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Need assistance on being more sociable. - Page 4

post #46 of 54
2/7/08 at 6:46pm
It's high school. Things get better in college.
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post #47 of 54
2/7/08 at 6:50pm
Step away from the computer.
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post #48 of 54
2/7/08 at 7:35pm
I doubt he speaks that way in actuality. I tend to be over elaborate in my written word as well, it's just a habit.

Here's my two cents worth (which is probably worth less than that).

1. Realize that you're a piece of shit. Granted, you may be a genius, well-endowed, good-looking, and destined to accomplish great things, but deep down everybody is a piece of shit. We all make mistakes, we all get embarrassed, and we all get nervous about meeting new people. You have that in common with every person on earth.

2. If you can't find something in common with someone, see number one. Some people don't like to talk to others, but assume that at a party people there like to meet new people and like even more to talk about themselves. You aren't a bother by being the new guy there, you being there is the reason other people came.

3. Just appear friendly. The most boring guy in the world that smiles and nods will have friends.
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post #49 of 54
2/8/08 at 3:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by hi-val View Post
Yeah, that too. I have a strong vocabulary (at least people around me tell me that) but I use words like "contingent" and "ameliorate" that are very specific verbs that narrowly describe what I'm talking about. It's precision instead of flourish. If there's one thing people can't stand, it's vocab show-offs.
It took me years to figure out that writing like that is bad.
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post #50 of 54
2/8/08 at 3:53pm
Hello ---> Hegemon...

It seems to me you are all missed up. Stop and think a little... If you do not feel empathy with the people or places you walk into it is simply because you are out of context! Go for another circles! Search new people that understand your peculiar humour. And if peculiar humour is a trace of intelligence, you must understand that now you are wasting your time with not so intelligent people!

About being elitist... Everyone is elitist to a degree. There is no problem to be elitist, the problem happens when one, being an elitist, sees the others as VERY different from ourselves. We all build shells where our elitism happens as a natural trace of personality (some times more artificial then others...).

Free advice: Do not handle your personality in the direction of someone taste just to be popular!!! It will be you death sentence in a social point of view on a long term context.

Just realise you are on the wrong place with the wrong people... take another train...

See you...

S.A.S.F.
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post #51 of 54
2/8/08 at 6:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jared View Post
It took me years to figure out that writing like that is bad.

You mean writing like I said not to write like, or writing like how I wrote? I'm afraid I can't understand your post : ) The other day, I said "well, buying that is contingent on the cost of this thing" which is not, I think, a showoff sentence. "Purchasing that item depends wholly on the exactitude of sale price on the other item in question" earns a dickpunch though.




Two other things I thought about recently: there may be Dale Carnegie courses in public speaking still in existence. It wouldn't hurt to take one. After doing that, Toastmasters would be a good experience for honing your skills at talking about a topic and making it interesting, engaging and humorous for the listener.
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post #52 of 54
2/8/08 at 6:33pm
^Or, in the alternative, watch every episode of the Big Bang Theory.
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post #53 of 54
2/9/08 at 1:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by hi-val View Post
You mean writing like I said not to write like, or writing like how I wrote? I'm afraid I can't understand your post : ) The other day, I said "well, buying that is contingent on the cost of this thing" which is not, I think, a showoff sentence. "Purchasing that item depends wholly on the exactitude of sale price on the other item in question" earns a dickpunch though.
Writing and speaking simply is good and what the truly smart do. I thought I demonstrated it as much as stated it.
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post #54 of 54
2/9/08 at 2:42am
Quote:
Originally Posted by EgoSays View Post
I doubt he speaks that way in actuality. I tend to be over elaborate in my written word as well, it's just a habit.

Here's my two cents worth (which is probably worth less than that).

1. Realize that you're a piece of shit. Granted, you may be a genius, well-endowed, good-looking, and destined to accomplish great things, but deep down everybody is a piece of shit. We all make mistakes, we all get embarrassed, and we all get nervous about meeting new people. You have that in common with every person on earth.

Most important, imo. None of us are special; some of us are just better than others. The world will not give you what you think you deserve, regardless of what you think, you've got to go out and get whatever you want.

If you want friends, great friends and acquaintances as "friends", (I'd say that's the hallmark of sociability; to have both and to be able to balance both) go out and get some.

If people look like they don't want to speak with you, change the way you look to match what you want to look like (assuming thats what you want to be). Put on some muscle, lose some weight, viola - girls/guys are interested in knowing what you did to change yourself. You'll hear: Got any gym tips? What did you do to lose that weight? Are you on a diet? You look great, what did you do to lose weight? Hey bro, I'm thinking of starting to go to the gym, got any pointers for me? etc.

Change the way you dress and people will notice and may ask where you bought what, compliments (and you compliment them back using your brain, not a "huahua you look hot in those pants").

Or whatever. Do what you need to do - collect your balls and use em.
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