Dinner party at a partner's house

Hi All,

I'm invited to a dinner party at a partner's house outside of Boston at the end of the month. The invite said 'informal', so I won't be wearing a suit, but what do I wear? I'm new to the firm, I've never met most of the people that will attend, and have no idea of what to expect - preppy? sports shirts and khakies? blazers?

I'm currently thinking one of two approaches:

1) Dressy navy merino-wool John Smedley mock-neck and medium brown cords. I think a dressy mock-neck and cords make for a nice informal fall outfit, however, what say you all about navy/brown combos? Am I better with a medium-grey mock-neck in lieu of the navy?

2) Dark blue sport shirt with wool slacks. But what color slacks - charcaol? light grey?

Shoes are less of a problem - I'll probably go with chocolate brown something.

Thanks for any help.

Based on your description of the invitation, if it were me attending, I would wear blue double breasted blazer with off white cashmere turtleneck sweater, grey flannel trousers and drak brown suede cap toe shoes. Classic but casual at the same time.

Notice I didn't ask you what profession you and your partner are in. I think the above ensamble works for a lawyer, accountant, doctor, etc, especially in the Boston area at this time of year.

What is the age group?

But assuming the age group of attendies are around 30s - 50s.. I would say dress up is nothing wrong.

So, if I was to go such event, I would wear sports coat, shirt, and nice wool pant that combo.

I would also wear a suit .. but without a tie.

I would not do kachikes .. stick with nice wool..

Thanks, cuffthis and MS.

Just to clarify, I am a lawyer and the crowd will be associates (like me, 25-35) and partners (40 and over).

I know they say better be overdressed than underdressed, but I'm sort of hesitant to be the only one of my age group with a coat on. So I guess the question is: should I dress like an associate or a partner?

In this case, I would wear charcoal slacks, a nice button down and a black blazer. I would definitely not do the db blazer.

Navy sb blazer, grey flannels, lace ups, and a repp tie. You'll not only NOT look out of place, you'll get compliments if you are the most well dressed. If you are conspicuous, you can always pull off the tie and stuff it in a pocket.

-Tom

| This is one of the most important moments for your future career This dinner party and other after work activities have the same importance as your performance at work. They are usually organized by the older and powerful guys at the firm. They study the youngsters like you to find out who will make a better CEO in the future. They want to know if you have the social graces to represent the firm at every level. So, this first dinner party is your ticket to make a great impression socially among the associates and bosses. The most conservative sports outfit To make a great impression you need to dress sharply and conservatively. I would recommend: Â Â Â Â Â a) Dark navy blaser. If not feasible a rich dark sport coat. Â Â Â Â Â b) White dress shirt only. Â Â Â Â Â c) Charcoal or medium gray wool pleated pants. The so-called, banker's gray would be ideal. Â Â Â Â Â d) Brown dress leather shoes and a soft brown belt. The best you can afford. Â Â Â Â Â e) A rep blue/maroon silk tie. You can always take it off. Â Â Â Â Â f) Lastly, a white pocket square. Don't forget this one. It's for the real men. So, these are my thoughts about it. It comes from a man that up to two years ago thought that hard work and dressing down were enough. Â

A sport coat or blazer, nice wool pants, good leather shoes and either a nice wool turtleneck, or a dress shirt (with or without a tie.) Wear a pocket square. I would probably go tie-less myself. If the rest of your ensemble is nice, you probably don't need a tie. With a navy blazer, a tie might look a bit too formal. With a tweed sport coat, a tie might add just the right dash of class.

I went through a number of these functions when I was an associate. I still remember one of my first parties. It was at the home of one of the senior partners, a beautifully appointed New York City apartment. I was chatting with one of the senior partners, a woman with a habit of dressing very "fashionably". This particular evening, she was wearing a pink angora sweater, trimmed with feathers. While I was speaking with her, I saw one of the feathers detatch itself from her sweater, and float towards me. I was engaged in conversation, and lost track of the feather. Next thing I knew, I had inhaled the feather, right up my nose. It was very uncomfortable, and all of my instincts were telling me to get the feather out, even if it meant jamming my finger up my nose to the third joint. The partner was unaware of what was going on, but my wife had seen the feather, and saw me inhale it. She was trying hard not to fall on the ground laughing.
I extricated myself from the conversation, got the feather out, and my wife and I laughed about it until we were in tears. It was a somewhat ridiculous situation.

Kai

Like others have said, I'd wear a very nice blazer and wool slacks, and I'd go with a nice tie. In the event a few partners gently rib you about not knowing how to relax, you could always take the tie off. But you certainly don't want to end up wishing you HAD worn one...

Definitely overdress. Use my method of overdressing:

Pretend that you have some type of formal occasion earlier in the day so that you have a good reason to be overdressed. This way you avoid being the one guy in the room who's underdressed, which is a fate worse than death. And if everyone is dressed up, you'll fit right in.

Personally, I would go with something like a navy or dark charcoal suit, with a french blue shirt w/o tie, and nice chocolate brown shoes. I think the look is a little bit more relaxed than suit/tie but still professional and just a bit dressed down from a work ensemble.

Another option would be to wear a shirt (and if you like a tie) under a nice V-neck sweater. I have to say that, as an associate at a law firm, I think the blazer is very conservative--though since I am in NY, perhaps that explains it.

Thanks to all who chimed in.

I haven't had a chance to check the forum all day long - gotta earn my upkeep so said partner can throw a dinner party and fly me over fropm NYC for it...

Anyway, I'm happy the consensus seems to be blazer/sportcoat, wool pants, tie optional, because I was secretly hopping to be coaxed into 'dressing up'. I think that pretty much settles it. only problem - I don't have a decent navy blazer. Imagine that. Could it be time to go shopping? guess so...

Kai - thanks for that feather story. That's the first laugh I had all day.

Another work party story: My apologies to all those who have already read it in another thread.

My first year out of law school, I attended a firm party at the home of one of the senior partners of the firm. His house was a huge mansion in Greenwich, CT. Well over 10,000 square feet, a big, beautiful manicured lawn, a boat slip, pool, and a beautiful view of the ocean.
One of the other senior partners called all of us first year associates around him. He said:

"You see Bill's house? It's pretty amazing, isn't it." (appreciative nods from all of us first years) "It would be pretty cool to be able to afford a house like this someday, wouldn't it?" (more affirmative nods from the first year associates) "Well," he continued, "I'm going to tell you a secret about our law firm." "If you work really really hard, and I mean REALLY hard, that means weekends, holidays, birthdays, and late into the night . . . and you bill thousands of hours, and generate new business for our firm . . . and you do that year after year. . . . then Bill will be able to build another house, just like this one, down in Florida."

More than a grain of truth in this joke.

Kai--That's a fabulous story.

Everyone--I take it no one else hears a faint but insistent voice warning that "informal" might just possibly have its old fashioned meaning: "evening dress but not white tie"?

 . . . Nah.  I guess not.