this. You don't want to let it go right as the elevator is stopping since it'll still be bundled up in your trousers upon leaving the elevator. But you don't want to do get caught with stops and crowds mid ride.
post #36264 of 43590
Quote:
Originally Posted by edinatlanta View Post

I know I've told this story before but IRDGAF. I let one rip a few years ago and some really hot dame was getting on. She smiled coyly at me, stepped in and I shit you not... I saw her pause, step back, do a double take, and then reluctantly walk in.

it's always funny to read this again. I would have torn up in laughter.
post #36265 of 43590
Quote:
Originally Posted by HRoi View Post

Farts are an interesting thing. I think people (mainly women) secretly enjoy smelling them so that they can be outraged by them

i think they're hilarious, but the wife completely disagrees. I've done some deep philosophical thought on the issue, and i realized that it's not the actual fart that's funny, unless it's enormous I suppose, but it's people's reactions to being exposed to one (either by hearing or smelling) that's funny.
post #36266 of 43590
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomestar View Post

i think they're hilarious, but the wife completely disagrees. I've done some deep philosophical thought on the issue, and i realized that it's not the actual fart that's funny, unless it's enormous I suppose, but it's people's reactions to being exposed to one (either by hearing or smelling) that's funny.

There is nothing funny about mine. Only the most profound respect and admiration when I contemplate that I made that.
post #36267 of 43590
Real talk: In the 14 years since we started dating and decade-plus that we've been married, I've never farted in front of my wife (at least not in such a way that made her aware it had happened).
post #36268 of 43590
She's lying to you - she secretly enjoys it, as do all women. I'm still trying to determine whether they like the smell itself in a sort of masochistic way, or the fact that it gives them the opportunity to make a scene laugh.gif
post #36269 of 43590
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

Real talk: In the 14 years since we started dating and decade-plus that we've been married, I've never farted in front of my wife (at least not in such a way that made her aware it had happened).
I'm sure you fart every night in your sleep. Depending on the position of the covers, you may be giving her a Dutch oven multiple times per night
post #36270 of 43590
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

Real talk: In the 14 years since we started dating and decade-plus that we've been married, I've never farted in front of my wife (at least not in such a way that made her aware it had happened).

unreal. you are missing out. and so is your wife for that matter. how do you expect do be truly respected without her knowing the full range of your power?
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