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Dealing with going gray

post #1 of 50
2/2/08 at 8:24pm
Thread Starter 
I'm 48 and my hair has been going gradually gray for 10+ years. I just hate it. My beard is also very gray, so I am now clean-shaven, even though I would love to grow a beard now and then. And there's a bunch of gray hairs on my chest. At least so far - thank god - no gray pubes, but I know it can't be long.

Anyway, the real issue is my hair. I keep my hair pretty short (#4 clipper) because I think the gray shows less that way. It's not evenly spread in a "salt n pepper" way - it's working its way from the temples upwards, so I have a gray ring with darker hair on top. I'm in a "creative" business and just don't feel the gray hair works for me.

I've tried Grecian but it didn't seem to do anything - maybe I wasn't consistent enough in using it - and I didn't like the smell. I've considered dyeing it but I don't want to look like I did - you know, that "solid" jet black look that screams "dye job". Some of the commercials for women's hair color on TV talk about how they color different strands slightly different shades for a natural look, so I was wondering if that might be worth trying, but who knows if it's true... Also, I don't want to lose all the gray overnight as that would be too obvious.

Anyone have any advice or experience to share on this?
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post #2 of 50
2/2/08 at 8:27pm
Go to a good salon. They'll be able to tint over the gray.
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post #3 of 50
2/2/08 at 8:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TintinATL View Post
I'm 48 and my hair has been going gradually gray for 10+ years. I just hate it. My beard is also very gray, so I am now clean-shaven, even though I would love to grow a beard now and then. And there's a bunch of gray hairs on my chest. At least so far - thank god - no gray pubes, but I know it can't be long.

Anyway, the real issue is my hair. I keep my hair pretty short (#4 clipper) because I think the gray shows less that way. It's not evenly spread in a "salt n pepper" way - it's working its way from the temples upwards, so I have a gray ring with darker hair on top. I'm in a "creative" business and just don't feel the gray hair works for me.

I've tried Grecian but it didn't seem to do anything - maybe I wasn't consistent enough in using it - and I didn't like the smell. I've considered dyeing it but I don't want to look like I did - you know, that "solid" jet black look that screams "dye job". Some of the commercials for women's hair color on TV talk about how they color different strands slightly different shades for a natural look, so I was wondering if that might be worth trying, but who knows if it's true... Also, I don't want to lose all the gray overnight as that would be too obvious.

Anyone have any advice or experience to share on this?

Several women I know dye their hair (quite possibly some of the men I know do so as well but just don't talk about it) -- or more to the point, have their hairstylists color their hair. When they have it done professionally (I think they do the "blending" thing you allude to) it looks natural to me. When they try to do it at home with drugstore products it ends up looking fake and stupid. So, if you're going to go that route, I'd talk to your barber or hairstylist or whatever, or maybe ask a female friend who colors her hair for a recommendation.

I suspect it doesn't look nearly as bad as you think. Personally, I think think gray hair looks good on a lot of guys and a fair number of women as well. But you obviously don't like it on yourself, so best of luck finding something that works.
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post #4 of 50
2/2/08 at 8:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawyerdad View Post
I suspect it doesn't look nearly as bad as you think. Personally, I think think gray hair looks good on a lot of guys and a fair number of women as well. But you obviously don't like it on yourself, so best of luck finding something that works.

+1
I think it looks somewhat distinguished. I've shaved my head for the past 10 years. For some stupid reason (*cough* a woman *cough) I decided to grow it out. I also grew out a beard which has also been about 10 years since one made an appearance. Quite a bit of gray in the beard, but not much in the hair, but I don't think it looks bad at all.
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post #5 of 50
2/2/08 at 8:49pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the thoughts gentlemen. As regards having it done professionally, I'm mostly concerned with how long that will last. I think my hair grows quite fast. I get it cut every 4 weeks. What should I expect to pay for a professional coloring?
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post #6 of 50
2/2/08 at 9:18pm
Live with it. It's cheaper and less embarrassing than an obvious dye job, in the long run. Nobody worth taking seriously objects to grey hair on a man of your age.
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post #7 of 50
2/2/08 at 9:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TintinATL View Post
Thanks for the thoughts gentlemen. As regards having it done professionally, I'm mostly concerned with how long that will last. I think my hair grows quite fast. I get it cut every 4 weeks. What should I expect to pay for a professional coloring?

For a full colouring job, roughly 1.5 - 2 times the price of a cut.

If you just get a 'glaze' to tint the grays, it should cost less and will be easy enough to touch up when you go for your regular cuts, if necessary.
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post #8 of 50
2/2/08 at 9:26pm
I've never understood this fear of going gray. I'd be more concerned about atrophying into a flabby lump with aging. If you're concerned about how you look, get to a gym or go cycling or something. It'll make you feel better than dying your hair. If you're normal/healthy looking, gray/silver/white hair can look very good and lend you a distinguished air. Granted, I have a ways to go before I start graying, but I'm kind of looking forward to it in a strange way.
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post #9 of 50
2/2/08 at 9:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosoph View Post
Granted, I have a ways to go before I start graying, but I'm kind of looking forward to it in a strange way.

Those will be your peak earning years.
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post #10 of 50
2/2/08 at 9:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosoph View Post
I've never understood this fear of going gray. I'd be more concerned about atrophying into a flabby lump with aging. If you're concerned about how you look, get to a gym or go cycling or something. It'll make you feel better than dying your hair. If you're normal/healthy looking, gray/silver/white hair can look very good and lend you a distinguished air.

Granted, I have a ways to go before I start graying, but I'm kind of looking forward to it in a strange way.

Absolutely nothing wrong with gray hair, but much like a slim-cut suit, it doesn't look good on everyone.
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post #11 of 50
2/2/08 at 9:36pm
Studies show that men are looked upon more favorably if they have gray compared to women.

I think it's better to leave the gray.
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post #12 of 50
2/2/08 at 9:38pm
Could also go the fully shaved rout. No hair, no grey.

I'd just go grey with pride, though.
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post #13 of 50
2/2/08 at 9:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayJay View Post
Studies show that men are looked upon more favorably if they have gray compared to women.

I think it's better to leave the gray.

More favourably compared to women but what about compared to other-than-gray-haired men?
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post #14 of 50
2/2/08 at 9:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merckx View Post
Those will be your peak earning years.

Oh yes. I'm just kind of curious what shade I'll end up with, being blond.
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post #15 of 50
2/3/08 at 12:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosoph View Post
I've never understood this fear of going gray. I'd be more concerned about atrophying into a flabby lump with aging. If you're concerned about how you look, get to a gym or go cycling or something. It'll make you feel better than dying your hair. If you're normal/healthy looking, gray/silver/white hair can look very good and lend you a distinguished air.
+1 There are lots of ways to improve your appearance that don't involve hiding your maturity. A graying man who's in great shape looks both experienced and formidable. Dress him up and he becomes downright imposing.
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