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Less than a week's notice for black tie wedding

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 

Hi All,

Just joined the site a few minutes ago! So here's the scoop: my girlfriend's boss got drunk last night after a long and stressful day of work and told my girlfriend that he would absolutely love if her and I could attend his wedding..... This Saturday. The website for their wedding lists the attire as "black tie". I emailed back and forth with him this afternoon and he told me that he knows he gave me ridiculously short notice and "not to worry" about the black tie part; just wear what I want. I wouldn't have time at this point anyway to go out and rent a tux so that obviously leaves me in a suit at this point. Of course I don't want to look like a complete goober so I need some guidance on what to wear. Wedding is at 1:00 pm in a nice church in downtown Manhattan, and the reception afterwards is at Blue Hill at Stone Barn. I have about 10 or 12 different dress shirts and a lot of ties, the ties most of which are patterned in some way or another (some tiny and conservative, others more colorful and bold, plaids etc.). Going out and buying an appropriate tie in the next few days is of course no issue. I have two tailored suits, one is dark grey/charcoal and the other is a more medium to light grey. So I'm thinking the following:

 

  • Charcoal suit
  • Black cap toe oxfords with black laces (I have lots of colored laces I wear at work but I'm assuming those are a no-no)
  • Solid white shirt (or something else?)
  • Simple white linen pocket square with thin light blue border
  • No clue about the tie
  • No clue about the socks
  •  

So solid white shirt or maybe a light blue? I'm guessing white is what you guys will recommend. As far as the tie goes, should it be solid and clean with no patterns or color whatsoever? If it should be plain what color/s? Black? Grey? And lastly the socks: black? Dark grey? No patterns or colors?

I appreciate any guidance you're willing to share,
Randy

post #2 of 23
your outfit sounds fine
no colored laces.

You live or work in NYC?
rothman's has a good selection of tuxedos in stock
under $600
a tux does not have to cost a fortune
even men's warehouse, if it fits properly.
post #3 of 23

Shirt: Solid white is preferable to blue, or patterns.

 

Tie: Solids are nice, especially with a grenadine weave. If you want patterns, make sure they're muted: nothing louder than stripes or minidots. Color-wise: this depends on if it's in the day or at night, and whether most guests will be in tuxedos (black tie vs black tie preferred). If at night (and most in tuxes), then the color should be as dark + close to black as possible (midnight navy is of course another option). If during the day, you have more color options.

 

Socks: No biggie on this one. They are not even supposed to be seen. Can't go wrong with solid black

 

good luck

post #4 of 23

Come to think of it, if you just get a black bow tie and tuxedo shirt (or if one of your white dress shirts can pass for a tux shirt), and your charcoal suit is dark enough, I'll bet that most people wouldn't even notice you are wearing "incorrect" black tie. something to consider

post #5 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shirtmaven View Post

your outfit sounds fine
no colored laces.

You live or work in NYC?
rothman's has a good selection of tuxedos in stock
under $600
a tux does not have to cost a fortune
even men's warehouse, if it fits properly.

 

Any input on the tie?

post #6 of 23

He's having a black tie wedding at 1pm? Don't worry about looking like a goober because he's already taken care of that. :lol:

post #7 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by starro View Post
 

Come to think of it, if you just get a black bow tie and tuxedo shirt (or if one of your white dress shirts can pass for a tux shirt), and your charcoal suit is dark enough, I'll bet that most people wouldn't even notice you are wearing "incorrect" black tie. something to consider

 

Sounds a bit too risky for me - thanks for the suggestion though.

post #8 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caustic Man View Post
 

He's having a black tie wedding at 1pm? Don't worry about looking like a goober because he's already taken care of that. :lol:

 

Yeah - I found that pretty interesting (odd) myself.

post #9 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandMan14 View Post
 

 

Yeah - I found that pretty interesting (odd) myself.

 

Well, technically, the correct black-tie get-up for daytime is a stroller, but hardly anyone knows what it is, let alone owns one. Hell, many tailors have no freaking idea!

post #10 of 23

A stroller isn't black tie, it's daytime semi-formal. Daytime formal would be Morning Dress.

post #11 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caustic Man View Post
 

A stroller isn't black tie, it's daytime semi-formal. Daytime formal would be Morning Dress.


Getting a little bored there? ;)

 

Stroller aka Stresemann is daytime lounge, just as evening lounge is the dinner jacket. So stroller is what the guests should be wearing before 6pm in order to be at black tie's formality level.

 

Morning dress (assuming you mean the morning cutaway coat) is a body coat. Apples and oranges.

post #12 of 23

Moving this to Menswear advice.  I can talk morning dress all day long, but really, let's just try to answer the OPs questions, please?

post #13 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by starro View Post
 


Getting a little bored there? ;)

 

Stroller aka Stresemann is daytime lounge, just as evening lounge is the dinner jacket. So stroller is what the guests should be wearing before 6pm in order to be at black tie's formality level.

 

Morning dress (assuming you mean the morning cutaway coat) is a body coat. Apples and oranges.

 

The dinner jacket (aka tuxedo) supplanted full dress as the acceptable formal evening wear over time. The stroller never did that for day wear and remains semi-formal, especially considering it is relatively unknown today. Your knowledge of the subject lacks nuance but since you are new I will excuse it.

post #14 of 23

Man, someone really has too much free time on his hands! @Caustic Man, I would heed LA's warning and stick to advice giving. But since you insist...

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caustic Man View Post
 

 

The dinner jacket (aka tuxedo) supplanted full dress as the acceptable formal evening wear over time. 

 

White tie is still alive and well, and to anyone who knows, is a step above black-tie/DJ in formality. Let me break it down for you (and anyone interested):

White tie -> Evening formal

Black tie -> Evening semi-formal

Morning dress -> day formal

Stroller -> Day semi-formal

 

Ergo, white tie tailcoat is to morning dress cutaway as black tie tuxedo is to stroller. That's alot of terms to juggle, especially if English is a second language.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caustic Man View Post
 

Your knowledge of the subject lacks nuance but since you are new I will excuse it.

 

So you're an expert? Prove it by giving the key differences between a body and a lounge coat. If you can't without having to look it up, cut the bullying crap out.

post #15 of 23

If you guys really feel like discussing the niceties of formality in morning and evening dress, please tell me, and I'll take those posts to a new thread in CM. (for real)

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