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Chimp Scores Second Base W/ Christina Ricci

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
I'm jealous!

http://www.smh.com.au/news/film/chri...714100384.html
post #2 of 27
Wait, breasts are second base? What's first?
post #3 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheIdler View Post
Wait, breasts are second base? What's first?

It's been a while since I've counted the bases, but I believe first base centered on the lips.
post #4 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheIdler View Post
Wait, breasts are second base? What's first?

Hmm I havent thought about this weird tween analogy in years but I thought it went: 1st base is kissing, 2nd base is boobie action, 3rd base is cootchie action, and a homerun is well, a homerun.

I could be wrong though but I believe that's how it works in Jersey.
post #5 of 27
If you've seen "Black Snake Moan", the chimp is the least of her troubles....
post #6 of 27
Need pictures.
post #7 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by underwearer View Post
Hmm I havent thought about this weird tween analogy in years but I thought it went: 1st base is kissing, 2nd base is boobie/handjob/fingering action, 3rd base is oral action, and a homerun is well, a homerun.
Fixed for what I thought. Grand slam is anal, I guess.
post #8 of 27
Thread Starter 
I wonder if the Chimp will be wearing Isaac Mizrahi on future red carpets?
post #9 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dedalus View Post
Fixed for what I thought. Grand slam is anal, I guess.

Or walk off homerun? You score that far and you might as well go home because you've won the game.
post #10 of 27
Do gay people use the baseball analogy? Maybe they use the defensive side of it, what with the pitching and catching.
post #11 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dedalus View Post
Do gay people use the baseball analogy? Maybe they use the defensive side of it, what with the pitching and catching.

Lolz...I was wondering what Women use?

1st base: He bought me dinner
2nd base: I blew him in the parking lot
3rd base: He bought me a ring
Homerun: We're divorced and I got the house
post #12 of 27
After reading the article, I think it's obvious the chimpanzee was angry that she kept referring to him as a "monkey." Grabbing her breast was his way of saying, "I'm an ape, you nitwit."
post #13 of 27
I actually thought from the thread title that George Bush had embraced her in a way the libs deemed inappropriate. Glad to see it was just a chimp. Chimps are pretty vicious though. There have been some horrifying attacks on people.

And yes, I realize that humans are ten times as vicious as chimps, but still....
post #14 of 27
Well, live and learn. If I'm remembering correctly, first base for us was breast-touching, second base was touching coochie, third base involved oral, and a home run was a home run. I prefer your system because it inflates my OPS.
post #15 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by underwearer View Post
2nd base: I blew him in the parking lot

I don't think any women see that as an accomplishment
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