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Most pretentious coffee/espresso drink ever

post #1 of 78
12/30/07 at 11:52pm
Thread Starter 
I've been in starbucks quite a bit as of late and I've heard some people order all kind of these things which some outright pretentious. What's the worst you've ever heard anyone order? You know like the tall soy carmel machiato latte with no foam and extra extra (sweet and low).
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post #2 of 78
12/31/07 at 12:20am
Yes, I'll have an Austrian goat milk double-half-caf-half-decaf-soy milk cappuccino - extra hot - with a dash of Madagascar cinnamon-and half tablespoon of caramel-latte-frappa-mocha... and keep the change -- you look like you could use a haircut, hippie.
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post #3 of 78
12/31/07 at 12:23am
If there're more than 3 words in it, it's yuppity.
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post #4 of 78
12/31/07 at 1:45am
A 13 shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel.
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post #5 of 78
12/31/07 at 1:46am
"I'll have one of those vanillabullshitlattecappa things."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akQgee_n43o

lefty
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post #6 of 78
12/31/07 at 1:49am
i get a coffee (or 'tall drip' as they call it) and leave room for cream, i put half/half in it and dont mix it, shaken not stirred, no sugar. and that is my pretentious drink.
i take a sip of it, and then i make my eyebrows askew like The Rock does, and then say, 'hmmm' and take my laptop out and sit there pretending like i am doing something on the laptop.
no just kidding. i never brought a laptop to starbucks or brought something to study. how can you, with all the distractions?
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post #7 of 78
12/31/07 at 2:41am
I work at starbucks...

My drinks are fairly labor intensive.

Buy san pellegrino,
($1.64)
Pour into iced venti cup, add lemonade up to the second line, 2 pumps of melon syrup, a drop of strawberry sauce(the thing they use for the strawberries and cream frappuccino) and ice. It's like tart sparkling lemonade without much sugar.
I usually walk the barista through the process.

My other usual beverage is a triple tall 2 pump vanilla 2 pump almond organic latte.
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post #8 of 78
12/31/07 at 2:44am
Once I got a regular coffee and asked if I could get some ice for my nalgene bottle ( I get the water out of the cooler at the lab).

One of the employees, an older lady (40s?), thought it was genius that I would just mix my own ice-milk-coffee- concoctions and not pay the extra $3.


I'm not sure what that warranted from the below list.



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post #9 of 78
12/31/07 at 2:47am
With all the complex drinks Starbucks is able to make, why does their plain espresso always taste charred ?
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post #10 of 78
12/31/07 at 2:48am
the lattes are made with espresso.

just get iced coffee. get like an extra sweet tall iced coffee in an iced venti cup (most baristas will over pour giving you more than you should get) and add milk at the condiment bar...

edit^ espresso machines not calibrated, and they use automatics. I miss the old manual ones where the barista had a little more control over the shots. the shot times are so erratic that you practically have to pray for a good shot. If you want to be anal about it, walk into a manhattan starbucks, get a double espresso, and use a stop watch to time the shots. If it's not 15-19 seconds(it's usually about 10-12 at crappy sbux) then it's not calibrated. Even then, it's pretty damn hard to coax the caramel undertones out of the espresso roast that they use. Oh well.
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post #11 of 78
12/31/07 at 8:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by robin View Post

I love how he presented the coupon after she rang him up - "After she rang up the amount, I then presented her the coupon (which I didn't reveal beforehand)." It would have been even better if the person ringing up the drink had a bad attitude...
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post #12 of 78
12/31/07 at 1:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by skalogre View Post
With all the complex drinks Starbucks make is able to make, why does their plain espresso always taste charred ?

In order to taste 'coffee' through all of the syrup, cream, and sugar, they over-roast their beans. They specialize in coffee-flavored drinks, not real coffee.
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post #13 of 78
12/31/07 at 2:00pm
The drip coffee is always burnt.
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post #14 of 78
12/31/07 at 2:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHoff View Post
In order to taste 'coffee' through all of the syrup, cream, and sugar, they over-roast their beans. They specialize in coffee-flavored drinks, not real coffee.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal2NYC View Post
The drip coffee is always burnt.

That's why I always like to go to a smaller, mid-sized coffee house in my area rather than a huge chain like Starbucks. Not only are the drinks generally better (although smaller self-owned coffeehouses can be hit or miss) they're regularly less expensive as well.
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post #15 of 78
12/31/07 at 2:07pm
Anything but Irish coffee.
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