So Im having girl troubles - Page 3

Fantastic edit!

Isn't it supposed to be Ys and not y's?

It took this thread about two pages to achieve epicness.

Am I the only one who thought "girl troubles" mean Conne was concerned about "spotting"?

Mind your p's and q's.

Apparently you're the only one who thought of this without prompting. Not the only one to find it comical, though.

My unwavering view on issues like these - only date women who were born in South America. I stumbled onto these gems some years ago by accident and I will not go back again to a American blanca.

I give you -

- Most are very pretty, and many are absolutely gorgeous. While they know it, they are not arrogant about it.

- They always keep themselves in shape, even later in life. Seems like they always want to look good for their man.

- It may take some time for you to round the bases (think in terms of months instead of days), at that moment the flood gates will be completely open. You will get sex at the drop of a hat, whenever you want it, and sometimes even when you dont! I swear these womens libidos are worse then mens. Everyone I have dated have told me some variation of the same thing. "You know how white girls need to be "in the mood?" Well....thats not me...." or "I think about sex all the time. I cant help it." Typical phone conversation - "Hey baby. Hi honey! When are you getting home? Im so horny right now!" These are not exceptions, and it is not just at the beginning of the relationship.

- If you commit to them, their main focus is from then on you and making you happy. Whatever you give to them comes back 100 times to you.

Typical day with my Colombian gf -

- Wake up - she shuts the alarm fast so not to wake me. She showers, gets dressed, and wakes me with kisses and has juice and coffee ready for me on my nightstand. I try to plan extra time because sex at this point is almost inevitable.

- I shower - towel put out for me in the bathroom and she goes and makes me breakfast. Huevos rancheros. Yum.

- Drives me to the subway. Kiss and she drives to work (shes a teacher).

- When I arrive at work, I already have a txt mssg - "I miss you already. I love you baby." Ok guys, you will claim publically that you think thats gay, but tell me you wouldnt privately eat that up from a hot latina.....

- Always offers to make lunch for me. If I can handle the food coma......

- Leaves me alone during the day bc she knows Im very busy at work. Totally understands.

- Get home - if she doesnt pick me up from the subway - meets me at the front door w a full body hug

- Sex as soon as I get my coat off. Sometimes I dont have a choice - not that I really want one.

- Delicious dinner prepared for me, unless I take her out to dinner.

- Sex again before we fall asleep, followed by a massage.


Well gents, that is a typical day, and it is not specific to her. It has been some close variation of that w every South American that I have dated. Do what you wish with this advice.......

Sounds like heaven!

All fine and good, but wait a little bit. Not from first hand experience, but how about that Latina rage? Look at a girl in a tight skirt on the street, you'll be bending over to pick up the glasses she smacked off your face. Talk about an ex, she takes out that vodoo sh*t and that is the last you talk about that. Friends that are girls, not anymore.

Nail on the head and it does sound like first hand experience


The jealousy is off the charts loony. That I do tell you from first hand experience.

I was waiting for someone to bring that up. Good point, and Id be lying if I said it doesnt exist - they are the most passionate women on the planet - in either direction. Id say half of the ones Ive been with have been reasonable, and the other half maybe a bit too much. Its really all obvious stuff though - just treat her regarding those things the same way youd want to be treated and you'll never have a problem. Would you want your gf to stare open-mouthed at the jacked waiters crotch? Well, the same thing applies to you. The other thing is - and this may be too obvious - no cheating. None. If you do it, they WILL catch you. Its in their blood. And when they do - all of the things I wrote above are now over for you forever. That is the one thing that they cant get past, not that I really blame them. On the flip side, the ones I have dated have been smoking hot and have screwed me six ways till Sunday. Why go out for burgers when I have steak at home?

You are like the Amerikajinda of Latin women.

I was about to post that, pretty much all posts I see about women look like an awkward mix of "dear penthouse" and what your therapist gets you to say when he really goes through your defenses but you haven't come to any form of self-understanding yet.